In The Kingdom Of Theatre Magic...

Once and awhile a hilarious theatre malfunction would actually happen NOT on an Opening Night but a few performances later, thankfully AFTER the critic gave glowing praise.  

Now one of the nightmares an actor dreads most is when another actor misses their cue to come on stage or a tech malfunction may keep one from GETTING there.  Suddenly the lone actor or even an entire ensemble may find themselves desperately trying to adlib for what seems like an eternity [and often is] with a full House casting all their attention upon THEM.  All just waiting, waiting, waiting...😱🎭

At the same theatre once again as the infamous "Gone With The Wind" and "The Phantom" hilarity I have recently shared, we were doing the musical "Wicked."  For those unfamiliar, "Wicked" takes place in the Land Of Oz at a time before and after Dorothy dropped in by way of tornado.  It is told from the perspective of the Wicked Witch and Glinda The Good Witch.  The musical is about their struggles with each other and The Wizard before the Wicked Witch falls from grace forever.  Somehow the huge part where the Wicked Witch was melted in the movie classic "The Wizard Of Oz, " then returns was never clear to me how this got dealt with and I was just too busy designing sets to get a further explanation.  But this minor detail has nothing to do with what I am about to share here anyway...😂🎭

There is a HUGE GRANDIOSE MOMENT when Glinda in a "bubble" high above rear center stage descends in royal style to the stage.  The scene really is/was a very beautiful feat achieved in theatre craftsmanship.  Just beautiful. 

And it would have been VERY beautiful this particular performance if things went as planned.  But they didn't you see, otherwise I would not have a hilarious event to share.😂

A few moments after Loralei starring as Glinda began descending, the bubble stopped, hanging high in the air.

Since Glinda was far beyond her entry platform she was trapped.

This situation now thrust the Ensemble Cast on the stage waiting for Glinda, into a terrible place of "what the hell do we do NOW" terror, which I can assure you is not a fun place to be.  However since this IS show business, Blake, a veteran actor began adlibbing as the tech crew desperately began trying to find what went so wrong.

With a desperate sense of very misplaced hope, the tech crew's presence way up high meant a miracle to Blake as he suddenly exclaimed to the Ensemble, "Oh look!  LOOK!  Glinda is coming!"

Only she wasn't. 

"Look!  Look!  Glinda REALLY is coming everyone!  Do you see her?"

No one responded.

Because Glinda still was not coming yet.

"Wait!  It appears Glinda is stuck in Bubble Traffic!"

BUBBLE TRAFFIC?!!  FRIGGIN BUBBLE TRAFFIC?!!🤣

By this time we in the wings lost it.  We were dying in laughter we were trying hard to suppress.  But we were not the ONLY ones, for by now the audience began losing it too.  It was the "Bubble Traffic" reference you see.

What else could poor Blake do?!!😂

"Oh my there really is a LOT of Bubble Traffic today!"

Suddenly the tech crew were able to get Glinda's Bubble to descend more.  

Then it stopped again.  

She was still high above the stage yet now in full view of the audience.

"Oh dear, I think Glinda has had a Bubble Accident by a hit and run Bubble!  This must be why she is stopped!  She's waiting for The Oz Patrol to arrive!"

Blake knew he was sounding desperate even though the audience were rolling in laughter.  He made a brief dash to the opposite wing whispering way louder than what he thought, "What the hell are they doing up there?"

They were laughing too hard to respond.

Meanwhile in the bubble up high Loralei was beginning to wonder if they would ever free her.

Cried Blake up to Glinda, "Hang on Glinda!  The Oz Patrol has been detained in Munchkinland!  Someone stole the lollipops and you know how they are about their lollipops!"

Suddenly I had an inspiration and motioned for Blake to come.  He loved my suggestion and told the Orchestra. Uh, that is when they could stop laughing.  Then he told the Ensemble.

I would not have told Blake what I did without having just learned the tech crew found the problem.

To the tune of "She'll Be Coming Around The Mountain When She Comes," the Ensemble would sing "She'll be descending down to the stage when she comes."

As Blake and the Ensemble sang this catchy tune to those words, Blake encouraged the audience to join in too which they very enthusiastically did.

And then...AND THEN...true to the magic of Theatre the Bubble began descending to rousing applause.

It was BEAUTIFUL. 

All was now well again in the Kingdom Of Theatre Magic...

...at least until the next disaster.😂🎭

Long Ago Just Yesterday...

There are moments in our lives where it may take just a word, a place, or a song to bring the memories of cherished moments flooding back...

Long ago and far away on a dark December Sunday after Aiden and I cared for our horses, we finally made 

a stop at a old place near the farm in rural Maryland which sold antiques and all kinds of treasure.  It was a old weathered place but very warm and cozy inside.

There were a few chairs and tables too where coffee and homemade pie could be ordered.  No way would Aiden's sweet tooth ever let us pass THAT opportunity by!

The proprietors of the place, Mr. and Mrs. Shropshire obviously were quite intrigued with us being one of us was a bit unique you see.  When they then learned we BOTH had horses they were even more intrigued.  They had two questions. 

"How did the two of you meet?"

Aiden answered, "Well, my horse wouldn't let me catch her, but Adelaide's horse always comes running to her.

My horse became buddies with hers so I had no choice BUT to get to know this lady!"

Then they asked me the infamous, "How DO you get ON your horse?!!"

We had a lovely visit with the Shropshires.  Since Dr. Kopits was well known in Maryland they knew about 

his work with Little People and asked if I knew him.

"Ohhh yes, very much so.  Dr. Kopits is why I moved here.  He asked if I could for surgeries.  He is beside himself with happiness for Aiden and I.  He even has insisted on walking me down the aisle to give me away for our wedding!"

"My oh my, you two are getting married?!!  When?"

Aiden told them.  "April 1st!"

"April Fool's Day?!!"

"Of course!  Why not?  We're fools for each other!  It will be a FUN day for a wedding!  Besides, Dr. Kopits told us he's free that weekend so Adelaide and I grabbed it."

