READERS...

My Dear Readers,

Eighteen years ago on 1 March 2003 the man who had my heart died in a freak drowning accident.  We were to be married exactly one month later.  I am reposting the blog pieces I wrote as I shared Aiden with you.

At first writing about Aiden was hard and took awhile before I could here.  Perhaps because the past year has been such a difficult, challenging, heartshattering one for all.  But I daresay my deteriorating health with many other recent problems is why, for you see I have intense moments where I still miss him terribly and long for his presence.

As far as writing about Aiden here though, each of the five pieces I wrote became easier...cathartic.  The two I share today are fun and heartwarming.  They open a window wider of our deep bond of love.

In a previous Reader blog, I told how the bulk of all my most treasured photos of Aiden, my many dear friends, then all the theatre sets I designed, my body of artwork, The Ride...on and on...had to all very rapidly be placed in storage about three years ago due to severe damage here caused by a neighbors' careless negligence next to me (long story).  Though I was given only four days to prepare every treasure l sought to save, I carefully labeled all boxes and bags I placed these in but the men moving these to the storage facility then placed these in unlabeled industrial size bags, so I have no idea which bag has what now, nor have I had the health to go get my hands on them.  But eventually I will.  I must.

Obviously I packed up what I wanted to protect most.

Aiden's photos for one thing.  The only photo I kept of him is a small one taken not long before he died.  It is one his parents had made in a mat sealed tight inside a heavy frame behind glass sealed tight within the frame to always protect the photo.  Oh it's protected all right like Fort Knox, for to break out the photo would destroy the rest.  So I have made attempts to take a picture of the photo but there is such an intense glare from the glass the photo is obscured.

I will eventually get my hands on all of this to include here.  As shared I am working on obtaining the many television news videos, special programs, including newspaper articles with photos done on Patches and I across two states throughout our amazing Ride saga which profoundly touched thousands.  Time and the pandemic have made this difficult but NOT impossible.

Words can never express the depth of gratitude I feel with having you along on this journey with me here.

Always galloping, always soaring, 

Adelaide🐎🙂🐎💫

Long Ago And Faraway...

There are moments in our lives where it may take just a word, a place, or a song to bring the memories of cherished moments flooding back...

Long ago and far away on a dark December Sunday after Aiden and I cared for our horses, we finally made 

a stop at a old place near the farm in rural Maryland which sold antiques and all kinds of treasure.  It was a old weathered place but very warm and cozy inside.

There were a few chairs and tables too where coffee and homemade pie could be ordered.  No way would Aiden's sweet tooth ever let us pass THAT opportunity by!

The proprietors of the place, Mr. and Mrs. Shropshire obviously were quite intrigued with us being one of us was a bit unique you see.  When they then learned we BOTH had horses they were even more intrigued.  They had two questions. 

"How did the two of you meet?"

Aiden answered, "Well, my horse wouldn't let me catch her, but Adelaide's horse always comes running to her.

My horse became buddies with hers so I had no choice BUT to get to know this lady!"

Then they asked me the infamous, "How DO you get ON your horse?!!"

We had a lovely visit with the Shropshires.  Since Dr. Kopits was well known in Maryland they knew about 

his work with Little People and asked if I knew him.

"Ohhh yes, very much so.  Dr. Kopits is why I moved here.  He asked if I could for surgeries.  He is beside himself with happiness for Aiden and I.  He even has insisted on walking me down the aisle to give me away for our wedding!"

"My oh my, you two are getting married?!!  When?"

Aiden told them.  "April 1st!"

"April Fool's Day?!!"

"Of course!  Why not?  We're fools for each other!  It will be a FUN day for a wedding!  Besides, Dr. Kopits told us he's free that weekend so Adelaide and I grabbed it."

After we were done eating pie we looked all around 

the place.  And that's when Aiden saw it.  A lovely old brass and glass music box.  After he wound it and pressed the little lever the sweet tinkling purring music box melody of "Unchained Melody" poured out filling the air and filling our hearts.  We looked at each other in wordless wonder for "Unchained Melody" was one of OUR songs.

We HAD to buy it.  Only the Shropshires wouldn't hear 

of us paying for the music box.  They dearly insisted on giving it to us for a wedding gift!  We were SO touched.

Then they had one more question.  Since they were aware of the cruel ridicule Little People live with they wondered how we dealt with it.

I explained it was because I lived with cruel ridicule all my life, obviously I was more "used" to it than Aiden.  It really was hard for him and understandably so to see and hear what the non-humans were capable of doing.

