The Sinking Stage...

The following theatre pieces for today, then tomorrow 

(the last theatre related stories from my journey, I promise!) I share here found on loose pages in one of my ancient journals, will hopefully bring laughter and touch hearts for yet another "performance."  For there just...is...no business like Show Business.🥰🎭

Now and then I could encounter those VERY rare instances in my long Theatre Scene Designing career when a Theatre Executive Director, the Artistic Director, AND the Director of a play would come up with what THEY thought was the best set design in Theatre History.  All without consulting with the Scene Designer herself first to see if it were even possible.

Many things must first be factored in when making decisions on a theatre set before constructing it.  One very important one is will it even work in the theatre the set will be constructed in, because many theatres are not only old but they may have complicated layouts to be worked around.

Now there is a type of set that can be a nightmare for Scene Designers called The Rotating Set...a TWO SIDED Rotating Set...with two different scenes on each side.

With the right play in a large theatre with money, these can work nicely.  However the theatre where I had The Three Stooges to deal with, was a charming little wonderful, old, not a lot of money theatre.

Though the Lighting Designer and I both tried to make our Three Stooges see this, alas, they would not, for their hearts were set upon The Rotating Set.  Not even when I explained the sheer weight of a TWO SIDED set built upon our ancient little stage could overwhelm it.

I tried.  I did manage to make the three sign a statement from me listing why The Rotating Set could fail despite my best efforts.  I was not about to get blamed for a disaster they insisted on!🤣

For this play, one side of The Rotating Set was a home scene, while the other side was a therapist's office like my Three Stooges were in need of following Opening Night. 

Did I say yet our Rotating Set would have to be pushed by a Stage Crew between the scenes?🙃🎭

So my Intern and I constructed the Rotating Set.  Since the Three Stooges insisted upon lots of furniture for both scenes, we HAD to add a support beam under the whole thing, because the furniture and actors weighed down the set, making the stage creak louder and louder.

On the night of Dress Rehearsal I am summoned by the Stooges.

"Adelaide, we found a larger desk we want for the therapists office."

"HOW large?!!"

"Not much.  It adds finesse."

So I see The Desk With Finesse.  It's as big as the one in the Oval Office, I am not kidding.  SIX guys had to move it onto the Rotating Set.🙄

Not good, not good.

Whenever the Rotating Set was turned during Dress Rehearsal it GROANED, and I mean, GROANED, as did the stage.😬

Opening Night.  Everyone except the Three Stooges were anxious.  The Three Stooges should have been anxious.🤔

It was during Act II the chain of events happened, when the therapist's office needed to be stage front again.  I was in the wings not looking while cringing at the groaning sound as the therapist's office began sinking lower...and lower.  

Suddenly the weight of the desk broke through the Rotating Set, but not the support beam...at first.  The rolling chair the therapist was seated in went rolling off the Rotating Set, then right to stage front, smashed a few stage lights then sent the screaming therapist flying into the Orchestra Pit as a very quick thinking percussionist managed to just save the drums, but not himself.  For the therapist landed right smack upon the percussionist.🤣

By now the audience was drowning in laughter.  Everyone was...uh...except for The Three Stooges and the Theatre Board Members present.  One of the Board Members demanded to know who was responsible.  As those Three Stooges turned toward me, the Board President rushed on stage with a piece of paper in his hand and my young Intern right behind him.

"Well I can tell all of you one thing, Adelaide certainly is not responsible for this mess and did everything she could to dissuade these Three Stoo...ahem...these three from insisting upon proceeding with this disaster!"

This is when my Intern spoke up.  "Adelaide, please meet my Dad, the Board President.  My parents were concerned everyone would be uncomfortable around me or give me special treatment knowing the Board President is my father, so they had me use my Mom's maiden name" to apply for my Scene Design Internship here.  My professors at University Of Maryland highly recommended you."

"Our son constantly brags about working with you!"

I was staggered.

Then we remembered we had a sellout audience sitting behind us.😳

The Board President addressed them.  He told the audience new tickets would be issued for the following week for the new Official Opening Night. Explained a whole new set may need to be constructed and the stage repaired.

With the Board President's help a construction crew were put to work under my Intern and I all that week.  We redesigned the set, changed the therapist's massive desk and had everything ready by the new Opening Night.

It was beautiful.  On the new Opening Night before the play began, the Actors, Designers, Backstage Crew, the Board, and the guys who made the new Opening Night possible, all stood on the stage hand in hand as the audience sang with us a rousing heartfelt rendition of that beloved Theatre Anthem of ours, "There's No Business Like Show Business."🎭

And trust me, there really IS no business like Show Business.🎭😃🎭 💫