After we were done eating pie we looked all around 

the place.  And that's when Aiden saw it.  A lovely old brass and glass music box.  After he wound it and pressed the little lever the sweet tinkling purring music box melody of "Unchained Melody" poured out filling the air and filling our hearts.  We looked at each other in wordless wonder for "Unchained Melody" was one of OUR songs.

We HAD to buy it.  Only the Shropshires wouldn't hear 

of us paying for the music box.  They dearly insisted on giving it to us for a wedding gift!  We were SO touched.

Then they had one more question.  Since they were aware of the cruel ridicule Little People live with they wondered how we dealt with it.

I explained it was because I lived with cruel ridicule all my life, obviously I was more "used" to it than Aiden.  It really was hard for him and understandably so to see and hear what the non-humans were capable of doing.

It was a challenge for him to ignore such behavior for everything within him wanted only to protect me.  He too had to learn ignoring is the only way. 

I miss him so.  Yet oh, how I treasure the time we had.

I still have that precious music box.  For years I could hardly touch it.  Every now and then though I play it's sweet soft melody so dear to my heart.💕🎶

Oh my love, my darling

I've hungered for your touch

A long lonely time

And time goes by so slowly 

And time can do so much

Are you still mine

I need your love

I need your love

God speed your love to me

Lonely rivers flow to the sea to the sea

To the open arms of the sea

Lonely rivers sigh wait for me wait for me

I'll be coming home wait for me

Oh my love, my darling

I've hungered for your touch

A long lonely time

And time goes by so slowly 

And time can do so much

Are you still mine

I need your love

I need your love

God speed your love to me

If You Find This, I Love You...

This previously halfway completed blog sat for awhile before I could finish writing the hard part you will come to about Trevor, a childhood friend.  

Yet what this contains is a message of how a song can have a powerful impact on us.  And holding onto hope.  

Especially for a thirteen year old Adelaide.

For you see, had it not been for the sorrow which carved me from within...had it not been for my courage and finding the best friends when needed most, I would not have soared to attaining all the joy of living the very full amazing life I have had.  

Because of this you would not be reading about a Little Person galloping through the challenges of her life, or her horses, theatre, tough stuff, hilarious stuff, gratitude attitude stuff.  Someone who despite living with the most horrendous challenges and losses kept soaring anyway.  AND STILL IS.

My life at thirteen though was a dark time and filled with loss.  Dear friends from the Orphanage I stayed at were sent to foster homes, my Grandfather suddenly died.  I faced yet another new school with terrible ridicule.  And my childhood was filled with the unending violence and instability from my "parents" instead of having the love and acceptance of normal parents.

At this time the following song below, written and sung by the late Mac Davis hit the charts.  I not only embraced the song deeply, I did exactly what the child does by writing the same words with my name on lots of paper using crayons, then letting the wind scatter them everywhere to find a friend and believing I would.  I was that desperate for a friend then.

And someone DID seek Adelaide out.  A boy two years older than me who lived down the road who had a horse too.  Trevor told me he also desperately needed a friend but never would have had the courage to do what I did to find one by way of wind blowing scraps of paper with heartfelt words written in crayon that he found.

For a very brief time we became close friends and talked a lot.  We galloped our horses across fields and laughed.  Sadly though, Trevor thought suicide would be the only way to deal with things.  My innate fighting spirit was/is too strong a force for me to ever take my life.  I tried so hard to help Trevor as did his loving parents but one day early that Fall he took his life.  It was I who found him. 

I was devastated.  Shattered.  

Yet like the child did in the song knowing she was alone again, she pressed forth by writing her heart in crayon on more scraps of paper with the same tender words as before. Only I went a step further to pressing forth by writing that poem of mine about the darkness of a life without hope in it and why hope needed to be held onto.  

As I shared in a recent blog, because of that poem my English teacher reached out and poured her love into me as her family did too.  Her love took me far beyond my sorrows enabling me to soar because having hope does this.  Three years later I found my four incredible mentor friends and I began my very amazing galloping life.

So never let go of hope out there, dear ones.

At the end of these lyrics below is the link to Mac Davis singing the sweet melody to these words that a young Adelaide too, wrote in crayon on many scraps of paper long ago before scattering them with the wind to find a friend.

And I still am finding them.

   

    On a quiet street

    In the city

    A little old man walked along

    Shufflin' thru the autumn afternoon

    And the autumn leaves reminded him

    Another summer's come and gone

    He had a lonely night ahead

    Waitin' for June

Then among the leaves
Near the orphan's home
A piece of paper caught his eye
And he stooped to pick it up with trembling hands
As he read the childish writing
The old man began to cry
'Cause the words burned inside of him
Like a brand

Whoever finds this I love you
Whoever finds this I need you
I ain't even got no one to talk to
So whoever finds this I love you

The old man's eyes searched the orphan's home
And came to rest upon a child
With her nose pressed up against the window pane
And the old man knew he'd found a friend at last
So he waved at her and smiled
And they both knew they'd spend the winter laughing at the rain

And they did spend the winter laughing at the rain
Talkin' thru the trees and exchanging little gifts
They'd made for each other
The old man would carve toys for the little girl
And she would draw pictures for him of beautiful ladies
Surrounded by green trees and sunshine
And they laughed a lot
But then on the first day of June
The little girl ran to the fence to show
The old man a picture she had drawn
But he wasn't there
And somehow the little girl knew he wasn't coming back
So she went back to her little room
Took a crayon, piece of paper and wrote:

Whoever finds this I love you
Whoever finds this I need you
I ain't even got no one to talk to
So whoever finds this I love you

Songwriters: Mac Davis

Whoever Finds This, I Love You lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC

*Blogger is not posting this as a working link, so please copy and paste this.  It is a song worth hearing.    A.

https://youtu.be/P7KU7Zvjp0Y

Recipe for Kentucky Fried Chicken by scientific research...👇😂

PREP TIME 30 minutes COOK TIME 30 minutes SERVINGS 4 servings

Ingredients

2 cups all-purpose flour

2 teaspoons salt

1-½ teaspoons dried thyme leaves

1-½ teaspoons dried basil leaves

1 teaspoon dried oregano leaves

1 tablespoon celery salt

1 tablespoon ground black pepper

1 tablespoon ground yellow mustard

¼ cup paprika

2 tablespoons garlic salt

1 tablespoon ground ginger

3 tablespoons ground white pepper

1 cup buttermilk

1 egg, beaten

1 chicken, cut up into eight pieces

Neutral oil for frying, like canola or peanut oil

MSG seasoning, like Ajinomoto or Accent

Directions

In a large bowl, combine the flour with the herbs and spices and set aside.