It was a challenge for him to ignore such behavior for everything within him wanted only to protect me.  He too had to learn ignoring is the only way. 

I miss him so.  Yet oh, how I treasure the time we had.

I still have that precious music box.  For years I could hardly touch it.  Every now and then though I play it's sweet soft melody so dear to my heart.💕🎶

Oh my love, my darling

I've hungered for your touch

A long lonely time

And time goes by so slowly 

And time can do so much

Are you still mine

I need your love

I need your love

God speed your love to me

Lonely rivers flow to the sea to the sea

To the open arms of the sea

Lonely rivers sigh wait for me wait for me

I'll be coming home wait for me

Oh my love, my darling

I've hungered for your touch

A long lonely time

And time goes by so slowly 

And time can do so much

Are you still mine

I need your love

I need your love

God speed your love to me

The Gift From Aiden...

Long ago and far away one year my dear Aiden, an architect, had to be in Cheyenne, Wyoming for a project.  It was to wrap up on 22 December then he would fly home.  Only Mother Nature and Wyoming weather had other plans by unleashing a huge snowstorm.  Flights were cancelled.  Suddenly it was beginning to appear he wouldn't be able to get home for Christmas.

We did not have major plans for the holiday other than spending time with friends and his parents.  Yet the prospect of him having to spend Christmas either in a airport or a hotel room alone was not a happy one.

When we talked the morning of 23 December Aiden said, "Adelaide honey, I found something here I just 

HAD to get you for Christmas and I got it shipped out

before the snowstorm.  It will get there sometime tomorrow but probably late.  Please stay home to be there when it arrives, okay?  The package is kind of large."

"Let me guess...it's a wild horse?!!"😂

"Well, not exactly but knowing you I'm sure you will find the gift great fun!  You will love it!  I can't believe what the guy was asking so I got it for you.  I just couldn't resist!"

"My you sure have intrigued me!"🤔

"I want you to be sure to open the shipping box after it arrives just to make sure the inner gift box is in decent condition so I will feel at peace knowing my gift for you is okay."

"A MINIATURE HORSE!"😂

"Not exactly." 

"All right, my dear one.  I'll give you a call right away to let you know the package arrived.  Do they know if there is any chance of getting a flight yet before Christmas?"

"Doesn't look like it at all.  But I'll be okay.  Not exactly the way we expected to spend Christmas this year."

"I know dahlin, I know.  My heart aches for you.  The Four Wheeler we've been talking about getting?!!"🤔

"You crack me up so much!  Uh no."

"You're really not going to spill the beans on this are you?!!"🙄

"Not if I can help it!  By the way the food is great here."

"Well I am sure glad of that!  Especially if you're stuck somewhere during Christmas away from my cooking."

"I know!"

"IT'S A HOT AIR BALLOON!!!"😂

"A HOT AIR BALLOON?!!  NO!  By the way how are Patches and Sierra doing?"

"Missing you too.  While I'm thinking of it be sure to 

call your parents.  If I let you win at Scrabble for a month will you tell..."

"Very tempting...but...NO."🤣

"Okay.  I give up.  I know when I'm defeated...

...uh...

...mini bikes for us both?!!"😂

"I love you to pieces!"💕

"And I love YOU to pieces, my dear!"💕

Sooooo, on Christmas Eve evening as it began to snow heavily the package Aiden sent arrived.  It suddenly  made me miss him terribly.

I put on Christmas music then finished wrapping packages for his parents we were giving them.

Finally I dutifully began opening the outer package as promised.  There was a hell of a lot of paper packing in this thing.

And then, AND THEN, THE FRIGGIN PAPER BEGAN MOVING!😱

IT...WAS...

[DRUMROLL PLEASE]

...AIDEN!💫💕⭐😍⭐💕💫

But he scared the hell out of me!  He always claimed I blurted out not an "I love you," or not a "I'm so very happy and excited to see you," either.

No, he says I very lovingly instead blurted out... 

"AWW HELL!!!  IT'S...IT'S...YOUUUUU!"😳

Well any of YOU would have been shocked too!!!🤣

After we hugged BIG HUGE HUGS AND KISSES I managed to calm back down from shock to sheer bursting joy.  Now THIS was Christmas Magic!👍💫

Aiden explained the snowstorm eased and there was a window when he could get a flight out of Wyoming to Maryland. 

