Life is a stage,
So learn to play your part,
Keep your head held high,
And learn to bear its sorrows.
Palladius
Through the years I worked on many Theatre stages, from large famous ones to very small ones. That Theatre has been such a wonderful constant in my life, is symbolic in a sense. For you see, I have often found myself being an inspiration to others, quite unaware I was, upon the challenging stage my journey is on.
Twice I was told I wouldn't be able to walk again. Twice, I didn't listen. Earlier, I shared with you the second time this happened.
The first time I was only nineteen.
Ten hours into the surgery my neurosurgeons and orthopaedic surgeons ran into complications, through no fault of theirs. Seven hours later they were done. The next day, in ICU they were anxious to see if I had any movement in my legs, and asked me to move them. Nothing happened.
I had a horse. I was in school, and worked. My artwork was selling. I had a life. Obviously, I would have adjusted to being paralyzed, but I wasn't ready to give up hope yet. I kept focusing on my legs, and wouldn't let go of what it was like to ride or dance. Then I heard about a six mile marathon scheduled for July 4th...two months away. I had this crazy idea to at least be able to do the last mile of it...walking. On my own.
My surgeon kindly reminded me, "But you can't move your legs!"
"No shit," I said. "But I'm going to! Watch me."
The ward I was on did not have any other young people at the time. The other patients were up in age, recovering from hip or knee surgeries. And some WERE indeed watching ME.
Slowly...ever so slowly...my toes, feet, legs began getting movement. I was pouring everything into them to make them move. My doctors were astounded.
One day my surgeon suddenly took me down to Physical Therapy. He positioned me at one end of the parallel bars so I could hold onto them. He thought at best I would manage one or two steps. I managed to go all the way to the other end, and return. He couldn't believe it! However, it wasn't as easy as it sounds.
For getting myself from one end of the parallel bars and back was very painful, exhausting, and tough. But I did it! Shuffling, but I did it!
Soon after, I progressed enough to be allowed to get in and out of bed on my own.
My Physical Therapist measured how many rounds of the 6th floor it would take to make a mile. Four rounds made 1/4 of a mile, so 16 rounds were needed each day.
I was on it!
Finally the big day came. I was still shuffling but could hold my own...on the 6th Floor, but could I on the outside?
My doctors, some nurses, and various other hospital staff were there too.
And someone else.
Mr. Rothschild, who had been on the ward across the hall from me, was recovering from a painful knee surgery. He told my doctors and I later, he was very depressed after his surgery, and was terrified of the pain...to the point of giving up.
He heard me refusing to give up, then witnessed me struggling to do those 6th Floor rounds. Mr. Rothschild thought if someone like me with so much wrong who was not giving up despite all my challenges, he certainly could too.
Together, we did that mile and were applauded.
You see, we just never know who is about to be inspired by the way we are playing our part and keeping our head held high on the tough stage of life.
Hold courage, my friends, and keep your head held high out there.😃
Tuesday, March 31, 2020
When Patches was off to Maryland...
Several weeks after The Ride Patches and I did which endeared us to thousands, it was time for us to
be on our way to Maryland. One of the donations, was Sallee Horse Transportation of free transport
for Patches to Maryland, with a future return to Kentucky if and when needed.
As touched on in previous blogs, I had raised Patches from a tiny foal, and we were very close. Due to the extraordinary ways the public became so inspired and touched by our story with all the media coverage, two television stations wanted to be there when Patches would leave first...then I would follow the next day in my car.
So there was quite a crowd when Sallee Horse Transportation arrived. Only they didn't send just
any small van. They sent a HUGE semi-truck size horse van! And due to its size, the road had to be closed by police, since the van was so huge it couldn't fit in the gate of the place where I had Patches...the farm with the miniature horses.
The same two policemen who escorted Patches and I during The Ride insisted upon being there to help this day too.
Unbelievably, Patches would be the only horse in that truck! The whole truck just for Patches! With the crowd watching and the television cameras rolling, it was time for me to bring Patches down the tree shaded lane. Everything became suddenly quiet. As Patches and I neared the ramp leading inside the truck, the driver met us, and asked for Patches' lead shank. He explained only drivers were allowed to load horses, so I complied.
As the driver began leading Patches up the ramp, Patches suddenly realized I wasn't leading him and slammed to a stop, jerking his head around to look at me. When he did, I realized there was a huge lump in my throat.🥺
Patches wasn't about to move. At that moment the farm owner said to the driver, "Uh, sir, Patches is not going up that ramp without Adelaide by his side."
The driver began to say something about company policy when our two policemen stepped forward. They said the responsibility would be theirs if anything happened, but nothing would because they had traveled with us those ten miles witnessing the bond we shared. So Sam, the driver, handed the lead shank back to me.
Without a problem, I led Patches into the van, and Sam, helped me get Patches situated in a small stall, with hay and water. I sent his bucket and lead shank on for the farm in Maryland. They too, were located on a small road and Sam had to park a long way from their farm. Patches arrived there at 3am! So in the dark, in strange hands, and in a strange place, Patches was led to his new farm. I was SO proud to hear how well he handled it, and how everyone had already fallen in love with him!
Very early that same morning I too, left Kentucky for Maryland...a twelve hour drive. I drove straight to the farm. It was pitch dark. I could barely make out what appeared to be a barn roof. Then I softly called Patches' name and immediately heard him respond. So back and forth we went until I felt my way to his stall. He was SO happy to "see" me, that he kept rubbing his head up and down me.
So Adelaide, horse, cat, and goldfish had arrived in Maryland...on the wings of the thousands who were deeply touched and inspired by our story. And it was far from over.😃
be on our way to Maryland. One of the donations, was Sallee Horse Transportation of free transport
for Patches to Maryland, with a future return to Kentucky if and when needed.
As touched on in previous blogs, I had raised Patches from a tiny foal, and we were very close. Due to the extraordinary ways the public became so inspired and touched by our story with all the media coverage, two television stations wanted to be there when Patches would leave first...then I would follow the next day in my car.
So there was quite a crowd when Sallee Horse Transportation arrived. Only they didn't send just
any small van. They sent a HUGE semi-truck size horse van! And due to its size, the road had to be closed by police, since the van was so huge it couldn't fit in the gate of the place where I had Patches...the farm with the miniature horses.
The same two policemen who escorted Patches and I during The Ride insisted upon being there to help this day too.
Unbelievably, Patches would be the only horse in that truck! The whole truck just for Patches! With the crowd watching and the television cameras rolling, it was time for me to bring Patches down the tree shaded lane. Everything became suddenly quiet. As Patches and I neared the ramp leading inside the truck, the driver met us, and asked for Patches' lead shank. He explained only drivers were allowed to load horses, so I complied.
As the driver began leading Patches up the ramp, Patches suddenly realized I wasn't leading him and slammed to a stop, jerking his head around to look at me. When he did, I realized there was a huge lump in my throat.🥺
Patches wasn't about to move. At that moment the farm owner said to the driver, "Uh, sir, Patches is not going up that ramp without Adelaide by his side."
The driver began to say something about company policy when our two policemen stepped forward. They said the responsibility would be theirs if anything happened, but nothing would because they had traveled with us those ten miles witnessing the bond we shared. So Sam, the driver, handed the lead shank back to me.
Without a problem, I led Patches into the van, and Sam, helped me get Patches situated in a small stall, with hay and water. I sent his bucket and lead shank on for the farm in Maryland. They too, were located on a small road and Sam had to park a long way from their farm. Patches arrived there at 3am! So in the dark, in strange hands, and in a strange place, Patches was led to his new farm. I was SO proud to hear how well he handled it, and how everyone had already fallen in love with him!
Very early that same morning I too, left Kentucky for Maryland...a twelve hour drive. I drove straight to the farm. It was pitch dark. I could barely make out what appeared to be a barn roof. Then I softly called Patches' name and immediately heard him respond. So back and forth we went until I felt my way to his stall. He was SO happy to "see" me, that he kept rubbing his head up and down me.
So Adelaide, horse, cat, and goldfish had arrived in Maryland...on the wings of the thousands who were deeply touched and inspired by our story. And it was far from over.😃
Readers update...
My dear readers,
First, I again hope and pray all of you, your friends and loved ones are staying strong and keeping well.
I need to give an update to you since the one last week. My primary doctor is out with the Coronavirus, bless his heart.
Because my bladder is barely functioning, I keep having a reoccurring urinary infection which can rapidly escalate if I don't get on an antibiotic. It took several days before the nurse could get one approved without my having to see anyone. I was not able to get it until yesterday.
Though my condition and intense bouts of nausea have worsened and will get more worse before the antibiotic works, I remain strong.
These are some very tough, uncertain times we are all living, my dear ones. For many, I know life these days and its challenges are very difficult.
We are connected by this blog, and because of you I continue. In some way I hope my words each day brighten your days wherever you are and give courage.
My hand is in your hand with appreciation,
Adelaide
First, I again hope and pray all of you, your friends and loved ones are staying strong and keeping well.
I need to give an update to you since the one last week. My primary doctor is out with the Coronavirus, bless his heart.
Because my bladder is barely functioning, I keep having a reoccurring urinary infection which can rapidly escalate if I don't get on an antibiotic. It took several days before the nurse could get one approved without my having to see anyone. I was not able to get it until yesterday.
Though my condition and intense bouts of nausea have worsened and will get more worse before the antibiotic works, I remain strong.
These are some very tough, uncertain times we are all living, my dear ones. For many, I know life these days and its challenges are very difficult.
We are connected by this blog, and because of you I continue. In some way I hope my words each day brighten your days wherever you are and give courage.
My hand is in your hand with appreciation,
Adelaide
Sunday, March 29, 2020
The funniest Baptism...in...history...
Though my family did not go to church, from early childhood on, I believed in God and treasure a loving God as I believe Him to be.
At age nineteen I began going to a dear church in the country, and was baptized. It really was a very profound experience...but...BUT...sometimes the most hilarious unexpected things can happen to me. Remember this...I am very buoyant in water.
I had become close friends with the pastor and his family, for we were the same age, and in school with many expenses. Often on Sunday nights I would join them for fried egg and ketchup sandwiches while we shared hopes, tears, laughter, and dreams.
Several others were being baptized the same day I was, with a packed church. This was a full immersion baptism, so the water was 3' deep. I LOVE WATER. Oceans, swimming pools, lakes, creeks, I am in!
The church had just gotten new white baptism robes...mine being 7" longer than me. And did I say I am very buoyant in water?
I was last. I gathered as much of the excess robe in my hand as I could and stepped in...before the packed church watching, including my dear friend Jackie, who could laugh loud...really loud.