Meanwhile, in another large bowl, whisk together the buttermilk and egg, mixing until they're well combined.

Add the chicken to the buttermilk bowl and toss to coat. Cover the bowl lightly with plastic wrap or a lid and let it sit for 30 minutes, or as long as overnight. If marinade times exceed 30 minutes, place the bowl in the refrigerator.

Meanwhile, preheat the oven to 175 degrees Fahrenheit. Line a baking sheet with aluminum foil. Set an oven-safe wire cooling rack inside the sheet and set aside.

In a large Dutch oven, heat about 3 inches of oil. If you're using an electric tabletop fryer, fill the unit to its MAX line.

Preheat the oil to 350 degrees over medium-high heat, using a deep-frying thermometer to check the temperature. When the oil reaches 350 degrees, reduce the heat to medium-low.

Remove a chicken piece from the buttermilk, allowing any excess liquid to drip off. Place the piece in the flour mixture and press down firmly, allowing the flour to adhere on all sides. Shake off any excess flour and carefully drop the chicken into the hot oil. Continue dredging chicken until the fryer is full but not overcrowded; you should be able to fry three to four pieces at a time.

Cook the chicken for about 12 minutes, turning halfway through, until the crust turns an appealing golden brown color.

Transfer the chicken pieces to the prepared baking sheet and place it in the oven.

Allow the oil to return to temperature before adding more chicken. Repeat the dredging and frying process with the remaining pieces of chicken.

When all the chicken is fried, let the pieces sit in the oven until each reaches an internal temperature of 165 degrees.

Sprinkle each piece of chicken with a few shakes of MSG before serving. If you're unsure about food additives like MSG, feel free to skip the extra seasoning.

Nutrition

Calories per Serving 1,594

Total Fat 118.2 g

Saturated Fat 19.1 g

Trans Fat 0.6 g

Cholesterol 267.4 mg

Total Carbohydrates 65.0 g

Dietary Fiber 7.0 g

Total Sugars 4.1 g

Sodium 1,232.0 mg

Protein 68.6 g

The information shown is Edamam’s estimate based on available ingredients and preparation. It should not be considered a substitute for a professional nutritionist’s advice.

Show Business Hilarity...

Many people outside of life in theatre aside from being a dear audience member now and then, have very little awareness for those backstage who devote their lives relentlessly working very hard to make theatre magic actually happen.  

And happen without anything ever going wrong on Opening Night.  Or on any other night.  

We hope...😂🎭

Throughout North America during the summer months many theatres and Shakespeare organizations do three or more plays by Shakespeare in outdoor parks each year.  This is a way to introduce theatre to many who may not get to have a theatre experience otherwise. 

One summer a small theatre I designed for scheduled three Shakespeare plays in a lovely park.  However due to a construction job the third and last play, "Romeo And Juliet" had to be changed to another park.  A park just a bit LESS lovely than the first...as the area we had to construct a set upon was surrounded very closely by a field with cows and another with horses.  We were wondering if this WAS a real park. 

Not long after I met Aiden's parents who adored me as much as I did them, they were quite keen on not only getting to see a professional production of "Romeo And Juliet," but to see the work their future daughter in-law did.  They were even proudly bragging about me to all their friends.  They also invited them all to come see this performance too.

Aiden and I did our utmost to try to dissuade them from choosing THAT particular production but they wouldn't hear of it!  They had their hearts set on seeing the one Shakespearian play they knew.  And to bring all their friends too, so we had to hope for the best.

Yet as you may have gathered by now in reading these entertaining Theatre Hilarity blogs of mine I have been sharing here, often events unfold in very unexpected ways far beyond our control.

Since this park happened to also be in close proximity to the Chesapeake Bay too, on this particular evening we could see wind was becoming a concern.  Not good, not good.

For these outdoor productions my sets were built on the grass.  EXPOSED you might say.  So my intern and

I constructed a sturdier set than usual which actually turned out to be a very good thing.  Remember those winds.

Please also keep in mind we did not have stage left or 

stage right wings in the traditional sense because 

we were outdoors in the middle of nowhere you see.

Laura, our Costumer of course was there as was our Lighting Designer, James, and myself.

During Act I Laura's job was to assist "Juliet" in a quick dress change.

Only it became The Ripping event heard around the world.😱  Followed by a very loud expletive (which was NOT by the way, Adelaide who said it!😂).

For as our dear Laura began helping "Juliet" with her dress change, RRRRR-IPPPPPPE.  All of us "backstage" froze with horror as our eyes fell upon poor Laura and "Juliet."

So too were the eyes of The Audience, including Aiden, his parents, and everyone they ever knew who came with them.😳

You see it was Laura who delivered the loud F-Bomb!  And it wasn't "Juliet's" dress coming off that failed.  Oh no, not that at all.  For after the loud expletive Laura cried out, "My pants split!"😱

And she had very good reason to be horrified, for on 

all days for the Costume Designer to have her pants split as wide as the Amazon River out in the middle of nowhere, she happened to be wearing underpants with large bright red lettering on the rear which said, "I'M NAUGHTY," which could very clearly be seen like a 

bright neon light.

Ohhh, this was not a good day for our dear Laura to have chosen THOSE very underpants to wear.😂

Being the loyal staff members they tried very hard to be at that moment, the male staff members totally lost it.

They were rolling in the grass laughing in hysterics.  