While waiting he had an idea.💡  He thought what a way it would be to surprise me. (It worked!😂)

Aiden had a buddy who owed him a favor who just HAPPENED to work for one of the national delivery companies who really got caught up in the joy of getting to help pull off the Christmas Surprise of a lifetime too.

Tim picked Aiden up at the airport then they put together the package with air holes.  Not far from our house Tim sealed Aiden inside.

Aiden wondered if I ever was going to open the box!

THEN, it hit him I may need something long and sharp to open the box with!  Something he hadn't thought about!🤣

And I did need to use something sharp but thankfully grabbed the small pair of scissors I was using to wrap those gifts with.😃👍💫

So this became the very special Christmas Gift of a lifetime.🎄⭐😂💕💫

But alas...not a HOT AIR BALLOON!!!😂

The Devastating Accident...

Since I understandably have been asked what happened to Aiden's horse Sierra after he died, 

and about the accident too, I shall touch on these today.  

It is still very emotionally hard for me to revisit the accident even after all these years.

Aiden loved scuba diving.  Like most roller coasters, scuba diving was also something we could not do together due to my lack of height, though I so would have loved to do these.  Yet we did snorkel together when we could.

While on a business trip to Florida Aiden stayed an extra day so he could go scuba diving at a place he had been to once before.  He had taken his scuba diving suit along, but of course needed to rent an oxygen tank.

Alone, Aiden was diving not far offshore.  Because he failed to return after the oxygen tank would have become empty, divers immediately went out looking for him in the area he was diving.  

We will never know exactly what happened, but something went wrong with the oxygen tank and apparently he became incapacitated before he could surface and died.  Tears are running down my cheeks writing this.  It's the not knowing what he went through and the terror he must have had. 

Because we were living together the coroner in Florida contacted the coroner in the city we lived, who came to break the news to me, in addition to needing more information.  The worst moment of my life.  It then fell upon me to inform his dear parents.

Aiden's parents lived in another town.  Because 

it was after 10pm and I was alone and not in any shape to make the long drive, I had no choice but 

to call them.  Until I got them BOTH on the phone, 

I tried to sound as normal as I could.  Yet they immediately knew something was wrong by a 

catch they heard in my voice.

It was one of the hardest things I ever had to do.

We broke down.

Somehow in the midst of profound sorrow with 

the blur of days, arrangements were made and a Memorial Service was held.  

Aiden's parents then drove to Florida because they wanted to see exactly where he died and talk to all who were there that day.  And to be taken out in a boat to spread rose petals where he was found.

There was no question BUT that Sierra would remain with Patches and under my care.  Sierra was nineteen at the time.  One day when she was twenty-two I called their names as usual, and only Patches came.  Immediately I knew something wasn't right, and got on Patches to find her.  

I found her laying on her side.  Thankfully Sierra appeared to have gone peacefully, with no signs of struggle, colic or other things.  The vet said her heart just stopped.  She even had a mouthful of grass she had been chewing.  I could envision the two galloping across the stars, and that FINALLY, Sierra was letting Aiden catch her to ride.🤩💫

Obviously Aiden's death was the most devastating on his parents and myself.  Especially when I had to cancel all our wedding arrangements.  The day of what would have been our wedding day a month after he died was especially traumatic.

Though I remained very close to Aiden's parents and we would talk each week for the remainder of their lives, soon after Sierra died a theatre needed me and off Patches and I went for what became my last theatre job and final move due to my failing health.

Aiden's father really had a difficult time with losing his son and as I later learned, grieved terribly for me and the lifetime together Aiden and I were to share now gone, knowing how happy and in love we were.  Four years after Aiden died his father had a massive heartattack and passed away.

Aiden's mother sold the house and moved into an independent care type home.  Later she was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and although 

she gave it a hard fight, she lost her battle.

My heart still aches with the intense deep sadness of losing the one I loved so deeply and always will.  Yet I am profoundly grateful for the time we had.  

Some have often asked why I don't feel cheated by having had so many heartbreaking losses and challenges my whole life, besides all the physical ones too.  They say I could easily be excused for feeling anger and bitterness.  Perhaps, but I saw at a very young age how anger and bitterness destroy people, causing terrible pain, fear, and anguish for a innocent child and resolved to never let these have power to destroy me too.

And I haven't.  As my journey hopefully attests, no matter what I have lived through and continue to I have borne my pain without losing heart.  May you all find the inspiration and strength to do the same.  