When I reached bottom the water quickly made me pop up like a cork, as a HUGE expanse of white material began rising to the top.
By this time I was floating and trying to look in control at the same time. Ron could immediately see we were rapidly losing control...both in the water, and trying not to laugh. Nevertheless, we had to continue. He managed to guide me over to him, and asked the right questions I responded to, and then...AND THEN...came the moment to dip my head beneath the water by laying me backwards...not good. Remember I am very buoyant now with a HUGE expanse of white robe?
Ron laid me back and before he could react my legs went flying out of the water straight up in the air. By the way, I should say I thankfully did have a bathing suit on.
He first had to raise my head back up, then quickly managed to put my legs back down, but white robe material was everywhere floating and I had to grab onto him to keep from popping out again.
So much for being in control. We lost it.
Just as Ron and I thought we were getting some semblance of control and dignity, we could first hear Jackie trying to stifle her unique loud laugh, followed by others who were losing it. Then WE began losing it. And this was a baptism! I could only hope God was enjoying this. He had to be falling over laughing up there.
As Ron kept me from popping out of the water, he carefully pushed me to the other side to get out. It didn't end there though. Remember the expanse of robe? As I was climbing out and reached the step before the top, part of the robe got caught on a nail sticking out and I got stuck. So as poor Ron was trying to seriously speak to the congregation, out of the corner of his eye he could see I was stuck....good and stuck. Not only that, he could tell I was totally dissolved in laughter.
Jackie said they could tell something else crazy had happened.
Bless his heart though, somehow he was able to quickly wrap up what he was saying. Only he couldn't exit my way because I was still partly in the water and stuck on a nail. He had to go the other way then hurry around to help me get out, but it was difficult you see. We were both in hysterics. And he still had to deliver a sermon!
We finally got me out and he went on his way. With all that wet robe I somehow made it to the change area. I realized it was best not to join Jackie and the congregation, until after the service. With good reason. Everyone would have lost all control, bursting into laughter.
That had to be the funniest baptism in history. Jackie said it could only happen to me.
Ohhh, yes!
Decades later I heard they were still laughing about that baptism.
At age nineteen I began going to a dear church in the country, and was baptized. It really was a very profound experience...but...BUT...sometimes the most hilarious unexpected things can happen to me. Remember this...I am very buoyant in water.
I had become close friends with the pastor and his family, for we were the same age, and in school with many expenses. Often on Sunday nights I would join them for fried egg and ketchup sandwiches while we shared hopes, tears, laughter, and dreams.
Several others were being baptized the same day I was, with a packed church. This was a full immersion baptism, so the water was 3' deep. I LOVE WATER. Oceans, swimming pools, lakes, creeks, I am in!
The church had just gotten new white baptism robes...mine being 7" longer than me. And did I say I am very buoyant in water?
I was last. I gathered as much of the excess robe in my hand as I could and stepped in...before the packed church watching, including my dear friend Jackie, who could laugh loud...really loud.
When I reached bottom the water quickly made me pop up like a cork, as a HUGE expanse of white material began rising to the top.
By this time I was floating and trying to look in control at the same time. Ron could immediately see we were rapidly losing control...both in the water, and trying not to laugh. Nevertheless, we had to continue. He managed to guide me over to him, and asked the right questions I responded to, and then...AND THEN...came the moment to dip my head beneath the water by laying me backwards...not good. Remember I am very buoyant now with a HUGE expanse of white robe?
Ron laid me back and before he could react my legs went flying out of the water straight up in the air. By the way, I should say I thankfully did have a bathing suit on.
He first had to raise my head back up, then quickly managed to put my legs back down, but white robe material was everywhere floating and I had to grab onto him to keep from popping out again.
So much for being in control. We lost it.
Just as Ron and I thought we were getting some semblance of control and dignity, we could first hear Jackie trying to stifle her unique loud laugh, followed by others who were losing it. Then WE began losing it. And this was a baptism! I could only hope God was enjoying this. He had to be falling over laughing up there.
As Ron kept me from popping out of the water, he carefully pushed me to the other side to get out. It didn't end there though. Remember the expanse of robe? As I was climbing out and reached the step before the top, part of the robe got caught on a nail sticking out and I got stuck. So as poor Ron was trying to seriously speak to the congregation, out of the corner of his eye he could see I was stuck....good and stuck. Not only that, he could tell I was totally dissolved in laughter.
Jackie said they could tell something else crazy had happened.
Bless his heart though, somehow he was able to quickly wrap up what he was saying. Only he couldn't exit my way because I was still partly in the water and stuck on a nail. He had to go the other way then hurry around to help me get out, but it was difficult you see. We were both in hysterics. And he still had to deliver a sermon!
We finally got me out and he went on his way. With all that wet robe I somehow made it to the change area. I realized it was best not to join Jackie and the congregation, until after the service. With good reason. Everyone would have lost all control, bursting into laughter.
That had to be the funniest baptism in history. Jackie said it could only happen to me.
Ohhh, yes!
Decades later I heard they were still laughing about that baptism.
Saturday, March 28, 2020
Look well, therefore to this day...
Look well to this day,
For it is life, the very life of life.
In its brief course lies all the realities
and verities of existence...
The bliss of growth,
The splendor of action,
The glory of power.
For yesterday is but a memory,
And tomorrow, a vision.
But today, well lived,
Makes every yesterday a dream of happiness,
And every tomorrow, a vision of hope.
Look well, therefore, to this day.
‐‐‐‐The Sanskrit Proverb
For it is life, the very life of life.
In its brief course lies all the realities
and verities of existence...
The bliss of growth,
The splendor of action,
The glory of power.
For yesterday is but a memory,
And tomorrow, a vision.
But today, well lived,
Makes every yesterday a dream of happiness,
And every tomorrow, a vision of hope.
Look well, therefore, to this day.
‐‐‐‐The Sanskrit Proverb
Self discovery...
I share this with you, my dear readers, with hope this may be of help to you if needed...especially during such challenging days as we have now, when isolation can make us wonder where we are in our lives...where our inner self really is...so this may be one of the most important things you have ever read...
For you see, there are periods in our lives when we may find ourselves wondering who we are and where we're going...trying to understand our inner selves. And usually our revelations of gaining a deeper understanding of ourselves comes on the wings of facing the greatest challenges we may have. Like when the realities of our journeys are darkest.
By the time I reached my forties, years had passed since Patches and I had done The Ride. I had been dealing with the terribly painful spinal cord disease nothing could be done for. No one knew how much worse it was going to become other than it would become VERY worse. And though two rounds of bone marrow treatments helped my plummeting blood counts, transfusions were still needed. Then the first bout of cancer I had involved three surgeries on my left foot due to a cancerous tumor found within. So I was still having one surgery after another...with many more yet to follow. My nature though is not to dwell on these things, yet keep embracing the fight of my present, pouring as much enthusiasm into living as possible with gratitude. And of course I still had Patches too.😃
However I hit a place where I wasn't depressed, but because I continually had to surmount so many tough challenges since I was a young child, I suddenly realized I was tired...and I didn't really know myself. I hadn't had a chance to. I knew I was a fighter...full of love, a sense of humor, an artist, horse lover with spunk. Yet beyond those?
Full self understanding eludes us all no matter who we are...until we reach a place within where we want TO understand our inner selves and to seek help, but how? Where?
I found mine in my beloved book, "A Touch Of Wonder," by Arthur Gordon, I have often referred to here. You see, Mr. Gordon had also found himself at this same exact place, only he was REALLY struggling with it, for he was depressed. One does not have to be severely challenged to feel this way. Or be a Little Person.
To keep this from getting too long, I will be paraphrasing...
Mr Gordon went to his old small town doctor, and poured out his struggle. The doctor, a wise perceptive man asked where he was happiest in his life. For him, it was the beach near them. At that, the doctor took out his prescription book, wrote out four prescriptions, folded them, and told Mr. Gordon to pack a lunch and go to the beach the next day by 9am. Then he was to look at one of the scripts every three hours. [So I went to the beautiful farm where I had Patches with my "A Touch Of Wonder," book in hand.]
The first prescription had the words, "Listen Carefully." Mr. Gordon climbed a sand dune. He realized there were tiny sounds below the larger ones, if he listened carefully by sticking his head into the sea grasses. [So I stuck my head into field grass as Patches chomped on grass nearby.]
Mr. Gordon realized if you truly listen to something outside of yourself, and silence the clamorous voices and noise within, the mind rests. Then, as he gazed upon the ocean, he began thinking of the immensity of it. [I lay on my back and gazed up at the vast sky.] Mr. Gordon realized that by thinking of all the natural things like oceans [and sky] bigger than us, there is a sense of peacefulness to hold onto. [Like a separate peace.]
At noon Mr. Gordon took out the next prescription, and it said, "Try Reaching Back." "Back to what?" he wondered at first, then realized it was his past obviously. Yet because the doctor had Mr. Gordon go to his most "happy place" (the beach), in his life, he realized the doctor meant for him to focus on happy memories. Positive memories. So he lay down in the warm sand. [I laid down near Patches again in the warm field grass.] By deliberately reaching back holding his happiness places, Mr. Gordon realized little flashes of power...tiny sources of inner strength came forth. [When I did this, for the first time in my life, I suddenly grabbed hold of all the many special "happiness places and people" interspersed throughout my unhappy childhood I had kept buried with the unhappiness. Several of which have been shared here. This was big for me.] As he remembered, he felt a sudden glow of warmth within.
The next three words were more like a command: "Examine Your Motives." At first he felt a bit defensive, saying to himself, "What's wrong with wanting to be a success, or having a certain amount of recognition?" Then his inner voice he had reawakened spoke, "Maybe those motives alone are not enough."
Suddenly Mr. Gordon realized his writing, and much of his life had lost it's spontaneity. He realized his sense of giving something, of inspiring people, had been lost at a almost frantic clutch for security. If one's motives are wrong, we can lose our way. [I realized how much my life had been spent fighting the challenges of dwarfism, with a very sad and often violent childhood, and then all the many years of never ending physical battles. My fierce determination to plunge back into life so hard when free from hospitals became my motives to keep rising above the challenges. I never knew my inner self because I was trying so hard to keep surviving.]
"Examine Your Motives," Mr. Gordon thought, was the hard part of the "treatment." This challenge
to reappraise, was meant to bring one's motives into alignment with one's inner self and being. But the mind must first be clear and receptive to do this, thus the quiet self discovery with the first two prescriptions.