At this point the audience began laughing out of 

control too, but really had no clue other than The 

Huge RRRRR-IPPPPPPE heard around the world as 

to exactly what they were laughing about.🙃

Now remember we were out in the middle of nowhere here with very little means at our disposal to repair pants split wide open revealing the words, "I'm Naughty."  However, I just happened to bring along an item in case the stage needed a temporary fix.  Never ever underestimate the miracle this item is capable of for it literally saved Laura's butt.  You will be absolutely amazed by what Duct Tape can fix...😂👍

Following the RRRRR-IPPPPPPE heard around the 

world and our dear Laura's Naughtiness we assumed there couldn't possibly be any more excitement for one night, but alas, this was not to be.

For one of the mares in the horse pasture decided to pee near the fence.  Now I have seen horses pee and shit a thousand times.  Aside from those moments I would suddenly find myself accidentally being the one getting peed or shit upon by one of my horses because I was in the wrong place at the wrong time, a horse peeing is really a non-event to me.  So I especially was not prepared for this event to take the attention of the audience or our staff away from Shakespeare that it did. 

But it did.

Because when horses pee they can REALLY PEE!  We are talking Niagara Falls here folks!  I'm not kidding!😂

And for the hoomans transfixed by watching this event not even Shakespeare himself coming back to life could have held their attention like the horse peeing did!

Remember the cows?  During late spring into summer 

a farmer keeps his prize bull with the cows for the sake of making calves.  Well apparently no one happened to mention this very important fact to our Artistic Director when he was shown the park where we would be staging Romeo And Juliet.

Unfortunately the bull did not give us the consideration of holding off his love making until AFTER the play or at least confining his activities during Intermission.  Oh no, not THIS bull!😱

For you see just after Act II began when things are SUPPOSED to be getting really serious in "Romeo And Juliet," RIGHT BY THE FENCE CLOSEST TO THE AUDIENCE the bull mounted his love interest!🤣  

Then the friggin bull began MOOING.  LOUDLY MOOOOOING!  EVERYONE including the actors were now focusing their attention on the BOVINE romance scene happening before them!💥

BOVINE BONKING had totally derailed our Shakespeare production!🤣

For most of the audience and our staff were not used to seeing these kinds of things unless you're Adelaide of course.😂

After the bonking the bull and his love interest for the moment finally ambled off together.

We thought surely nothing else could happen.  

But it did.

And then...AND THEN...right at the climatic moment near the end of "Romeo And Juliet," the winds REALLY began picking up.  A chauffeur of an elderly couple he worked for waiting in the car suddenly came running over.  Said the weather forecaster indicated a funnel cloud had been sighted nearby and we should take cover!😱

However this situation was having no effect on the 

bull I must say, as he was now bonking another cow.  I had never realized their "recovery" turnaround time 

in-between bonking was quite THAT fast.😂 

Anyway we got the audience members and ourselves under the only place we could take cover under in the middle of nowhere which happened to be the stage set.  Thankfully the set I designed included a stage about 4' above the ground so we all crammed beneath it for an eternity.  Aiden's parents for some reason thought this was an ideal time to introduce me to all their friends.

Luckily nothing but high winds happened and the set my intern and I constructed held up quite well.  Aiden's parents and their friends were very pleased.  But they were all a bit confused though as to just how the bonking bull became included into OUR version of "Romeo And Juliet."🙄

Aiden explained to all it was because OUR version was 

a modern one they were VERY privileged to get to see first...😂

We decided to all leave it at that.👏🎭😂🤣😂🎭👏

     The place where the most hilarious production of

"Romeo And Juliet" in theatre history ever happened.  You see, there just is no business like our beloved show business deep inside our souls.🤩🎭

Adelaide's Learning At Three...

Way before I ever even got to kindergarten age I had learned a lot.  I learned swear words.  You see my parents drank, partied, fought with each other constantly.  And swore A WHOLE LOT through all of that..  

So being the VERY receptive and talented three year old child I was all of those words became MY vocabulary too.  How could they not?  I heard them constantly.  And the violence never stopped.

My babysitter Mrs. Cassity, was an older lady I loved dearly who kept children in her home during the day.  

Since swear words were a regular part of my vocabulary they came out no matter where I was but never to be mean or anything like that.  

If the wood blocks castle thing I was building [future Theatre Scene Designer in the making, you see] came crashing down I would very calmly say, "Oh f**k, I'll have to do it all again."

Or, if a crayon broke [usually the black one because of all the horses I kept drawing], I would also very calmly say, "Oh SHIT, my f**king crayon just broke."  And if it was raining outside I would calmly make the important observation, "Oh damn, it's raining."  Then quite often I would tearfully share with Mrs. Cassity, "My Mommy and Daddy had a BIG f**king fight last night breaking shit and I couldn't sleep.  Please why can't I come live here?"

Unfortunately though it turned out the other kids there were just as receptive and talented as I was for they too began repeating all the new words they heard Adelaide saying their parents never said.  So your Adelaide at three was innocently corrupting two and three year old kids for life.

Thankfully though dear Mrs. Cassity and all the parents of the other talented kids understood I was only repeating the words I had to live with and did not punish me, which really would have been very confusing for a three year old as to why I was being punished for words I heard all the time.🥴 

She would instead let my father have it when he came to pick me up!  Sometimes the fathers of the other talented kids like myself would let my father have it too.

By the time I was four though, Mrs. Cassity had very gently, lovingly helped me understand the words were not nice words a child should say even if my parents said them all the time.  No doubt that dear lady saved me from not only being thrown out of kindergarten later but perhaps even a life of crime too!😂
 

Robert Fulghum wrote his best selling book years ago about the important lessons of living we begin learning at the tender age of four or five.  He even included a list of what he thought his young self may have thought important.

This is Adelaide's "version..."😃

Be nice to others.

Make friends. 
Horses are good for you.
Play.

Let others play too so they do not feel all alone.

Have fun.
And laugh.

Draw horses.
Hold hands and care.
Don't stare at others the ways I see others stare at me because it makes me cry inside my heart.
Say thank you if someone is nice wants to be your friend.
Cuss words and mean words are not very nice even if you have to hear them lots.
Big people fighting is very very scary.

Mine always fight and I don't know why.
If you are loved by a mommy and daddy it must feel good to be loved your mommy and daddy.