One thing I have learned most on this journey of mine is courage must be held tight in our grasp so we do not lose heart.  

This is why I live embracing courage with all I have within.💫 

When I Captured Aiden's Heart...

When I began this blog it took me quite sometime before I could write about him.  Each of the now five times I did became easier to write.  Sharing him here has been cathartic.

Though eighteen years have past since he drowned in a freak accident a month before we were to be married, at times it is still so painfully hard.  I miss him SO MUCH.  He is in my thoughts always.  And forever in my heart.  I even continue to wear the diamond engagement ring with our two wedding bands we would have exchanged for the wedding.

I so miss the what our journey together would have been.  Sweet memories I have many of but I still miss him terribly.  We laughed a LOT.  Finished each others sentences.  We were absolutely crazy about each other and loved being together.😃💕🐎

Aiden was a year older than me.  My birthday is the 11th of April and his was the 16th of April.  We loved having those five days we were the same age, even celebrating this on the 13th for fun.  Also we had chosen the 1st of April for our wedding!😂

Aiden was my 5'11" true love and I his.  We met through our horses.  My horse Patches came running to me at the sound of my voice but Aiden's horse Sierra played hard to get with him.  So when Patches and Sierra became buddies she came to me too.  Sierra didn't play hard to get with me like she did with Aiden, and it wasn't long before he began hearing from other boarders how Sierra came galloping right to ME when Patches did.  Aiden soon realized he REALLY needed to meet me and coordinate our schedules to ride, which we did.  In the process we fell deeply in love.💕

We both had never found the right one before we met yet we were both also living very busy lives with our respective careers too.  Many assume Little People marry other Little People and this often is the case.  But you see I've never exactly been an average Little Person either.😂

Obviously we talked about what lay ahead for me physically where I now am.  I had concerns for burdening him, he quickly made clear was not how HE thought.  I will never forget his words.  He said, "I would rather be with you and take care of you when we come to that place than think of NOT getting to spend my life with you."💕💫

So we plunged forth!  (You see he learned that from me too😂).

Anyway, Aiden was an only child.  While his parents were concerned he still hadn't found that special one, when he did date a number of women along the way and would take one home to meet his parents they were often VERY relieved when the relationship didn't work out.🤣

Eventually Patches and I came along though and the time came for ME to meet his parents.  A few days before we were to have dinner with his parents at their home I asked Aiden if he had told them yet I was a Little Person.  He hadn't.😱

Whenever I humorously would add a third syllable to his name he knew I was either seriously about to change his mind regarding a matter or about to contest one of his infamous words he used playing Scrabble with (trying to beat me😂).  Or perhaps the amount of rent I owed when landing on his Monopoly property (which HE won a lot🤣).

"Now Aiden-thon my dear one, giving your parents a heads-up I am a bit more unique than others may be far more appreciated than you think.  Trust me on this, they need time to digest who their son will be bringing home."

"But you told me how you learned not to tell people in advance when you interview for a job or something."

"Yes, that's true.  However THIS scenario my dear, is quite a different one than that.  THIS involves love.  And respect.  Your parents deserve to know in advance I am a bit height challenged."  

"Adelaide, I really don't know what their reaction will be."

"Ohhh, I know.  Believe me, I understand."

"Will you sit next to me when I call them?"

"Whatever you need.  Remember, you've got the courage within you to do this.  Most of all these are your loving parents regardless.  Keep holding onto that.  You CAN do this dear."

"You're right."

And he did.  Later his parents told us regarding this call they heard something different in his voice as he told them about me:  they could hear he had really fallen in love which made them especially look forward to meeting me.  His parents were also very grateful I had Aiden make that call too, allowing them to know about my uniqueness in advance because it conveyed such thoughtfulness to them.  WE were grateful too.😃

Often when I first meet people they are very concerned they may say the wrong thing to the point I feel they think I will break at any moment 

or they will, so I use humor to put people at ease.  

It so happened Aiden's parents smoked and I noticed the ash trays.  I said, "I heard smoking was shown to stunt one's growth."  

For a brief moment they looked at me in complete surprise, then burst into laughter.  They loved it!

In fact they laughed their heads off all evening hearing my dwarf humor, my theatre stories, and of course my funny horse stories.  They also learned from Aiden all about my challenging journey and were both incredibly touched and inspired by my courage. 

When they learned how we met they loved this.  After I asked Aiden's Mom for his favorite recipes she was thrilled.  None of the previous ladies Aiden took home ever did that you see.😂

So the time came to part.  Loving hugs abounded.