Mr. Gordon recognized the powerful therapeutic progression in these words the doctor prescribed, and their value to anyone facing difficulty, or seeking self discovery. Finally, as he walked across the beach, he read the words on the final prescription: "Write Your Worries In The Sand." So kneeling in the sand, he wrote the words, one after another. [Since I obviously was not at a beach, yet being a typical artist, had brought a sketchbook and pencils with me, I wrote mine down.] Then Mr. Gordon turned and walked away from the troubles he wrote in the sand, knowing the tide would soon come in and wash them away. [I tore the page I had written mine on into tiny pieces, then let the wind blow them away. I found myself.]
For you see, there are periods in our lives when we may find ourselves wondering who we are and where we're going...trying to understand our inner selves. And usually our revelations of gaining a deeper understanding of ourselves comes on the wings of facing the greatest challenges we may have. Like when the realities of our journeys are darkest.
By the time I reached my forties, years had passed since Patches and I had done The Ride. I had been dealing with the terribly painful spinal cord disease nothing could be done for. No one knew how much worse it was going to become other than it would become VERY worse. And though two rounds of bone marrow treatments helped my plummeting blood counts, transfusions were still needed. Then the first bout of cancer I had involved three surgeries on my left foot due to a cancerous tumor found within. So I was still having one surgery after another...with many more yet to follow. My nature though is not to dwell on these things, yet keep embracing the fight of my present, pouring as much enthusiasm into living as possible with gratitude. And of course I still had Patches too.😃
However I hit a place where I wasn't depressed, but because I continually had to surmount so many tough challenges since I was a young child, I suddenly realized I was tired...and I didn't really know myself. I hadn't had a chance to. I knew I was a fighter...full of love, a sense of humor, an artist, horse lover with spunk. Yet beyond those?
Full self understanding eludes us all no matter who we are...until we reach a place within where we want TO understand our inner selves and to seek help, but how? Where?
I found mine in my beloved book, "A Touch Of Wonder," by Arthur Gordon, I have often referred to here. You see, Mr. Gordon had also found himself at this same exact place, only he was REALLY struggling with it, for he was depressed. One does not have to be severely challenged to feel this way. Or be a Little Person.
To keep this from getting too long, I will be paraphrasing...
Mr Gordon went to his old small town doctor, and poured out his struggle. The doctor, a wise perceptive man asked where he was happiest in his life. For him, it was the beach near them. At that, the doctor took out his prescription book, wrote out four prescriptions, folded them, and told Mr. Gordon to pack a lunch and go to the beach the next day by 9am. Then he was to look at one of the scripts every three hours. [So I went to the beautiful farm where I had Patches with my "A Touch Of Wonder," book in hand.]
The first prescription had the words, "Listen Carefully." Mr. Gordon climbed a sand dune. He realized there were tiny sounds below the larger ones, if he listened carefully by sticking his head into the sea grasses. [So I stuck my head into field grass as Patches chomped on grass nearby.]
Mr. Gordon realized if you truly listen to something outside of yourself, and silence the clamorous voices and noise within, the mind rests. Then, as he gazed upon the ocean, he began thinking of the immensity of it. [I lay on my back and gazed up at the vast sky.] Mr. Gordon realized that by thinking of all the natural things like oceans [and sky] bigger than us, there is a sense of peacefulness to hold onto. [Like a separate peace.]
At noon Mr. Gordon took out the next prescription, and it said, "Try Reaching Back." "Back to what?" he wondered at first, then realized it was his past obviously. Yet because the doctor had Mr. Gordon go to his most "happy place" (the beach), in his life, he realized the doctor meant for him to focus on happy memories. Positive memories. So he lay down in the warm sand. [I laid down near Patches again in the warm field grass.] By deliberately reaching back holding his happiness places, Mr. Gordon realized little flashes of power...tiny sources of inner strength came forth. [When I did this, for the first time in my life, I suddenly grabbed hold of all the many special "happiness places and people" interspersed throughout my unhappy childhood I had kept buried with the unhappiness. Several of which have been shared here. This was big for me.] As he remembered, he felt a sudden glow of warmth within.
The next three words were more like a command: "Examine Your Motives." At first he felt a bit defensive, saying to himself, "What's wrong with wanting to be a success, or having a certain amount of recognition?" Then his inner voice he had reawakened spoke, "Maybe those motives alone are not enough."
Suddenly Mr. Gordon realized his writing, and much of his life had lost it's spontaneity. He realized his sense of giving something, of inspiring people, had been lost at a almost frantic clutch for security. If one's motives are wrong, we can lose our way. [I realized how much my life had been spent fighting the challenges of dwarfism, with a very sad and often violent childhood, and then all the many years of never ending physical battles. My fierce determination to plunge back into life so hard when free from hospitals became my motives to keep rising above the challenges. I never knew my inner self because I was trying so hard to keep surviving.]
"Examine Your Motives," Mr. Gordon thought, was the hard part of the "treatment." This challenge
to reappraise, was meant to bring one's motives into alignment with one's inner self and being. But the mind must first be clear and receptive to do this, thus the quiet self discovery with the first two prescriptions.
Mr. Gordon recognized the powerful therapeutic progression in these words the doctor prescribed, and their value to anyone facing difficulty, or seeking self discovery. Finally, as he walked across the beach, he read the words on the final prescription: "Write Your Worries In The Sand." So kneeling in the sand, he wrote the words, one after another. [Since I obviously was not at a beach, yet being a typical artist, had brought a sketchbook and pencils with me, I wrote mine down.] Then Mr. Gordon turned and walked away from the troubles he wrote in the sand, knowing the tide would soon come in and wash them away. [I tore the page I had written mine on into tiny pieces, then let the wind blow them away. I found myself.]
Friday, March 27, 2020
Amazing horse stories...
Several years ago in Sidelines Magazine was a touching story of a horse that could have gone to slaughter. At a barn where people could purchase horses in need, a number of potential buyers were there. A mare in a stall kept kicking the stall walls, scaring everyone away...except for a long time jump trainer.
Eventually he decided to enter her stall. When he did, she immediately went to him and buried her head under his arm. In tears he realized she was TRYING to get help the only way she could, because she KNEW what was happening. He bought her. She has since been working her way up the jump circuit with that trainer and a young rider she has also bonded with. Horses know where they are about to go, and they know when they are safe. And loved.
I have touched on how my horse Havilla had gone blind. She was the only one of my horses who never came to me when I called her. Though I would have to go get Havilla, she never made an attempt to run away from me.
Havilla was extremely close to a beautiful horse named Strand, and the two were always together. Yet when I would take Havilla away from Strand, they were never upset being separated as some horses become. When done with Havilla, I noticed she would neigh for Strand, and wait for him as he came to her. Then the two would go on their way.
Watching the two one day, I noticed how after Strand came to Havilla, as they left, Havilla was constantly touching his rump with her nose. Then it suddenly hit me, something was wrong with her eyes! Soon after, the vet confirmed it. After I told him about Strand being her eyes, we both marvelled at HOW did they work this out? HOW did Strand understand she needed him in that way?
The farm where I boarded some of my horses was 200 acres with only the outer perimeter fenced. There was a long driveway that wound its way through the property. If Patches saw my car coming, I wouldn't have to call him, because he KNEW my car! He would come running, then follow or trot along side the car until we reached our special place.
Since two other boarders had cars the same color as mine with similar shapes, I asked them if Patches ever followed their cars thinking it was me. He didn't. Yet he KNEW exactly which was MY car from a long distance. Amazing.
The miracle of horses...but then, I am kind of prejudiced, you see.😃
Eventually he decided to enter her stall. When he did, she immediately went to him and buried her head under his arm. In tears he realized she was TRYING to get help the only way she could, because she KNEW what was happening. He bought her. She has since been working her way up the jump circuit with that trainer and a young rider she has also bonded with. Horses know where they are about to go, and they know when they are safe. And loved.
I have touched on how my horse Havilla had gone blind. She was the only one of my horses who never came to me when I called her. Though I would have to go get Havilla, she never made an attempt to run away from me.
Havilla was extremely close to a beautiful horse named Strand, and the two were always together. Yet when I would take Havilla away from Strand, they were never upset being separated as some horses become. When done with Havilla, I noticed she would neigh for Strand, and wait for him as he came to her. Then the two would go on their way.
Watching the two one day, I noticed how after Strand came to Havilla, as they left, Havilla was constantly touching his rump with her nose. Then it suddenly hit me, something was wrong with her eyes! Soon after, the vet confirmed it. After I told him about Strand being her eyes, we both marvelled at HOW did they work this out? HOW did Strand understand she needed him in that way?
The farm where I boarded some of my horses was 200 acres with only the outer perimeter fenced. There was a long driveway that wound its way through the property. If Patches saw my car coming, I wouldn't have to call him, because he KNEW my car! He would come running, then follow or trot along side the car until we reached our special place.
Since two other boarders had cars the same color as mine with similar shapes, I asked them if Patches ever followed their cars thinking it was me. He didn't. Yet he KNEW exactly which was MY car from a long distance. Amazing.
The miracle of horses...but then, I am kind of prejudiced, you see.😃
The famous Goldfish Caper...
Sometimes when one is hospitalized for a long period, one can make a friend for a lifetime. When my blood counts were plunging out of control, my doctors wanted to try a new drug that went into the bone marrow. So I was admitted to a pediatric cancer ward in my twenties.
However, there was another young man my age named Michael, who was battling leukemia, like most on the ward, much younger than us. We immediately bonded and became the "pied pipers" of the ward.
Years prior to this I had read the beautiful book written by Doris Lund, detailing her amazing son's leukemia battle. Eric was diagnosed at 17, fought hard, yet died age 22, in 1972.
One of the things Eric did once while hospitalized for a long while, was to put a live goldfish in what looked to be a glass I.V. bottle...then attach a line which appeared to go in his arm. When his team of doctors came in, they saw him uncharacteristically hunkered down in bed. They asked what was wrong. Eric replied, "I'm feeling very scaly." That's when the doctors then noticed the goldfish, and loved it.
So this brings it back to Michael and I...
When we both weren't desperately ill from the treatments we were getting, we found ways to keep ourselves going, and the whole ward going, with courage and laughter. Since the ward was kept in very sterile conditions we were isolated, so moments of laughter in the midst of hell could go a long way.
One day I told Michael about Eric, and that was all it took. We had to try to do what we then called The Goldfish Caper.
Our first priority was to make absolutely sure no goldfish would be harmed in any way. Since we were confined to the ward, we had to enlist our friends "on the outside" to help. And it all had to be done secretly.
First, I had a friend get a large glass bowl for the fish, besides a decanter, which resembled a glass I.V. bottle. I painted numbers on so it would appear real. Michael was able to get his hands on some I.V. tubing.
Then Michael had a friend get two goldfish and food. We were ready.