I know my mommy and daddy do not love me.

I do not know why.
Animals do not care what I look like.
Walk tall even if you're not tall.
Horses are good for you.

Horses do not make you cry the way people do.
Never lose wonder.

Wonder is a good thing.
Aplomb is a good thing too.
You're never too old for crayons if you draw horses.
Draw horses.
Smile at others...you will make them happy.
Gaze at the stars above.
Plunge forth and not back.
Have courage.
Love life.
Be kind. 

Be kind to horses too..
Give hugs.

Please give Adelaide hugs too.
Dance.
Love music.
Horses are good for you.

Horses are always good for you.

Adelaide loves you.

READERS...

My Dear Readers, I have been concerned about a mistake briefly made in a blog posted a few days ago and feel I should explain what happened because it matters to me.

I posted two brand new hilarious theatre stories, the last to share on the subject.  As many of you know I kept journals through the decades because I was constantly begged to put my stories in writing, as I finally have here with you.  If not for the many journals and loose pages documenting details and even most conversations, this blog would not exist for my many life experiences were far too vast to call upon with memory alone.

As my laptop is ancient, I can do less and less on it as Twitter & Blogger no longer handle my old version of Windows.  So this has forced me to use my Smartphone for everything, which believe me, is not always easy.  Even so, I manage...mostly.😳 

During these recent months with the huge Upheaval, things have really been crazy, and physical pain much worse.  When I manage to put out new blogs taken from my journals, to make the process easier using such a small device, I photo the page, then copy and paste it to the empty blog page I will be writing the piece on.  This helps me tremendously by having it right before me. 

This is what I did when writing up the two hilarious theatre pieces a few days ago.  The second of the two is the very funny "Band-aid" story, and if you have not had a chance to read it yet, please do as it could not be a more hilarious story for the final, personal theatre story to share here.

Now soon after the hilarious Band-aid event happened, I had to abruptly enter the hospital for my fourth spine surgery.  Though serious, it was less invasive than the previous three, as adhesions needed to be removed from the earlier spine surgeries.  Thankfully my recuperation time was not as long. 

While in hospital, Jeff, The Stage Manager in the Band-aids story, told me he wrote about what happened in a letter to friends, for this was still in the dark ages when people wrote letters on paper to each other. 

As I had not been able to get to my journals, I asked Jeff to send me a copy from the section of his letter telling the story.  This then found its way into being stuffed loosely in a old journal I recently rediscovered with the other story I shared.

Eventually, I too had written up the story from my perspective, but in more detail...especially after I saw what Jeff wrote!  He definitely was not a writer!🤣.  And HIS version was filled with F-bombs!🙄  When I asked him about that, he said it was because it was former high school friends he was writing to & they tended to equate working in theatre as being feminine, so he was writing the way he thought they expected him to sound...MANLY.🤪  

ANYWAY, when writing up my blog story about the event, I had copied & pasted Jeff's version too, though I did not really need it.  I had promised all of you I would be posting the second new funny blog that evening and I was in a huge rush to get it done. 

At the same time my cats were DEMANDING to be fed too. So in a hurry I posted the blog.  Then about three minutes later it suddenly hit me!  OMG!  I forgot to remove Jeff's version at the bottom!😨 

I immediately did, but saw one person had read it who I have alerted regarding my mistake.  Still, I have been concerned about anyone else having read the piece during those three minutes too that I am unaware of, so I decided I should just plunge in writing a READER Letter explaining this for all, if anyone else had read the piece with Jeff's crude retelling pasted at the bottom. 

The LAST thing I want is for anyone to ever think I plagiarized something when that DEFINITELY was not happening.  Just another set of a comedy of errors in the life of your Adelaide.🤣   

Again, your blog support means more than words can express my appreciation to you for.  My gratitude has no bounds.

As also promised recently, I have a behind the stage photo journey I am currently putting together for you, and a very special piece on Vaudeville I think you will really like.  These are my way to keep sharing new stuff with you.

Thank you for your patience and understanding, my dear ones.

Adelaide 

The Dance...

So I was in the city of Lexington recently to see one of my doctors for us to determine how alive I still am and with a bladder like mine must use the restroom often.  Which then brings us to the paper towel dispensers found in public bathrooms.  You know, the one with the magic sensors which release a section of paper towel?  That is assuming of course, one is tall enough for the sensor to recognize there is a hooman down here, which trust me they don't.🙄

At this point one has three options:

1.  Not wash hands  (NO WAY!)

2.  Wash hands and leave dripping (then quickly assure the doctor who warmly grabs your hand to greet you it's not pee making it wet)😂

3.  Do the Adelaide Dance👇

The Adelaide Dance involves one having the ability to execute some serious dance moves because after all the outcome is very important here.  While raising both arms in the air and waving them, dance wildly.  Move to the left.  Move to the right.  Close in on the sensor.  Back away.  Do a spin.  Jump up and down.  Repeat as necessary.  Can at times be successful however this process absolutely will not work if one dissolves into laughter.🤣

Now then, Public Toilets.  You know, the many now designed for wheelchair users?  Believe me for a wheelchair user these are a huge blessing I applaud.  For a still mobile Little Person these toilets are as high as the sky!  I am not kidding here folks, they nearly come up to my chest!😱

I have heard from other Little People some face these and climb on as one would climb a mountain.  But Public Toilets are very seldom clean ones.  NO WAY would I ever put my hands and clothing all over one to climb on like a mountain.🥴

So the only other alternative is to hopefully be a athletic Little Person capable of leaping from a car 
hood to the backs of her horses.  Only instead of leaping forwards, performing the hopping high to the sky leap of faith BACKwards.🙃

Quite often this endeavor was successful, however I imagine most of you probably do not realize just how large those seat openings are do you?  Well I do because those openings would come close to swallowing your Adelaide right up.  Rather down, I mean.  Not good, not good.  Especially if the seat is slippery and the toilet paper dispenser one grabs before sliding into the abyss comes off the wall.🥴