We hadn't gone a mile before Aiden's phone rang with his Dad telling him if he didn't marry me they would disown him. 

And believe me, that my dear ones, was sweet to us...oh so very sweet.💕🐎😃🐎💕

Those Stepstool Moments...

[My dear Readers, by sharing this piece and my entire blogging journey here you now hold in your grasp an awareness many never will.  For this I am profoundly grateful for you.]

There come these very brief moments at times when 

I'm standing on one of my many step stools, where I will pause thinking how very different my life would have been if I had just those few additional inches.  Indeed it would have been.  Yet I don't have those inches so I embrace what I do have with my attitude of gratitude and innate sense of positivity.

Along the way on this amazing journey of mine I have been asked, "What do you hate most about being a Little Person?"

Obviously, the thing I/we Little People hate the most 

is the worsening invasive ridicule while being followed, chanted "midget" to, and having our images rudely taken on cellphones and uploaded to disgusting websites.  To these non-humans we are an object.  We have no humanity.  THIS, is what I/we hate more than any inconvenience.  THIS, is what we would change if we could change anything at all. 

Sadly, there are some Little People who do the Jerry Springer type shows, demeaning not only themselves but us all.  For you see the non-humans seeing this assume we ALL are like that.  Well, we're not.  

The ONLY thing we Little People ever have in common with each other is the fact we're short with a form of dwarfism.  Period.

We are doctors, lawyers, accountants, marketing executives, teachers, architects, secretaries, social workers, actors, writers, musicians, artists, and even one theatre scene designer/artist/who galloped on her horses for decades.  

Many of us have achieved a lot.  Yet none of this matters when we contend with the non-humans.  To them, we're "the scum of the earth, the slime of the sea, the lowest form of humanity."  I cannot tell you how many times I have had those words chanted to me while surrounded by non-humans.

Trust me, we're not slime.  We're not scum.  And definitely not the lowest form of humanity.  I know this because I walk TALL with my head held high.  No one is taking that away from me.

Often people come up to me and preface what they are  respectfully curious about asking by first saying, "I can't help but notice you are a Little Person."  

Thankfully I have one hell of a sense of humor and usually respond with, "Oh crap!  I didn't realize my dwarfism was showing today!  Is it really THAT noticeable?!!"

It then takes a brief moment for them to realize what a sense of humor this Little Person has who is happy to answer their questions.  I consider it as my Public Relations work on behalf of us all because for every person I/we may patiently educate, they will share the positive encounter they had with others.  It may be a drop in the bucket but it is one where the door of our humanity gets opened wider.

Someday...maybe...just maybe that door will at last be thrown wide open forever.💫

The Purple Shoe...

Remember my recent blog detailing how my fellow ten Scene Painting class members and myself went plunging down a snow covered Mt. Everest of hills following our last class together?  In it I also described 

where our profession took each of the nine guys and two ladies.

About fourteen years after we plunged down Mt. Everest which was the last time we were all together,

Damien who landed a Scene Design position after he interned at a prestigious theatre in Seattle sought my help for a large scale production.  He needed my gift for being able to recreate an exact scene on a massive flat without the need for a grid system which can take more time.

It so happened I had just gone through my first two spine surgeries and the stay in the Pediatric Cancer Ward AND a theatre internship TWICE because of all the unexpected hospital delays.  Even learning how to walk again two times.  Yet I made it.  I had been hired by a theatre but I wouldn't start the position for another 

two months to begin the sets for their new following season.  Damien needed me for roughly six weeks so the timing was perfect.

Since most of us remained close keeping in touch we knew what was going on with each other.  Which is why Damien knew I was available.  So at Damien's request his theatre flew me to Seattle.🎭

Damien and his partner Logan had a huge house insisting I stay with them.  I jumped at the chance for more reasons than one because you see, Damien and 

I were the ones in the group who were either causing the others to have laughter hysterics or the instigators of fun activities like the plunging down Mt. Everest.  We were also damn good at getting the others to do these crazy things.  

So when everyone heard Damien and Adelaide would 

be at a theatre together in Seattle they just KNEW stuff would happen.  Said they'd all have to watch the national evening news broadcasts because we were sure to be in the news during my time there.😂

Actually we were so busy the first three weeks, other than entertaining those around us by regaling them with stories of our antics while we were hard at work making theatre magic happen with the amazing sets we were both creating.🎭

By the end of three weeks Damien and Logan wanted to take me out for dinner one night.  Not just any place, but...The Sky City Revolving Restaurant located on top of The Space Needle.