The next morning we got Michael situated when the doctors came to make their rounds on the ward. I expressed concern to them that Michael wasn't doing well at all. They entered his room. Saw him "miserably" hunkered down in his bed. Concerned, they asked what was wrong.
"Doctors, I feel very scaly inside," said Michael.
That's when they suddenly caught sight of the goldfish in the I.V. bottle. I don't think I have ever seen doctors laugh so hard, and then applaud us. They loved it! We were immediate heroes of the ward for the kids. It even rallied some. Soon the whole place heard what we did.
I treasure the memory of this, because Michael later lost his fight. We had talked about death and dying late nights when the ward was quiet. For at night was the time to stare deeply at our hopes and fears and talk.
This has been another one of those "deeper the sorrow, the more joy" moments of many on my journey, for had I not been so ill with plummeting blood counts, I never would have known Michael.
And never had the "Goldfish Caper."
Oh, and the two goldfish? They blissfully lived a long time on the ward. I later heard the nurses had named them Michael and Adelaide.
However, there was another young man my age named Michael, who was battling leukemia, like most on the ward, much younger than us. We immediately bonded and became the "pied pipers" of the ward.
Years prior to this I had read the beautiful book written by Doris Lund, detailing her amazing son's leukemia battle. Eric was diagnosed at 17, fought hard, yet died age 22, in 1972.
One of the things Eric did once while hospitalized for a long while, was to put a live goldfish in what looked to be a glass I.V. bottle...then attach a line which appeared to go in his arm. When his team of doctors came in, they saw him uncharacteristically hunkered down in bed. They asked what was wrong. Eric replied, "I'm feeling very scaly." That's when the doctors then noticed the goldfish, and loved it.
So this brings it back to Michael and I...
When we both weren't desperately ill from the treatments we were getting, we found ways to keep ourselves going, and the whole ward going, with courage and laughter. Since the ward was kept in very sterile conditions we were isolated, so moments of laughter in the midst of hell could go a long way.
One day I told Michael about Eric, and that was all it took. We had to try to do what we then called The Goldfish Caper.
Our first priority was to make absolutely sure no goldfish would be harmed in any way. Since we were confined to the ward, we had to enlist our friends "on the outside" to help. And it all had to be done secretly.
First, I had a friend get a large glass bowl for the fish, besides a decanter, which resembled a glass I.V. bottle. I painted numbers on so it would appear real. Michael was able to get his hands on some I.V. tubing.
Then Michael had a friend get two goldfish and food. We were ready.
The next morning we got Michael situated when the doctors came to make their rounds on the ward. I expressed concern to them that Michael wasn't doing well at all. They entered his room. Saw him "miserably" hunkered down in his bed. Concerned, they asked what was wrong.
"Doctors, I feel very scaly inside," said Michael.
That's when they suddenly caught sight of the goldfish in the I.V. bottle. I don't think I have ever seen doctors laugh so hard, and then applaud us. They loved it! We were immediate heroes of the ward for the kids. It even rallied some. Soon the whole place heard what we did.
I treasure the memory of this, because Michael later lost his fight. We had talked about death and dying late nights when the ward was quiet. For at night was the time to stare deeply at our hopes and fears and talk.
This has been another one of those "deeper the sorrow, the more joy" moments of many on my journey, for had I not been so ill with plummeting blood counts, I never would have known Michael.
And never had the "Goldfish Caper."
Oh, and the two goldfish? They blissfully lived a long time on the ward. I later heard the nurses had named them Michael and Adelaide.
Thursday, March 26, 2020
A bucket list dream...
As you have probably gathered by now I have packed a lot of living into my life in between all the many long hospital stays, knowing there would be a time when my physical battles become more and more incapacitating...which is where I now am. However, I am grateful for being able to have done so much.
There is a great deal of talk about having a bucket list. And for me, there are only two things I would had loved to have been able to do.
One thing I touched on in a previous blog, was I took flying lessons. I love height and I love flying. I was about to begin my third lesson, when my blood counts plummeted, and I got whisked off to a pediatric cancer ward for a new bone marrow drug, having to be isolated for a long period of time. This was during the same time I met Michael who was also on the ward, and we did The Goldfish Caper together I wrote about earlier.
Since I was in the ward so long, by the time I got out, I had life, work, and a horse waiting to plunge back into. So I never got to complete learning how to fly, and that is something I wished I had been able to finish doing.
Yet even more than that, the one HUGE thing I have longed to do since I can remember, is to combine two of the things I love most, which are horses and beaches. I have always wanted to gallop a horse on a beach. This for me, would be "The Ultimate" thing to do.
As it is, galloping a horse bareback on a beach will have to remain a longing of my dreams. And yet, I have been so blessed to be on each of my seven horses bareback, soaring across many vast fields and trails. This in itself is a bright treasure I hold very dearly...another one of my "and yets."🐎😃🐎
There is a great deal of talk about having a bucket list. And for me, there are only two things I would had loved to have been able to do.
One thing I touched on in a previous blog, was I took flying lessons. I love height and I love flying. I was about to begin my third lesson, when my blood counts plummeted, and I got whisked off to a pediatric cancer ward for a new bone marrow drug, having to be isolated for a long period of time. This was during the same time I met Michael who was also on the ward, and we did The Goldfish Caper together I wrote about earlier.
Since I was in the ward so long, by the time I got out, I had life, work, and a horse waiting to plunge back into. So I never got to complete learning how to fly, and that is something I wished I had been able to finish doing.
Yet even more than that, the one HUGE thing I have longed to do since I can remember, is to combine two of the things I love most, which are horses and beaches. I have always wanted to gallop a horse on a beach. This for me, would be "The Ultimate" thing to do.
As it is, galloping a horse bareback on a beach will have to remain a longing of my dreams. And yet, I have been so blessed to be on each of my seven horses bareback, soaring across many vast fields and trails. This in itself is a bright treasure I hold very dearly...another one of my "and yets."🐎😃🐎
Plunging forth and not backwards...
W. C. Fields once said, "This old world is a very tough place, and you're darn lucky if you can get out of it alive." And this world IS a very tough place, indeed. We ALL have tough challenges. Tough challenges need tough faith, in however one believes. Often it is easier said than done. I tend to take a deep breath and PLUNGE forth. Sometimes I've PLUNGED BACKWARDS though, but sometimes, the plunge forth is sweet, oh, so amazingly sweet.
My last horse, Patches, was a foal in dire need of being rescued when he came into my life. How he came into my life is quite a story too, for a later blog. In the late 1980's following spine surgery...I had to learn to walk again for the second time, but was darn grateful I could. Still there were complications, so I traveled to Johns-Hopkins to see the world renown Dr. Kopits, who devoted his career to Little People. That I got to see him at all was the result of a plunge I made. Due to the severity of my condition, he asked if I could move to Baltimore. "Yes, of course! I will go to my money tree! No problem!" I reminded him I came with a horse and cat package.😏 Financially, there was just no way. Impossible.
After I returned to Kentucky, I had this idea, but shoved it away. Everything could go wrong. Yet the idea persisted. I would ride Patches 10 miles, involve the media, and seek pledges for each mile. If I plunged BACK trying this, the media would be right there to show it, so I HAD to shove the crazy idea aside.
Then I was given a nudge. More like a huge SHOVE.😮 I was moving Patches from one farm to one closer to my home. One day, leaving the farm I had him at, it suddenly came to me out of nowhere, to clock the miles from one farm to the other. I did. The distance...was...EXACTLY...10...MILES!
I took a deep breath, and PLUNGED forth.
And what a plunging forth of faith it was! It HAD to be.
I contacted both the printed and television media. "You're doing WHAT?!!"😓
Then I arranged for a friend with a horse van to be there too, if needed. Since the first mile of The Ride involved riding down a 4 lane highway, I had to ask if police could assist. "You're doing WHAT?!!"😓
I only asked for, and received promise of, a few pledges prior to The Ride, since everything depended upon actually DOING The Ride, with the help of media.
Then the day came. Everybody showed up. Patches was only 2 years old when I did this, the deep bond we shared enabling us to embark on this amazing little journey at all...escorted by police and a media entourage as we began. Aside from the traffic noise, and two bridges...the one I thought Patches wouldn't have a problem with, he did at first, and the one I thought would be a problem, wasn't. Other than that, we completed it in 3 hours!
The newspaper and television pieces hit the next day. And then...AND THEN...our journey REALLY took off! People were SO touched and inspired, they couldn't get enough of us. No one could remember my name, but they sure remembered "Patches!" I quickly became known as "the Patches lady!" With a business, prior to The Ride, in the event donations did actually come in, we set up a trust fund, and the donations began pouring in. Not all was monetary. Since I needed transportation to get Patches to Baltimore, one of the largest national horse transportation firms donated their services. Mechanics overhauled my car so I could get there too. A vet donated his fee to vet Patches with the paperwork needed to cross state lines. It went on and on.
Because of the keen interest in our amazing story, the media kept coming to the farm to get more coverage of Patches and I...like the way he would come running to me when he heard me call him. The news pieces were lovely.
Yet it didn't stop in Kentucky. The govenor of Maryland at that time, learned about us, and welcomed Patches and I to Maryland! In all, The Ride received just over $11,000.00 in money and donations. We were on our way.
All because I took a HUGE crazy leap of faith and plunged forth. And it all went FORTH...not BACK!😊
My last horse, Patches, was a foal in dire need of being rescued when he came into my life. How he came into my life is quite a story too, for a later blog. In the late 1980's following spine surgery...I had to learn to walk again for the second time, but was darn grateful I could. Still there were complications, so I traveled to Johns-Hopkins to see the world renown Dr. Kopits, who devoted his career to Little People. That I got to see him at all was the result of a plunge I made. Due to the severity of my condition, he asked if I could move to Baltimore. "Yes, of course! I will go to my money tree! No problem!" I reminded him I came with a horse and cat package.😏 Financially, there was just no way. Impossible.
After I returned to Kentucky, I had this idea, but shoved it away. Everything could go wrong. Yet the idea persisted. I would ride Patches 10 miles, involve the media, and seek pledges for each mile. If I plunged BACK trying this, the media would be right there to show it, so I HAD to shove the crazy idea aside.
Then I was given a nudge. More like a huge SHOVE.😮 I was moving Patches from one farm to one closer to my home. One day, leaving the farm I had him at, it suddenly came to me out of nowhere, to clock the miles from one farm to the other. I did. The distance...was...EXACTLY...10...MILES!
I took a deep breath, and PLUNGED forth.
And what a plunging forth of faith it was! It HAD to be.