Thankfully nowadays an ingenious item got created.  It's a easy to carry with a handle fold up step stool made now which I am never without when in public.  However it doesn't help with motion sensors.😱

Now we come to automatic doors.  Automatic doors come with sensors too, with serious design flaws failing to recognize there is a hooman down here seeking to get in or out.  So they refuse to open.  Discreetly trying to be recognized by these never works.  And usually these doors have huge lobbies nearby where lots of people are seated thus providing the hooman with an audience who are quick to take notice of the free entertainment being provided for them while they are waiting for whatever they are waiting for.  Trust me, few ever get up to actually assist the damsel in distress desperately trying to get in or out.🙄  

So at this point, one has three options:

1.  Scream and use swear words (NO WAY!  Not becoming if an audience is present!)😱

2.  Wait (assuming one does not have a plane to catch) for someone to come along going through the same doors

3.  Do a different version of the Adelaide Dance than the one reserved for Paper Towel sensors👇

This version of the Adelaide Dance became created when I discovered where many automatic door sensors are located which is usually way higher than I am off to the right or left side.🙃

For this version of the Adelaide Dance one must execute some very good leaping towards the heavens and waving ones arms about facing to the right.  If this isn't successful it could either mean one failed to leap high enough, or wave ones arms correctly, or one needs to face left because the sensor is on the left rather than the right, then repeat the Dance.😂

If the Adelaide Dance fails and one has either a plane to catch or is in need of a restroom facility very quickly, try doing #2 because eventually someone will come along going the way you are allowing one to catch a ride on their height ability which activates the door sensor.  Should they become aware one is using said person's height ability to open the door do exuberantly thank 
them.😃👏

This actually happened to me once catching a flight to Seattle, and the man whose height ability I needed and exuberantly thanked him for wound up not only on the same flight but was seated next to me!  We had a very delightful visit in which he discovered I owned and galloped on horses, then...wait for it...🤣

"How DO you get ON your horses?!!"😂

So my dear ones, should you come across a height compromised hooman dancing and waving before anything with a motion sensor please kindly offer to extend your height abilities to assist them.🤣

A WARNING...

WARNING!  

Having a sense of humour along with a gratitude attitude has been found to be VERY hazardous to fear, despair, and negativity.

Desperation Hilarity...

We have all surely had these moments in our lives at one time or another and then if we haven't we must not be opening our mouths or signing with our hands very much.😂 

Because I am talking about all those folding up with embarrassment moments and the opening our mouths and inserting our foot moments.  And yes, yours truly has managed to have quite a few zingers along the 

way too.😳  

As the show must always go on even if the Scene Designer gets thrown into a hospital for a unexpected long time, the theatre I would be working for very understandably needed to hire a replacement to finish the season.  Then after I recovered from whatever surgery and long recovery, I had no choice but to find temporary work which was never a problem.  During those intervals I have helped veterans obtain their benefits, made signs for small businesses, did framing, worked for (in the offices of) horse farms or equine veterinarians, and even worked for a architectural firm painting what a building would look like to give clients a visual rendering beyond the hard to visualize plans staring at them.🙂

So this particular open-mouth-insert-foot event happened when I was working at the architectural firm.

The somewhat small firm was owned by a very dear husband and wife team employing approximately twenty-five men and two women, aside from the owners who were not there often.  

One day out of the blue the owners suddenly brought in a new Marketing Manager and wouldn't you know it was their daughter in-law.  In the first place we didn't even have a Marketing Manager position to begin with.  

Some of the guys were uncomfortable with this.  

Soon we ALL were very uncomfortable.😱

Unfortunately you see, Ms. Donna brought along with her a problem which immediately began affecting us.  For dear Ms. Donna had a body odor issue.  An intense one.  While the rest of us dressed comfortably, aside from me who dressed like a hippie, Ms. Donna who was also extremely haughty, dressed quite impeccably.  She wore expensive business suits with matching high heels.  And she constantly worried about her appearance.  

One day when she needed a ride to pick her car up that had been worked on everyone suddenly had excuses as to why they just could not give her a ride...except me.  I got caught off guard.  So I had to give her a ride in my car which contained two bales of hay, horse feed, grooming supplies, bridles, lead shanks, halters.  Ms. Donna then worried and fretted to no end driving us crazy fearing she smelled.  Like a horse.  To the point she rushed home, changed business suits and immediately took the one she had on to the cleaners.  

Believe me we would have all been very grateful IF SHE DID SMELL LIKE A HORSE after riding in my car but alas, she didn't.  No way.🥴

Something drastic had to be done.  Giving her perfume and fancy soaps on her birthday didn't work.  So all the guys, Miss Bailee, and I met after work one evening.  Right away the guys felt either Miss Bailee or I had to take this task on because we were of course women you see.  

Then the conversation went like this...

"Adelaide, we think you should be the one."

"ME?!!  Why ME?!!"

"Because you're so cute and the owners really like you.  Besides you have something in common with her."💫

"I don't have A THING in common with her!"🙄

"You're near the same age, and she nearly pees her pants laughing like the rest of us when you tell your funny horse, dwarf, or theatre stories!  She never even smiles at any of us."😱

"So please do it for all of us, Adelaide!  PLEASE?!!  We'll EVEN buy you a whole month's worth of horse feed if you do this!  PUH-LEEZE?!!"

They got me on the horse feed.😂

As soon as there was no chance of rain in the forecast so we could be outdoors for my sake, I reluctantly asked if Ms. Donna would have lunch with me at the park.

"Sure.  But I'll drive myself if you don't mind and you must drive yourself!"

"No, I don't mind!  Not at all!"  