On this night Damien wanted to go in drag which I certainly had no problem with as I had seen him in 

drag countless times.  I only mention this detail at all because you see Damien wore his new expensive designer high heel PURPLE shoes, but please do not expect me to tell you which fancy designer as I am far more knowledgeable about the shoes of horses than I ever am about shoes for hoomans costing more than a whole year's worth of board payments for my horses.  Besides, I always suspected Damien's REAL reason for taking me to the Revolving Restaurant in the Sky was only to show off his brand new PURPLE high heel 

shoes for all to see.🤣

The guys had made a reservation for the three of us.  As we were being led to our table by the window you can imagine how many fancy well dressed diners went agog while holding food on their forks which suddenly stopped midway to their mouths at the amazing once in a lifetime sight appearing before them of a dwarf dressed like a hippie wearing a flowing PURPLE and black skirt, a tall striking man in a PURPLE tuxedo with his partner dressed to the nines in a PURPLE dress wearing matching PURPLE high heel shoes.

After we were seated Logan had quite the serious observation he made.  "Did you two happen to notice the ways people here were staring at us?"

Damien and I who each had just taken a large gulp of water burst into hysterical laughter.  I just missed getting sprayed by Damien's mouthful seated across from him, while my mouthful could have drenched dear Logan...didn't...thanks to my sitting much lower in my seat than they did.

Had Damien not been buying my dinner I can tell you I would have had to order soup.  However since he was buying I also ordered Lobster as they did.👏🤩👏

The meal for me was exquisite.  Midway through the meal as Logan and I were deep in a discussion about the meaning of life Damien suddenly leaned down looking beneath the table but neither Logan or I thought anything was unusual. 

Now the guys were excited to take me to a fancy lounge with the greatest music ever following our meal.  But as we were finishing our lobsters Damien very anxiously    alerted Logan and I about a serious problem.  And I mean this was serious because Damien was choking back tears.

"Logan...Adelaide...as we were enjoying our meal I slipped my shoes off!"

He was struggling.

"Awhile ago when you two were talking about the meaning of life and all that shit I accidentally knocked one of my shoes onto that little ledge thingie above the wheel making this place revolve!"

As I dived beneath the table, "Where Damien?  I don't 

see it.  What 'ledge thingie?'"

"Dahlin' that's just it...we have to stay here revolving until we reach the place where I can retrieve my shoe!"

"But Damien, how do you know where that is?"

"See the mural of the Cascade Mountains?"

"Uh, yes."

"See those two mountains close together?  That's where my shoe is resting."

Logan asked what I thought was a very sensible question, "But Damien, all we have to do is tell our waiter..."

"NO!"

"Why?"

"I spent a fortune on those shoes!  All it would take is the slightest nudge and POOF!  My beautiful shoe could be gone forever!  No, we're waiting.  Please?"

"Damien, of course Logan and I will stay.  We have to because you're the only one who can drive your car with its stickshift so we're stuck."

The only slight problem with Damien's plan is the fact the Sky Restaurant was exceptionally crowded that night you see.  Already the Maitre-d and our waiter were eyeing our table as a crowd of people waited to get a table.

The waiter approached our table.  "Sir, would you like your check now?"

"No thank you," said Damien. "If you don't mind we'd like to order coffee and see your Dessert  Menu, please."

As soon as the waiter departed Logan blurted out, "But Damien all three of us are stuffed!  Where are we going to put our desserts?" 

"Adelaide's purse!"

"NOT in Adelaide's purse, thank you."

"Well then in our bras."

"Damien, you're the one here wearing boobs like Dolly Parton, not me!"

When the waiter returned with the Dessert choices heading for Damien's bra I thought to ask a highly important question the guys hadn't considered yet.

"Sir, out of curiosity exactly how long does it take for the Restaurant to make each cycle?"

"Approximately forty-five minutes."

So we decided if we ordered one dessert while sipping the coffee slowly we may just be able to pull this off.

We ordered some kind of delicious Five Chocolate Cheesecake.

Midway through this dessert as the two mountains were coming round the bend, "Uh Damien, I've got to 

go pee."

"You can't Adelaide, not now."

"Why not?"

"Because you're so short you need to dive under the table with me in case you need to get where I can't."

"Just so you know there is a very strong possibility you may get wet."