I contacted both the printed and television media. "You're doing WHAT?!!"😓
Then I arranged for a friend with a horse van to be there too, if needed. Since the first mile of The Ride involved riding down a 4 lane highway, I had to ask if police could assist. "You're doing WHAT?!!"😓
I only asked for, and received promise of, a few pledges prior to The Ride, since everything depended upon actually DOING The Ride, with the help of media.
Then the day came. Everybody showed up. Patches was only 2 years old when I did this, the deep bond we shared enabling us to embark on this amazing little journey at all...escorted by police and a media entourage as we began. Aside from the traffic noise, and two bridges...the one I thought Patches wouldn't have a problem with, he did at first, and the one I thought would be a problem, wasn't. Other than that, we completed it in 3 hours!
The newspaper and television pieces hit the next day. And then...AND THEN...our journey REALLY took off! People were SO touched and inspired, they couldn't get enough of us. No one could remember my name, but they sure remembered "Patches!" I quickly became known as "the Patches lady!" With a business, prior to The Ride, in the event donations did actually come in, we set up a trust fund, and the donations began pouring in. Not all was monetary. Since I needed transportation to get Patches to Baltimore, one of the largest national horse transportation firms donated their services. Mechanics overhauled my car so I could get there too. A vet donated his fee to vet Patches with the paperwork needed to cross state lines. It went on and on.
Because of the keen interest in our amazing story, the media kept coming to the farm to get more coverage of Patches and I...like the way he would come running to me when he heard me call him. The news pieces were lovely.
Yet it didn't stop in Kentucky. The govenor of Maryland at that time, learned about us, and welcomed Patches and I to Maryland! In all, The Ride received just over $11,000.00 in money and donations. We were on our way.
All because I took a HUGE crazy leap of faith and plunged forth. And it all went FORTH...not BACK!😊
Readers...
My dear readers, I especially hope all of you are keeping safe and well during this very challenging time we are experiencing. You're in my prayers.
All I see via Blogger, are the number of people following me from the country you live in, and which of my blogs are being viewed. So having said this, I noticed quite often only one page of my two part blogs are being read, as I thought placing them in parts may be preferred. Over the next days I will combine them and repost them to make it easier for all.
I have shared my struggle living with both my colon and bladder shutting down due to the spinal cord disease. At present I have another urinary infection and am trying to get antibiotics prescribed...only my doctor has apparently tested positive for the virus and is in isolation at home. Hopefully a nurse is working on this for me.
What I am trying to say is I am dealing with intense nausea, pain, and urinary problems worse than ever just now, and my blogs may be a bit more brief than usual for a few days, so please hang in there with me, for you are appreciated more than my words can express. I had no idea how this would go, and have been very gratefully astounded by how many of you are reading this blog from everywhere in the world. Please know all of you are very appreciated!
Again, my prayers are with you. Please stay strong and well. And embrace courage, hope, and love.
Adelaide
All I see via Blogger, are the number of people following me from the country you live in, and which of my blogs are being viewed. So having said this, I noticed quite often only one page of my two part blogs are being read, as I thought placing them in parts may be preferred. Over the next days I will combine them and repost them to make it easier for all.
I have shared my struggle living with both my colon and bladder shutting down due to the spinal cord disease. At present I have another urinary infection and am trying to get antibiotics prescribed...only my doctor has apparently tested positive for the virus and is in isolation at home. Hopefully a nurse is working on this for me.
What I am trying to say is I am dealing with intense nausea, pain, and urinary problems worse than ever just now, and my blogs may be a bit more brief than usual for a few days, so please hang in there with me, for you are appreciated more than my words can express. I had no idea how this would go, and have been very gratefully astounded by how many of you are reading this blog from everywhere in the world. Please know all of you are very appreciated!
Again, my prayers are with you. Please stay strong and well. And embrace courage, hope, and love.
Adelaide
Wednesday, March 25, 2020
Conquer with courage...
They can conquer who believe
they can.
~Virgil
The kind of courage that matters most in life, is the kind of courage one survives with...so, please be courageous out there.
~Mignon McLaughlin
Shared moments...
A heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others.
~from The Wizard Of Oz
We are known forever by the tracks we leave behind.
~Native American Proverb
If I could take the hands of time and hold them in my own, I'd keep them warm within my grasp and never let them go.
~ Brian's Song
We all surely have those vivid memories of shared moments when we felt a rush of feeling incredibly alive. The moments we look back on and cringe now, not believing we could be so crazy. And yet so grateful. Because that incredible exhilaration never diminishes
over the passing years. Especially when shared.
"Common everybody! Let's do it, okay? All seven of us holding hands!" said Donny.
Kate said, "No way! This is crazy...but...do you think we really can?!!"
We were a group who met while working summer stock
theatre one year and shared a magical bond. We remained close even after life took us each in different directions. Some bonds of friendship never diminish.
One day that summer, we ended up at a gorge with a deep lake known for its' high cliff to dive from. Now we are talking high here folks, as in Olympic high diving platform high. Very high. Massively high. With deep dark water far, far below.
"We can do it! It'll be a blast!" said Mark.
Sydney agreed, "We've just GOT to try this! Adelaide?"
"It's crazy. But if we don't do it, we will always regret we didn't, you know?"
Lisa and Sam agreed.
So...with me right in the middle, and the seven of us holding hands, we took a running, high flying leap off a high rocky cliff to the depths of oblivion far below. It was absolutely EXHILARATING. But one time was enough for all of us.🤣
The best part about it? This was something we did together. The sharing made it special...so very special. The best moments in life are the shared ones. The
ones we never let go of, and keep warm within our
grasp forever. And believe me, we all are.
Even though we know we were crazy as hell to do it...🤣
~from The Wizard Of Oz
We are known forever by the tracks we leave behind.
~Native American Proverb
If I could take the hands of time and hold them in my own, I'd keep them warm within my grasp and never let them go.
~ Brian's Song
We all surely have those vivid memories of shared moments when we felt a rush of feeling incredibly alive. The moments we look back on and cringe now, not believing we could be so crazy. And yet so grateful. Because that incredible exhilaration never diminishes
over the passing years. Especially when shared.
"Common everybody! Let's do it, okay? All seven of us holding hands!" said Donny.
Kate said, "No way! This is crazy...but...do you think we really can?!!"
We were a group who met while working summer stock
theatre one year and shared a magical bond. We remained close even after life took us each in different directions. Some bonds of friendship never diminish.
One day that summer, we ended up at a gorge with a deep lake known for its' high cliff to dive from. Now we are talking high here folks, as in Olympic high diving platform high. Very high. Massively high. With deep dark water far, far below.
"We can do it! It'll be a blast!" said Mark.
Sydney agreed, "We've just GOT to try this! Adelaide?"
"It's crazy. But if we don't do it, we will always regret we didn't, you know?"
Lisa and Sam agreed.
So...with me right in the middle, and the seven of us holding hands, we took a running, high flying leap off a high rocky cliff to the depths of oblivion far below. It was absolutely EXHILARATING. But one time was enough for all of us.🤣
The best part about it? This was something we did together. The sharing made it special...so very special. The best moments in life are the shared ones. The
ones we never let go of, and keep warm within our
grasp forever. And believe me, we all are.
Even though we know we were crazy as hell to do it...🤣
Being there...
One day, Little Piglet snuggled up to Pooh...
"Pooh?" he whispered.
"Yes, Piglet."
"Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's paw and
holding it...
"I just wanted to make sure you were there."
~A.A. Milne
Tuesday, March 24, 2020
The journey of many miles...
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. -Lao Tzu
The journey of a thousand miles actually begins with having the courage TO take that first single step.
There are approximately 200 types of dwarfism with Achondroplasia being the most common. Almost all obviously affect the bone structure, cartilage, and connective tissues...with 4'10" the maximum amount of height.
Eighty percent of us come from families with no history of dwarfism whatsoever, as in my case.
However, the jury is still out on which type of dwarfism I have...though I certainly have some of the Achondroplasia characteristics. In fact, how I met Dr. Kopits and became his patient, was because I had an appointment to see his colleague, the dear geneticist Dr. McKusick at Johns-Hopkins. Though I recovered from the bleed out and paralysis during my most recent spine surgery at that time, I was having severe problems with plummeting blood counts. My doctors were hoping if we could nail down which type of dwarfism I have, we could possibly solve the blood count issues. Also learn if other Little People had the same problem.
The only thing was though, I had just been in the hospital for months while learning to walk again, missed work all that time, and gone through what savings I had. I didn't know yet how I was going to get to Baltimore, and stay for one day and two nights. With a courageous leap of faith, I took that single step anyway, and made the arrangements needed. The next day I found a envelope someone put under my door. An anonymous donor provided the airline ticket and the money to cover the room near Johns-Hopkins.
Dr. Kopits was such an extraordinary doctor for Little People, he had a waiting list of one to two years. When I scheduled my appointment for Dr. McKusick, I learned it just happened to be a day Dr. Kopits was at Johns-Hopkins seeing patients. I was hopeful to simply get to meet him.
I flew to Baltimore, and saw Dr. McKusick early the next morning. As soon as I saw him, he got very excited. He immediately noticed my hands, feet, and longish extremities. Remember, I hadn't met any other Little People yet to know I was "unique" in this way. Besides being on the "tall" side of dwarfism, my hands and feet are average size. I can wear regular shoes. Many Little People cannot and my heart aches for them deeply.
Dr. McKusick flipped out when he learned I played the piano, was an artist, and Theatre Set Designer.
And then...AND THEN...when he learned I owned and rode horses, his jaw dropped. At that point, he suddenly got up, grabbed my hand, and began dragging me (I had to go with my hand) for his colleagues to see. And you guessed it...one of those just happened to be Dr. Kopits.
"Steven! Look! Look at her hands and feet!" Dr. McKusick said. "She plays the piano and she's an artist! And SHE OWNS AND RIDES HORSES BAREBACK!"
Before Dr. McKusick dragged me on, I managed to say to Dr. Kopits with laughter, "I had hoped to...oops! Gotta go! So happy to meet youuu!"
Dear sweet Dr. McKusick...when he completed his impromptu show and tell, had me sit down in the busy corridor. After he walked away, Dr. Kopits and he began talking together...and looking my way.
A few moments after Dr. McKusick and Dr. Kopits spoke, Dr, Kopits came to me and asked if he could take me on as a patient, and would I be willing to wait and see him after he finished with his other patients. WOW...like I had anywhere ELSE to go?!! "Yes!"
We had this conversation around 9:45 A.M. I was his last patient and saw him around 7:30 P.M. and absolutely did not mind. One of the very first questions he asked was, "Please tell me, HOW do you get ON your horse?!!"