I wasn't about to tell the poor woman how badly she smelled if I didn't have my car with me!🙄

At the park as we were nearly done eating with 

Ms. Donna at one end of the long table and I waaay at 

the other I asked, "Ms. Donna, have you ever had concerns expressed where you previously worked about body odor?"🤫

"No, why?  Are YOU having a problem with body odor, Adelaide?"  [Sometimes people are terribly slow about grasping what one is saying no matter how clearly one expresses it]🙄

"HELL NO!!!  I uh...ahem...mean NO.  But didn't ANYone ever express to you the fact YOU have a unpleasant smell?"😖

"Not exactly.  I never worked any place for very long.  I wear the best most expensive clothing yet people don't like me for some reason."🤪

"Uh, what do you mean by, 'Not exactly?'"🙃  

"Okay!  So I've been told I have body odor, can you believe that?!!  How rude people are!  After all I take my clothes to the cleaners each week and I bathe [once] every week too, so how could I possibly smell?!!"💥

"Ms. Donna, something is not working and there is no other way to try to put this.  You really smell.  And you smell downright awful.  You must be a very lovely person but it is so difficult to be around you no one can find this out.  Miss Bailee is getting calls from those you visit to promote the firm begging to please not have you ever return."😱

"How dare you talk to me this way!  I don't believe you!"

"Ms. Donna, I'm trying to tell you in the nicest way possible you flat out stink to high heaven.  Worse than cow manure.  Perhaps dog shit.  Even rotten eggs.  Probably not as bad as a skunk though..."

"I've never been so insulted, you...you..."

"Midget?  You've got to admit..."  

"I'm calling my in-laws!"

"...at least I'm not a stinking midget!"💥

I really tried so hard to use my best tact.  I really did.  Yet I think it all fell apart when I mentioned the shit, rotten eggs, and skunk bit to her.  Especially the skunk bit.🤫

Not surprisingly I received a call the next day from the owners who wanted me to come visit their home right away.😱  As I left my comrades in arms were preparing to revolt on my behalf.😃

I went to the mansion overlooking the river where the owners lived.

When they told me they were absolutely thrilled with me, I was speechless.🤣

The gist of it all was first, their beloved son blinded by love was immune to his wife's odor issue.  It was destroying the family.  They didn't know what to do.  Besides the woman couldn't hold any jobs due to this "problem."

But the owners had explicit faith in their employees.👍 

After Ms. Donna lost yet another job they created the "Marketing Manager" position [the sneaks] as a way to put Ms. Donna in our midst hoping WE could somehow put things into motion for what THEY were too afraid of trying to do themselves.  So in effect I then became THEIR catalyst.💥 

As they listened to the very excellent "tact" I used to make Ms. Donna aware of the situation the owners couldn't stop laughing.  Gave me a huge raise!  Said they were going to give the rest one too.😃

"Uh, may I please make a phone call right away?😳  

I need to stop a revolt from happening!"🤣

The owners had a long talk with their son and daughter in-law who finally acknowledged she had a problem.  Somehow it all got resolved, she got a brand new job and the last I heard was still working at the same place after many years odor free.👏

Amazing.  And all because of the very excellent tact I used...😂💥

NEW! The Certificate Behind Dr. Kopits In This Photo...

I have yet to mention this, but while the story of plunging into Dr. Kopits' life is fresh, there is a bit more to my stay in Baltimore those four weeks.  If you notice, there is an item in the frame in the upper right in the above photo of Dr. Kopits at his desk in his office.

Since I knew Kentucky Governors honoured Kentucky citizens recommended to them by letter of a person who could share how they were making positive differences in lives around them, I wondered if Maryland did the same.

So I called the Maryland Governor's Office and was told they did indeed honour citizens of the state too, depending upon the letter received as to why they should.

During those four weeks in Baltimore, when I was not being tested, getting MRI's, or blood transfusions, I had time on my hands.  Which for me then, was unusual. 

Not one to waste it, I went to work.

Because I knew all about Dr. Kopit's history and how his family had to flee Hitler, how he became a orthopaedic surgeon, then how he devoted his career to helping Little People, I had everything I needed, including photos I borrowed to tell his story.  

I told of the huge life changing differences he was making in the lives of Little People.  Then I had to tell MY life story and how we came to know one another.

Though we had only technically just met, I told the amazing story how I became his patient and a friend too. 

Then I mailed it hoping for the best.

During my last week in Maryland, I received a call that Dr. Kopits wanted to see me in his office immediately and could I please come?

We were waiting results on a test so I assumed it was about that and it could not be good if he needed to see me right away.

I was ushered right into Dr. Kopits' office.  He burst into tears as he held up the certificate from the Governor honoring him as Outstanding Citizen Of Maryland.  Then he showed me the letter the Governor wrote him.  The same Governor, who later personally welcomed me to the state when he saw the story how Patches and I were moving there.

And THEN the Governor included a copy of the letter I had written why Dr. Kopits should be honoured.

Dr. Kopits was profoundly touched.  Even more so by how I pulled it off in just those four weeks as ill as I was in between all the procedures.  He burst into tears.  So did his patient.  And then his staff.

He immediately had the certificate and letters framed to hang in a place of honour in his office behind his desk.

And that, my friends, is what you see in the upper right hand corner in the photo taken not long before he passed away.

I will forever be grateful I took the time to honour him, and that it would touch and brighten his life in the ways it did.

This is why we should always grab the brass ring moment, dear ones.  Especially when it can be a bright shining gift to someone who matters.

I realize I only just posted this piece about six weeks ago, but had this dear, beloved doctor and friend not succumbed to a brain tumor in 2002, he would have turned eighty-five years old today.  I am choking back a huge lump in my throat as I write this.  

Though it is still hard to believe Dr. Kopits is gone and not here to make laugh like crazy or be a friend to, it is hard for me to imagine him at eighty-five.  Yet NOT hard to still make laugh or share a special friendship with.

I miss him so.  As my health challenges become more tough and there are days I am having too hard to share with anyone, I will "hear" Dr. Kopits in his soft Hungarian accent, tenderly reminding me both he and Aiden are there.  Always.

And someday when that time comes where we are reunited with those we love somewhere, these two and so many more will be there waiting with hugs for me.

Happy Birthday, my dear Dr. Kopits!🐎🥰🐎

Dr. Steven Kopits (1936-2002)

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.    -Lao Tzu

The journey of a thousand miles actually begins with having the courage TO take that first single step.

There are approximately 200 types of dwarfism with Achondroplasia being the most common.  Almost all obviously affect the bone structure, cartilage, and connective tissues.