So during the time remaining with military precision planning Damien drew on a cloth napkin what needed to happen after we dived beneath the table.  He was X.  I was Y.

Logan who was Z, cried out, "What the hell am I'm going to look like sitting here alone after people see you two suddenly dive under the table?!!"

This never got addressed you see because suddenly those two mountains were very near.

"Adelaide, DIVE!"

So Adelaide DIVED!

And it was a good thing Adelaide did dive too.  For the PURPLE High Heel shoe on a ledge thingie was exactly where only someone of my height could reach anyway.

As I popped up holding the PURPLE shoe high in the 

air like a trophy on my side of the table and Damien popped up on his side letting a rather loud cheer escape, there stood our waiter and the Maitre-d.

Uh oh.

"Is there a problem here?"

"Yes, I need to pee!  Meanwhile ask the dude with the PURPLE shoe I just threw at him what's going on."😂

When They Ran Into Me...

When working in Theatre one may often meet some of the famous along the way and my life has happened to cross paths with a few...

One year Mikhail Baryshnikov, the amazing ballet star was on tour and came to the performing arts center I worked for.  His performance had long been sold out.

Prior to the performance when life backstage can really get crazy the two of us passed each other.  The first was Baryshnikov and a entourage of people around him while I with brushes in my hands and paint on my face was in a rush.

The second time he was alone and stopped me.  He said, "I could not help but notice you."

I responded with my usual humour by saying, "Oh crap!  Is it because of the paint on my face?!!"

And he burst out laughing.  We briefly chatted then Baryshnikov asked, "Will you be staying for the performance?"

"I plan to watch it from the wings!  Wouldn't miss it for the world!"

And I was there.

After Baryshnikov's performance he was given roses and more than one standing ovation.  As the curtains finally fell he gave me a rose saying, "This is for meeting you and THIS is for the paint you still have on your face."  And THAT was a kiss!

Another performer I was so blessed to meet was 

the dear actor Harold Gould.  He starred in many stage, television, and film productions including one of my favorites, "The Sting."  Mr. Gould came 

to town starring in a stage production.

We met backstage when he couldn't find the way 

to his dressing room.  Being a Little Person throws wide open the door for conversations one normally would not get to have.  Mr. Gould said, "I can't help but notice you are a Little Person!"

"Oh REALLY?!!  Is it THAT noticeable?!!"

He laughed quite hard.

Then we had the nicest conversation.  It turns out he also loved horses.  As soon as he learned about mine he asked, "How DO you get ON your horse?!!"  (I am asked this SO much if I ever write a book that question should be the title)😂

After the performance we had coffee and a very delightful conversation together in his hotel lounge talking about life, dreams, art, "The Sting," and horses before going our separate ways.

The next person I am going to share here is someone most of you may have never heard of, however, those who know theatre will know of this incredible lady, Betty Comden.  

Ms. Comden's writing partnership with Adolph Green was the longest one in theatre history lasting an astounding six decades.  They provided the lyrics and screenplays to some of the most beloved Hollywood musicals and Broadway shows ever.  "Singing In The Rain" is just ONE of them.

How we met is really funny.  In New York on a crowded street in the Theatre District one day where I was in a Scene Design Workshop there

a lady literally ran right smack into me almost knocking me over.  This happens to Little People 

a lot you see when people not expecting a hooman 

to be way down here will plow right into us.😱

Immediately as she began profusely apologizing I blurted out, "You're Betty Comden!  WOW, it is such a pleasure to meet you!"  Which then shocked the hell out of HER because people usually had no idea what Comden and Green even looked like.  I knew because of my passion for and minor in Theatre History.  I was thrilled to meet her!  Ms. Comden was flattered.

Both of us had a free moment so we went to a nearby coffee shop spending a very delightful time talking theatre, Set Design, art, dreams, poetry, jewelry, horses.  "Dear, if you don't mind me asking how DO you get ON your horse?!!"😂

Though I have met other famous people I am only going to share one more here.  And believe me this is someone known worldwide.  None other than Colonel Harland Sanders himself creator of Kentucky Fried Chicken whose home was close to the farm where I boarded some of my horses.

We first met when he was the Grand Marshall of a 

small town parade close to the farm which my pony and I were riding in.  As soon as The Colonel saw me he rushed over.  He was quite intrigued saying, "Why you're one of those little ones aren't you?"

"Oh crap!  I didn't think it was showing today!"

He got a huge kick out of my humor.