He had all my records and at first, could not believe I was able to walk again following the bleed out and hematoma paralysis of my most recent spine surgery. With his nurse he spent over an hour with me. We also discussed the new spine pain I was experiencing, which turned out to be the arachnoiditis.
Dr. Kopits asked if I could remain in Baltimore for at least four weeks. Financially, I told him there was no way I possibly could. He said, "Wait a moment," and made a call.
Where Dr. Kopits was staffed at the hospital in Towson, Maryland, the hospital had a Ronald McDonald kind of house on the property just for the patients and families of Dr. Kopits. He secured a room for me.
Since neither Dr. Kopits, his nurse, or myself had eaten all day, he wanted to take us out to eat. Hours earlier I wasn't even his patient...hadn't even met him before, and with his nurse, I had been asked to join him for dinner! All because I took a step of courage.
The specially designed House I stayed in, had low sinks, toilets, bathtubs, etc. just for a little person 3' tall. It was amazing. I had to actually get on my knees when at the sink! For the first time in my entire life I felt what it was like to be "tall."
My first Saturday in Baltimore, Dr. Kopits came and watched the Preakness horse race with me. He hadn't seen it before!
I was seen by many doctors, including a renown hematologist, and underwent many tests. One in particular not only revealed the arachnoiditis, but the severity of it. And my blood counts were still out of control, necessitating many transfusions. This is when Dr. Kopits asked if I could move to Maryland. There was no doubt my physical future would be a very daunting one, and it grieved him.
He was a dear man...an incredible man, and a very gifted orthopaedic surgeon who deeply cared about all his patients and was beloved by all. Sadly, in 2003, after a courageous fight, Dr. Kopits succumbed to a brain tumor.
If I did not have the courage to take that step of a thousand miles to make it to Baltimore, I never would have known many things about my medical journey. And most of all, never would have known such an amazing doctor.
Have courage dear ones, to take that single step.
Monday, March 23, 2020
Daring and love...
To be daring one must be more than a little crazy at times, mixed with courageous spunk.
In a earlier blog I wrote about my dear 5'11" Aiden, whose horse Sierra had bonded with Patches and brought us together. Sierra had been a challenge
for Aiden to catch...that is, until Patches and I came along. Sierra became attached to Patches, and since Patches always came running to me, Sierra did too. So Aiden timed his visits to the farm with mine.
It wasn't long before we were deeply in love, and became each other's "THE ONE," before he tragically died.
One day we discovered a mile long horse trail with many hairpin turns. On each sides of the trail were trees, rocky cliffs with high drop offs far below and a rushing creek in places. At the very end of the trail was a huge fence, with a major highway just beyond.
When we reached the end, and turned the horses around, they became excited, knowing we were heading back. And that's when Aiden had an idea.
"Adelaide, let's gallop all the way back!"
"But honey, what about those turns? And did you notice those drop offs?!!"
You see, by then I was older, and a bit less crazy.
"Aww, common, let's try it! I think it will be FUN!"
"Okay, I'm in...let's do it! We should take..."
Before I could finish, Aiden took off on Sierra, with Patches leaping into a fast gallop right behind her. It was one of the wildest, most thrilling rides I have ever had. I am not kidding, on some of those hairpin turns, Patches and I were going so fast, when he leaned into the curve, my face was inches from the ground. On one of the curves I saw nothing but the depths below the edge.
Since Patches was smaller than Sierra, he was galloping very fast to keep up, so our ride was indeed thrilling. Certainly different than fast gallops across fields!
After we finally came to a stop, Aiden let out a huge,
"WOW! THAT WAS INCREDIBLE! Sierra was really flying! Yet Patches stayed right behind! When I glanced back once, he was leaning into the turn so fast you looked like you were hanging over the abyss!"
"Because I WAS hanging over the abyss! This was AMAZING! I LOVED it!"
"What were you trying to say to me when we took off?"
"We should take care around those turns..."🤣
On Christmas Day a few months before Aiden died,
there was about a foot of snow on the ground. He was especially anxious we take the horses out for a ride to a clearing beyond the fields into the woods.
"Now?!!"
"Especially now."
So off we went and the scene was magical. It was late in the day, with the bright setting sun shining through the trees on the snow. When we reached the clearing, Aiden suddenly dismounted Sierra.
"Why are you dismounting? The snow is so deep here..."
"THIS...is why."
And that is when Aiden took a ring out of his pocket, placed it on my finger, and asked if I would marry him.
He said my daring spirit was one of the things he fell in love with.🥰
I still wear the ring and always will.💕
In a earlier blog I wrote about my dear 5'11" Aiden, whose horse Sierra had bonded with Patches and brought us together. Sierra had been a challenge
for Aiden to catch...that is, until Patches and I came along. Sierra became attached to Patches, and since Patches always came running to me, Sierra did too. So Aiden timed his visits to the farm with mine.
It wasn't long before we were deeply in love, and became each other's "THE ONE," before he tragically died.
One day we discovered a mile long horse trail with many hairpin turns. On each sides of the trail were trees, rocky cliffs with high drop offs far below and a rushing creek in places. At the very end of the trail was a huge fence, with a major highway just beyond.
When we reached the end, and turned the horses around, they became excited, knowing we were heading back. And that's when Aiden had an idea.
"Adelaide, let's gallop all the way back!"
"But honey, what about those turns? And did you notice those drop offs?!!"
You see, by then I was older, and a bit less crazy.
"Aww, common, let's try it! I think it will be FUN!"
"Okay, I'm in...let's do it! We should take..."
Before I could finish, Aiden took off on Sierra, with Patches leaping into a fast gallop right behind her. It was one of the wildest, most thrilling rides I have ever had. I am not kidding, on some of those hairpin turns, Patches and I were going so fast, when he leaned into the curve, my face was inches from the ground. On one of the curves I saw nothing but the depths below the edge.
Since Patches was smaller than Sierra, he was galloping very fast to keep up, so our ride was indeed thrilling. Certainly different than fast gallops across fields!
After we finally came to a stop, Aiden let out a huge,
"WOW! THAT WAS INCREDIBLE! Sierra was really flying! Yet Patches stayed right behind! When I glanced back once, he was leaning into the turn so fast you looked like you were hanging over the abyss!"
"Because I WAS hanging over the abyss! This was AMAZING! I LOVED it!"
"What were you trying to say to me when we took off?"
"We should take care around those turns..."🤣
On Christmas Day a few months before Aiden died,
there was about a foot of snow on the ground. He was especially anxious we take the horses out for a ride to a clearing beyond the fields into the woods.
"Now?!!"
"Especially now."
So off we went and the scene was magical. It was late in the day, with the bright setting sun shining through the trees on the snow. When we reached the clearing, Aiden suddenly dismounted Sierra.
"Why are you dismounting? The snow is so deep here..."
"THIS...is why."
And that is when Aiden took a ring out of his pocket, placed it on my finger, and asked if I would marry him.
He said my daring spirit was one of the things he fell in love with.🥰
I still wear the ring and always will.💕
Sunday, March 22, 2020
Faith...
Before I begin writing today's blog on faith in tough times, I want to share that in my journey of always having a desire to discover what is around the next bend, is also the same desire that has enabled me to explore other faiths. Not because I sought to change my own, but...to simply seek understanding and knowledge of all.
So years ago I embarked on a wonderful journey of discovery. I spoke with a Rabbi, a Buddhist, a Muslim, a Hindu, a Catholic priest, and finally a friend who believes in a spirit channeled through someone. I already had a profound respect for these beliefs, yet by exploring them, I gained a far deeper, valuable understanding.
I think there is a common thread running through all, for the beginning of Heaven is found in all our hearts if we walk in love. Years ago I heard a dear minister say in respect to other faiths, one should remember, when we eat a bar of chocolate we don't try to analyze all the ingredients in it, but accept the goodness. I have always loved that analogy.
Now then, I want to touch on faith for a moment...just faith. These are some tough times we are all living with. Some worse than others out there.
Church was not in my childhood, yet I somehow knew there was a God, and He was my Heavenly Father because I had nowhere else to turn. I would gaze at the stars and talk to Him every night pouring my darkness to the sky above. Because I had nowhere else to turn, my faith became a very strong loving one...and this has continued to sustain me through my very challenging journey.
In my talks I have often referred to having a tough faith for the daunting challenges faced. When asked what I mean by tough faith, it is faith with a persevering trust in God as one believes. And it is a loving trust. Faith isn't always feeling though. Faith is trusting God is right there loving us, pouring His power into us whether we feel it or not. There are times in our lives we all have, when faith is burning low and we deeply feel the weight of our challenges. This is when we have to simply "act as if," in the belief God is right there loving us, sustaining us...to trust this and hold on...because the loving God of all our beliefs...is...there.
We are all enduring a very challenging time, dear ones. I hope what I have shared here has been a blessing in some way. Hold on to the strength of your faith. And walk in love.
So years ago I embarked on a wonderful journey of discovery. I spoke with a Rabbi, a Buddhist, a Muslim, a Hindu, a Catholic priest, and finally a friend who believes in a spirit channeled through someone. I already had a profound respect for these beliefs, yet by exploring them, I gained a far deeper, valuable understanding.
I think there is a common thread running through all, for the beginning of Heaven is found in all our hearts if we walk in love. Years ago I heard a dear minister say in respect to other faiths, one should remember, when we eat a bar of chocolate we don't try to analyze all the ingredients in it, but accept the goodness. I have always loved that analogy.
Now then, I want to touch on faith for a moment...just faith. These are some tough times we are all living with. Some worse than others out there.
Church was not in my childhood, yet I somehow knew there was a God, and He was my Heavenly Father because I had nowhere else to turn. I would gaze at the stars and talk to Him every night pouring my darkness to the sky above. Because I had nowhere else to turn, my faith became a very strong loving one...and this has continued to sustain me through my very challenging journey.
In my talks I have often referred to having a tough faith for the daunting challenges faced. When asked what I mean by tough faith, it is faith with a persevering trust in God as one believes. And it is a loving trust. Faith isn't always feeling though. Faith is trusting God is right there loving us, pouring His power into us whether we feel it or not. There are times in our lives we all have, when faith is burning low and we deeply feel the weight of our challenges. This is when we have to simply "act as if," in the belief God is right there loving us, sustaining us...to trust this and hold on...because the loving God of all our beliefs...is...there.
We are all enduring a very challenging time, dear ones. I hope what I have shared here has been a blessing in some way. Hold on to the strength of your faith. And walk in love.
Tombstone faith...
Along the way I have gathered treasures in wisdom written on tombstones, and the following are a few...
Inscribed on a old tombstone:
Remember, as you pass by,
As you are now, so was I,
As I am now, you will be,
So be prepared to follow me.