Eighty percent of us come from families with no history of dwarfism whatsoever, as in my case.

However the jury is still out on exactly which type 

of dwarfism I have though I certainly have some Achondroplasia characteristics.  In fact how I met 

Dr. Kopits was because I had an appointment to see 

his colleague, the dear geneticist Dr. McKusick at Johns-Hopkins.  

Though I recovered from the near death bleed out and paralysis during my most recent spine surgery at that time, I was having severe problems with plummeting blood counts.  My doctors were hoping if we could nail down which type of dwarfism I have we could possibly solve the blood count issues.  Also learn if other Little People had the same problem.  

The only thing was though I had just been in the hospital for months while learning to walk again; missed work all that time and gone through what savings I had.  I didn't even know yet how I was going 

to GET to Baltimore and stay for one day and two nights.  

Yet with a courageous leap of faith I took that single step anyway and made the arrangements needed.  

The next day I found a envelope someone put under 

my door.  An dear anonymous donor provided the 

airline ticket and the money to cover the room near Johns-Hopkins.

Dr. Kopits was such an extraordinary doctor for Little People he had a waiting list of one to two years.  When I scheduled my appointment for Dr. McKusick, I learned it just happened to be a day Dr. Kopits was at Johns-Hopkins seeing patients.  I was hopeful to simply just meet him as I heard so much about him.

I flew to Baltimore and saw Dr. McKusick early the next morning.  As soon as Dr. McKusick saw me he became VERY excited.  He immediately noticed my hands, feet, and longish extremities.  I had no way to know I was such a "unique" Little Person until then.  Besides being on the "tall" side of dwarfism he pointed out to me how my hands and feet are average size.  I can wear regular shoes.  Many Little People cannot.  Sadly many Little People also have such malformed hands and extremities, their lives are far more challenging than mine and my heart aches for them.  

Dr. McKusick flipped out when he learned I play the piano, am a artist, and Theatre Scene Designer.  And then...AND THEN...when he learned I own and ride horses his jaw dropped.  At that point he suddenly got up, grabbed my hand and literally began dragging me 

(I had to go with my hand) for his colleagues to see.  And you guessed it...one of those just happened to be Dr. Kopits.

"Steven!  Look!  Look at her hands!  And her feet!"  

Dr. McKusick said.  "She plays the piano and she's an artist!  And...AND SHE EVEN OWNS AND GALLOPS ON HORSES BAREBACK!"

Before Dr. McKusick dragged me on I managed to blurt

out to Dr. Kopits with laughter, "I had hoped to...oops!  Gotta go!  So happy to get to meet youuu!"

Dear sweet Dr. McKusick...when he completed his impromptu show and tell had me sit down for a moment in the busy corridor while he went to make some phone calls about my "uniqueness."  As he walked away Dr. Kopits rushed over to speak with him.

Afterwards Dr. Kopits came to ME asking if he could take me on as a patient, and would I be willing to wait 

to see him after he finished with all his other patients.  WOW...like I had anywhere ELSE to go?!!  "Yes!"

We had this conversation around 9:15 A.M.  I was his last patient and finally saw him around 7:30 P.M.  One of the first questions he asked was, "Please tell me, HOW do you get ON your horse?!!"

He had all my records and could not believe I was able to walk again following the bleed out and hematoma paralysis of my recent spine surgery.  With his nurse 

he spent over an hour with me.  We also discussed the new spine pain I was experiencing, which turned out to be the two severe spinal cord inflammation diseases.

Dr. Kopits asked if I could remain in Baltimore for at least four weeks.  Financially I told him there was no way I possibly could.  He said, "Wait a moment," and made a call.

Where Dr. Kopits was staffed at the hospital in Towson, Maryland, the hospital had a Ronald McDonald kind of house on the property just for the patients and families of Dr. Kopits.  He secured a room for me.

Since neither Dr. Kopits, his nurse, or myself had eaten all day he wanted to take us out to eat.  Hours earlier I wasn't even his patient...hadn't even met him before and with his nurse I had been asked to join him for dinner!  All because I took a step of courage.

The specially designed House I stayed in had low sinks, toilets, bathtubs, etc. just for a Little Person 3' tall.  It was amazing.  I had to actually get on my knees when at the sink!  For the first time in my entire life I felt what it was like to be "tall."

My first Saturday in Baltimore Dr. Kopits unexpectedly came by.  Said he realized I would need things in the weeks ahead then took me to a grocery store and bought what I needed!  Afterwards when he told me he hadn't ever seen The Preakness horse race which was about to start, I then kindly responded, "NO WAY!  What planet have you been living on, Dr. Kopits?!!"

So for the first time in his life in his own city, Dr. Kopits 

sat down and watched The Preakness with his horse crazy patient.  However my efforts to forever convert the man to horses never took off though, but I really did give it my all through the years.

During those four weeks I was seen by many doctors including a renown hematologist, neurosurgeon, and underwent many tests.  

One in particular not only revealed the inflammation diseases but the severity of them.  They were all quite astounded by just how severe things were.  Said they had never seen anything as terrible.  Yet were further astounded by the ways I continued to press on grabbing life in my career, friends, and horses.

My blood counts were way out of control necessitating more transfusions while I was there.  This is when Dr. Kopits asked if I could move to Maryland.  There was no doubt my physical future would be a very daunting one at the very least and it grieved him terribly.

He was a dear man...an incredible man, and a very gifted orthopaedic surgeon who deeply cared about all his patients and was beloved by all.  Sadly in 2002, after a courageous fight Dr. Kopits succumbed to a brain tumor the year before I lost Aiden.  Dr. Kopits had been so excited about the two of us marrying he insisted on walking me down the aisle to "give me" to Aiden for our wedding.  We were absolutely thrilled.

If I did not have the courage to take that step of a thousand miles to make it to Baltimore I never would have known many things about my medical journey.  Most of all I never would have known such an amazing doctor...and a dear friend. 

Embrace courage my dear ones, to take that single step

for you just never know what wonders can unfold in your journey when you do.🐎💫

                                    Dr. Kopits, 2001