Then on a old sign someone creative (not me) attached to the tombstone with these words:
To follow you, I am not content,
Until I learn the way you went.
Then on another tombstone:
Only those who return to eternity
Are those on earth who sought eternity in faith.
And then:
Heaven lies in the heart.
And a familiar one:
God is Love.
And finally:
The beginning of faith, is trust.
Inscribed on a old tombstone:
Remember, as you pass by,
As you are now, so was I,
As I am now, you will be,
So be prepared to follow me.
Then on a old sign someone creative (not me) attached to the tombstone with these words:
To follow you, I am not content,
Until I learn the way you went.
Then on another tombstone:
Only those who return to eternity
Are those on earth who sought eternity in faith.
And then:
Heaven lies in the heart.
And a familiar one:
God is Love.
And finally:
The beginning of faith, is trust.
Saturday, March 21, 2020
Purpose...
A life without purpose is like jumping off a cliff and then trying to build your wings on your way down.
~Ray Bradbury
Aplomb...
Websters definition of aplomb is: a state of mind or manner marked by composure, an easy coolness; freedom from uncertainty, or embarrassment.
As you now know, hilarious things can happen to this Little Person!
Like when I used to have speaking engagements. Well, as you know, podiums are designed for an average height person...NOT a person of MY height. Often I would have to stand on a chair to be seen over the podium and to reach the microphone.
No problem, right?
Wrong.
Sometimes one can forget one is height compromised if one is standing on a chair when speaking. And it comes time for that person to make a grand exit away from the podium...and then...AND THEN...suddenly go gracefully flying through the air in front of a large audience.
Falling off my horses has served me well though, you see. To help prevent injury and save face, if one falls in one smooth free flowing event, one may eventually end up back on one's feet like the whole thing was meant to happen just to show how very talented and athletic one can be in these things.
So this talent served me quite well with aplomb when I had a memory lapse, forgetting I was standing on a chair before a large crowd of people.
Sometimes aplomb is needed to grab a moment.
In a city I once lived was a gentleman who was the official Santa...and he looked just like Santa too, with a real white beard, red clothing, and spectacles. One day during the Christmas Season, I was in a busy grocery store shopping. As I hurried around a corner up a crowded aisle, I ran right smack into Santa.
For a moment we both looked at each other in complete surprise.
Seizing the moment, I blurted out, "Santa! I know I should be with the other elves up North right now, but there were things we needed from this store!"
He went with it, and replied, "Ho Ho Ho! We've been so busy, I understand, my little one! I had to come also. Did the reindeer bring you too?"
"No, because they are all with you! But I found another way to get here."
Back and forth we went. You should have seen not only the faces of the kids in that aisle, but the adults! They were totally transfixed. They absolutely loved us! By grabbing a moment with aplomb, we gave a bunch of harried adults and tired kids a moment they will likely never forget. Besides having fun doing it. A touch of wonder moment in Aisle 10.
Having aplomb is a wonderful thing, dear ones. Grab hold of aplomb and land on your feet.
As you now know, hilarious things can happen to this Little Person!
Like when I used to have speaking engagements. Well, as you know, podiums are designed for an average height person...NOT a person of MY height. Often I would have to stand on a chair to be seen over the podium and to reach the microphone.
No problem, right?
Wrong.
Sometimes one can forget one is height compromised if one is standing on a chair when speaking. And it comes time for that person to make a grand exit away from the podium...and then...AND THEN...suddenly go gracefully flying through the air in front of a large audience.
Falling off my horses has served me well though, you see. To help prevent injury and save face, if one falls in one smooth free flowing event, one may eventually end up back on one's feet like the whole thing was meant to happen just to show how very talented and athletic one can be in these things.
So this talent served me quite well with aplomb when I had a memory lapse, forgetting I was standing on a chair before a large crowd of people.
Sometimes aplomb is needed to grab a moment.
In a city I once lived was a gentleman who was the official Santa...and he looked just like Santa too, with a real white beard, red clothing, and spectacles. One day during the Christmas Season, I was in a busy grocery store shopping. As I hurried around a corner up a crowded aisle, I ran right smack into Santa.
For a moment we both looked at each other in complete surprise.
Seizing the moment, I blurted out, "Santa! I know I should be with the other elves up North right now, but there were things we needed from this store!"
He went with it, and replied, "Ho Ho Ho! We've been so busy, I understand, my little one! I had to come also. Did the reindeer bring you too?"
"No, because they are all with you! But I found another way to get here."
Back and forth we went. You should have seen not only the faces of the kids in that aisle, but the adults! They were totally transfixed. They absolutely loved us! By grabbing a moment with aplomb, we gave a bunch of harried adults and tired kids a moment they will likely never forget. Besides having fun doing it. A touch of wonder moment in Aisle 10.
Having aplomb is a wonderful thing, dear ones. Grab hold of aplomb and land on your feet.
Jackie...
When my dear friend Jackie was in one hospital dying of cancer, I was in another hospital struggling to walk again. So I couldn't be there, nor was I able to attend her funeral. For years it left me with a terrible sadness I seldom shared with anyone. I needed closure, but how?
Several years after Jackie passed away, I was talking with a minister friend about this. She asked, "What are some of the things you and Jackie did when she was still alive?"
"Well, one thing, we laughed...a LOT. You know, the kind of laughter where tears are streaming down your face and you nearly wet your pants? We both had a wicked sense of humor. And we would drink coffee and talk about faith, love, horses, sorrow, being on the road, and all the things we each still hoped to do someday."
"The two of you were really close," said Lori.
"Yes, we were. She was much older than I, but we had a very close bond. I was close to her husband too. And they had horses."
Suddenly Lori had an idea. "This is what I want you to do...and I realize it may seem crazy, but take a thermos of coffee, two cups, and go to her grave you have never been to yet. Pour a cup of coffee for each of you. Talk to her as if she is right there. Pour your heart out."
"Are you serious?"
"I am very serious. Then I want you to tell me what happens after you have done this, okay?"
"Which means I am going to have to do this, huh?"
"Yep, you got it!"
So, this is how I was soon at Jackie's grave pouring coffee into two fancy cups late one afternoon. As I began talking to her, the floodgates opened, and all the grief being held back, came pouring out. Afterwards, the sky suddenly opened up with one of the most beautiful sunsets I had ever seen.
And you know what? I felt better...a lot better. I even felt as if Jackie were there. Then it hit me, how Jackie absolutely would have loved being served coffee on her grave. With cream. Yet in some way, I believe she knew.
For love transcends all, dear ones.
"Which means I am going to have to do this, huh?"
"Yep, you got it!"
So, this is how I was soon at Jackie's grave pouring coffee into two fancy cups late one afternoon. As I began talking to her, the floodgates opened, and all the grief being held back, came pouring out. Afterwards, the sky suddenly opened up with one of the most beautiful sunsets I had ever seen.
And you know what? I felt better...a lot better. I even felt as if Jackie were there. Then it hit me, how Jackie absolutely would have loved being served coffee on her grave. With cream. Yet in some way, I believe she knew.
For love transcends all, dear ones.
Friday, March 20, 2020
Acceptance prayer...
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference.
-Reinhold Niebuhr
And yet...
Ah, my dear ones...there are two words that have been the catalyst of my having what I keep referring to as my enduring gratitude attitude, and I shall write about them today, because maybe, just maybe, they may be uplifting to you also during these trying events. I hope so.
The two words? "And yet." Trust me, these are two very powerful little words. And they carry hope spreading out like a ripple.
As I have touched on, the severe and very painful spinal cord inflammation disease I have is shutting down my digestive track and weakening my legs as it moves up my spinal cord. In recent years I have had two major emergency abdominal surgeries due to this. Both my bladder and colon are barely functioning. Besides pain, I live with nausea. Nothing more can be done.
However, friends, doctors, and others are profoundly touched and inspired by my attitude. No one can imagine, including my doctors, the nightmare they know I am living. What they hear is this...
"I have had a really hard week. Have another urinary infection. In terrible pain. Can barely make it from the bed to the bathroom. And yet...I am very blessed, for when I gaze out my windows all I can see are the beauty and vastness of hills, trees, and horse farms for miles. I have my music. And I have three loving cats that make me laugh."
Recently, one of my doctors and I were talking about this very subject...
"Adelaide, how do you keep from being depressed?"
"There are moments when I am sad and very weary, and yet, look how I have been blessed to gallop on horses I owned, had success with my art, theatre, was in demand as a speaker, loved and was loved, laughed a lot, rode in a hearse once ALIVE, and had a very full life despite being in the hospital so much. You see, I have all these things to hold onto I am so grateful for because I got to cram so much living into my journey."
"Still, don't you ever feel cheated to be where you are physically? I mean, I have never had another patient with as much wrong as you have, and yet you always come in here with a smile on your face, delighting everyone."
"Remember the Serenity Prayer? Accept the things I cannot change?" With the Serenity Prayer I learned decades ago to accept the body I am in and these daunting physical battles with it. Yeah, living in my body is terribly challenging, and yet I am grateful for the many things I still have been able to do. You see, if I were to keep focused on my glass as always being half empty, rather than keeping focused on my glass being half full, I would never be the person others would WANT to be around, or inspired by."
"By the way Adelaide did you know the Serenity Prayer is called the 'Acceptance' prayer?"
"Yep. It is also known as the Prayer Of Hope too."
As you, my readers, have read here, I have spent much of my journey in hospitals fighting my toughest battles...learning to walk again twice, many surgeries, fighting cancer, and being on cancer wards getting bone marrow treatments. And yet the dearest people I have ever known...some of the brightest experiences I have ever had, and laughter, have been while in hospitals.
What I am trying to convey, dear ones, is no matter how challenging the circumstances are, there are still the "and yets," to embrace. I have been blessed with a friend who is a quadriplegic who tells everyone, "I am paralyzed, and yet can still see and hear and make a difference in the lives of others." There is another friend who lives in a war torn country who has lost everything, who says, "and yet I still have my family and we are safe."
Your challenges may be the worst you have ever known...and yet...
The two words? "And yet." Trust me, these are two very powerful little words. And they carry hope spreading out like a ripple.
As I have touched on, the severe and very painful spinal cord inflammation disease I have is shutting down my digestive track and weakening my legs as it moves up my spinal cord. In recent years I have had two major emergency abdominal surgeries due to this. Both my bladder and colon are barely functioning. Besides pain, I live with nausea. Nothing more can be done.
However, friends, doctors, and others are profoundly touched and inspired by my attitude. No one can imagine, including my doctors, the nightmare they know I am living. What they hear is this...
"I have had a really hard week. Have another urinary infection. In terrible pain. Can barely make it from the bed to the bathroom. And yet...I am very blessed, for when I gaze out my windows all I can see are the beauty and vastness of hills, trees, and horse farms for miles. I have my music. And I have three loving cats that make me laugh."
Recently, one of my doctors and I were talking about this very subject...
"Adelaide, how do you keep from being depressed?"
"There are moments when I am sad and very weary, and yet, look how I have been blessed to gallop on horses I owned, had success with my art, theatre, was in demand as a speaker, loved and was loved, laughed a lot, rode in a hearse once ALIVE, and had a very full life despite being in the hospital so much. You see, I have all these things to hold onto I am so grateful for because I got to cram so much living into my journey."
"Still, don't you ever feel cheated to be where you are physically? I mean, I have never had another patient with as much wrong as you have, and yet you always come in here with a smile on your face, delighting everyone."
"Remember the Serenity Prayer? Accept the things I cannot change?" With the Serenity Prayer I learned decades ago to accept the body I am in and these daunting physical battles with it. Yeah, living in my body is terribly challenging, and yet I am grateful for the many things I still have been able to do. You see, if I were to keep focused on my glass as always being half empty, rather than keeping focused on my glass being half full, I would never be the person others would WANT to be around, or inspired by."
"By the way Adelaide did you know the Serenity Prayer is called the 'Acceptance' prayer?"
"Yep. It is also known as the Prayer Of Hope too."
As you, my readers, have read here, I have spent much of my journey in hospitals fighting my toughest battles...learning to walk again twice, many surgeries, fighting cancer, and being on cancer wards getting bone marrow treatments. And yet the dearest people I have ever known...some of the brightest experiences I have ever had, and laughter, have been while in hospitals.
What I am trying to convey, dear ones, is no matter how challenging the circumstances are, there are still the "and yets," to embrace. I have been blessed with a friend who is a quadriplegic who tells everyone, "I am paralyzed, and yet can still see and hear and make a difference in the lives of others." There is another friend who lives in a war torn country who has lost everything, who says, "and yet I still have my family and we are safe."
Your challenges may be the worst you have ever known...and yet...
Making laughter...
I have always tried to find ways to bring laughter to others, and since I spent a lot of time in hospitals with doctors, they often were on the receiving end...
When I had the spine surgery that nearly permanently paralyzed me, I had a orthopaedic surgeon with a sense of humor as wicked as mine. We would often humorously banter back and forth with each other. This is the dear surgeon who was operating on me when I had to learn to walk again the second time after major complications during surgery happened which were not his fault.
This is also the same surgeon who came to the emergency room when I had my first ever accident with a horse. Bashum and I were galloping across a field when we disturbed some huge grasshoppers, and one suddenly flew into Bashum's eye. He stumbled west, and I went flying high east...with my tailbone taking the brunt of my landing.
As I drove myself to the emergency room, I feared two things: that I seriously injured my spine which surgery had been scheduled for soon, and/or my dear surgeon was going to kill me.
He came into the room laughing hard. Very hard.
"I heard you went flying and had a rough landing!"
"Well the flying high in the air part wasn't too bad."
Still laughing hard, he said, "And you fractured your tailbone. In two places. Most people only fracture their tailbones in one place, but you tend to go the extra mile."
"I like to think big."
Though he obviously always had concerns about his unique patient flying across fields riding her horses bareback, he loved how I wasn't defined by the dwarfism...and was one hell of a fighter.
Anyway, prior to that following spine surgery I had made a sign and laminated it. I wanted to have a moment of fun even though I knew I would have already been knocked out. So on the morning of the surgery, I attached the sign I made to my back with surgical tape hidden by the hospital gown. No one knew it was there.
It wasn't until after I was on the operating table all knocked out that they turned me over. My surgeon opened the gown only to suddenly see in large block letters, "Remember...don't screw this up."
I was told later it took everyone several long moments before they could quit laughing and regain their composure.
My now retired surgeon kept the sign and still treasures it very much.
When I had the spine surgery that nearly permanently paralyzed me, I had a orthopaedic surgeon with a sense of humor as wicked as mine. We would often humorously banter back and forth with each other. This is the dear surgeon who was operating on me when I had to learn to walk again the second time after major complications during surgery happened which were not his fault.
This is also the same surgeon who came to the emergency room when I had my first ever accident with a horse. Bashum and I were galloping across a field when we disturbed some huge grasshoppers, and one suddenly flew into Bashum's eye. He stumbled west, and I went flying high east...with my tailbone taking the brunt of my landing.
As I drove myself to the emergency room, I feared two things: that I seriously injured my spine which surgery had been scheduled for soon, and/or my dear surgeon was going to kill me.
He came into the room laughing hard. Very hard.
"I heard you went flying and had a rough landing!"
"Well the flying high in the air part wasn't too bad."
Still laughing hard, he said, "And you fractured your tailbone. In two places. Most people only fracture their tailbones in one place, but you tend to go the extra mile."
"I like to think big."
Though he obviously always had concerns about his unique patient flying across fields riding her horses bareback, he loved how I wasn't defined by the dwarfism...and was one hell of a fighter.
Anyway, prior to that following spine surgery I had made a sign and laminated it. I wanted to have a moment of fun even though I knew I would have already been knocked out. So on the morning of the surgery, I attached the sign I made to my back with surgical tape hidden by the hospital gown. No one knew it was there.
It wasn't until after I was on the operating table all knocked out that they turned me over. My surgeon opened the gown only to suddenly see in large block letters, "Remember...don't screw this up."
I was told later it took everyone several long moments before they could quit laughing and regain their composure.
My now retired surgeon kept the sign and still treasures it very much.
Thursday, March 19, 2020
Secretariat and I...
Sometimes if we just put ourselves out there, the most amazing things can be ours to treasure.
As far as I know, at least from the era of horse racing legend Man O' War, if one had a way with horses here in Kentucky, they were referred to as having "The Magic." Today, this is usually referred to as one being a "horse whisperer."
Without a doubt, I knew there was Magic between my horses and I, but it wasn't until I met Secretariat, and shown in a very extraordinary way, I had Magic with other horses too. Even very famous ones.
Secretariat was indeed a racing legend, winning the 1973 Triple Crown of American horse racing, shattering records in all three of the Triple Crown races that year. However, it was the way he won the Belmont that made him a legend. He won by an astounding 31 lengths! It was unbelievable then, and still is now...for quite often horse races are won by noses and necks. Not an astounding 31 lengths!
After Secretariat retired from racing, he came to the beautiful Claiborne Horse Farm in Bourbon County Kentucky. Many MANY came to see him through the years before he became seriously ill in 1989, with the extremely painful hoof inflammation disease known as laminitis...and had to be put down. He had reached the point where he was really suffering, and no respectable farm wants that for legends or not. So at age nineteen, Secretariat galloped away leaving all who loved him in his dust.
Several years after he retired, a friend and I made the journey to see him one day. About twenty others were there too and we got in line. A semi-retired staff member was there to make sure all went well. And he needed to be there this day, for Secretariat did not appear in the mood to have visitors come to his stall. He was throwing his ears back and trying to bite each person who stood before him hoping to touch him!
My turn came. Suddenly, he pricked his ears forward, then lowered his head to my level. I began stroking his forehead and rubbing beneath his cheekbones, which horses love, and he half closed his eyes. The staff member exclaimed in awe, "You...have The Magic!"
I could only nod, because I had a huge lump in my throat. Something very special was happening here.
Since others were waiting to see Secretariat too, I had to move on. I whispered, "thank you," to him, and slowly moved away.
As soon as the poor lady next in line moved before him, he suddenly raised his head up, threw his ears back, and lunged trying to take a bite out of her...and continued the same with the rest. Secretariat loved attention. He just was not in the mood for it that day. Horses have their good days and bad days too.
While my friend and I were taking in what had just happened, we saw our dear staff person tell other Farm employees what he had just witnessed, pointing my way and exclaiming, "She's the one with The Magic!" No one even mentioned I was a Little Person...only that I have The Magic, and that, meant so much to me.
It took Secretariat to show me I not only had The Magic with my own horses, but perhaps all. And for me, this was a gift to treasure forever.
Have courage to put yourselves out there, dear ones, for the world awaits you with amazing treasures.
As far as I know, at least from the era of horse racing legend Man O' War, if one had a way with horses here in Kentucky, they were referred to as having "The Magic." Today, this is usually referred to as one being a "horse whisperer."
Without a doubt, I knew there was Magic between my horses and I, but it wasn't until I met Secretariat, and shown in a very extraordinary way, I had Magic with other horses too. Even very famous ones.
Secretariat was indeed a racing legend, winning the 1973 Triple Crown of American horse racing, shattering records in all three of the Triple Crown races that year. However, it was the way he won the Belmont that made him a legend. He won by an astounding 31 lengths! It was unbelievable then, and still is now...for quite often horse races are won by noses and necks. Not an astounding 31 lengths!
After Secretariat retired from racing, he came to the beautiful Claiborne Horse Farm in Bourbon County Kentucky. Many MANY came to see him through the years before he became seriously ill in 1989, with the extremely painful hoof inflammation disease known as laminitis...and had to be put down. He had reached the point where he was really suffering, and no respectable farm wants that for legends or not. So at age nineteen, Secretariat galloped away leaving all who loved him in his dust.
Several years after he retired, a friend and I made the journey to see him one day. About twenty others were there too and we got in line. A semi-retired staff member was there to make sure all went well. And he needed to be there this day, for Secretariat did not appear in the mood to have visitors come to his stall. He was throwing his ears back and trying to bite each person who stood before him hoping to touch him!
My turn came. Suddenly, he pricked his ears forward, then lowered his head to my level. I began stroking his forehead and rubbing beneath his cheekbones, which horses love, and he half closed his eyes. The staff member exclaimed in awe, "You...have The Magic!"
I could only nod, because I had a huge lump in my throat. Something very special was happening here.
Since others were waiting to see Secretariat too, I had to move on. I whispered, "thank you," to him, and slowly moved away.
As soon as the poor lady next in line moved before him, he suddenly raised his head up, threw his ears back, and lunged trying to take a bite out of her...and continued the same with the rest. Secretariat loved attention. He just was not in the mood for it that day. Horses have their good days and bad days too.
While my friend and I were taking in what had just happened, we saw our dear staff person tell other Farm employees what he had just witnessed, pointing my way and exclaiming, "She's the one with The Magic!" No one even mentioned I was a Little Person...only that I have The Magic, and that, meant so much to me.
It took Secretariat to show me I not only had The Magic with my own horses, but perhaps all. And for me, this was a gift to treasure forever.
Have courage to put yourselves out there, dear ones, for the world awaits you with amazing treasures.
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