So a few months later one day as I was riding my pony Sadie off farm a limo suddenly pulled up beside us.  It was Colonel Sanders who recognized me because my dwarfism was STILL showing.🤣

"Little One, I told Miss Claudia (his wife) about you and she would just love to meet you.  Can you come on up to our place?  PLEEZE?"

How could I possibly turn The Colonel down?  Sadie and I headed up to their place where The Colonel and Miss Claudia were waiting.  They had been married for decades and clearly adored each other.  And they both had a question they wanted to ask.  "Honey, HOW DO you get ON your horses?"

That became the first of several very delightful visits where we sipped tea and talked.

But knowing how fiercely The Colonel was known for guarding the secret of his very famous Kentucky Fried Chicken recipe I knew better than to EVER dare ask what was in it regardless of how darn 

cute The Colonel said he thought I was.😂

                                   Baryshnikov 

                                   Harold Gould

                             Betty Comden

                         Colonel Harland Sanders 

Meet Oakey Doak [doe-ack]...

My horse Bashum was a lovely paint horse and like all of mine I loved him dearly.  

And Bashum and I just happened to acquire a very special friend that hated the color RED who attached himself to us...

  

One of my fellow boarders had purchased some goats and kept them in a pen near the barn.  Only one of them decided HE preferred being with Bashum instead and kept escaping from the pen to be with him.  Until finally he was with Bashum for good.

I had a feeling this would be coming...one day I received a call from John who owned the goats.

"Adelaide, how are you doing?"

"Hanging in there!  And YOU?"

"I'm doing the same."

Then silence.

"Uh John, what's up?"

"Well...I uh...you see...uh...someone bought my goats...but since I couldn't catch the one attached to Bashum I decided to give him to YOU.  Besides EVERYONE is saying it would be SUCH a terrible shame to separate those two anyway..."

So this is how Adelaide became the proud owner of a very obsessed little black goat who absolutely hated the colour RED which by the way you should remember.  I named him Oakey Doak (from a song about a horse named Oakey Doak who did not have a problem with RED).  To be honest I had already grown very attached to the little squirt anyway.  Obviously Bashum adored him.  It was so charming to call Bashum when I would arrive at the farm and see him galloping to me with dear little Oakey Doak coming right behind him as fast as he could.

Oakey Doak went everywhere Bashum and I rode.  Though off the farm I often limited the distances out of concern for the little one.   

Often well meaning people would stop and ask if I knew there was a goat following us.  DUH.

Now goats can sometimes be territorial and Oakey Doak was no exception.  He would go bonkers if he saw his reflection in a shiny car which then meant attacking it with his little horns.  None of us at the farm had shiny cars you see so I didn't know Oakey Doak had this burning desire to seriously injure his reflection until the very first time this happened (thankfully without any damage!) to someone's Mercedes which DEFINITELY was not at the farm.  From then on I kept him on a lead rope while riding off farm.  

Remember now if I haven't made this clear yet Oakey Doak hated the color RED.

Sometime after I acquired the little goat my friend Rory and his horse Ben went riding with us one day on these amazing trails which opened up into this vast park with a huge lake.  It was July 4th.  

Remember that...July 4th.

When Rory and I, our horses, and a very cute goat who hates RED arrived at the park where horses (and goats) were allowed, we encountered a huge group of people having a picnic.  The kids not used to seeing horses all came running over to us in this huge wave of squealing.

Very LOUDLY squealing.  

This in turn terribly frightened the horses.  As usual I was riding bareback so when Bashum suddenly made a very high sideways leap of terror I very heroically managed to stay on.  

But...BUT I dropped Oakey Doak's lead rope!  And it's July 4th when people tend to wear RED, white, and blue!

In extremely quick succession Oakey Doak saw a massive amount of RED and realized he wasn't restrained anymore.  Rory quickly sizing up the situation threw me Ben's reins, jumped off, and ran after Oakey Doak.

Thankfully Oakey Doak happened to be a very small goat which we had in our favor.  Next, all the kids especially those who were dressed in bright RED thought the little goat was playing some kind of fun "goat tag" with them and were loving it!

Finally Rory was able to step on the lead rope as it went flying by at one point and was able to stop Oakey Doak before he could inflict serious damage to anyone's RED clothing.

As all the adults watching the action unfold before them were roaring with laughter, I realized they were blissfully oblivious as to how serious the situation as a whole was.  Because you see their barbecue suddenly left unattended at a critical moment would have been ruined had I not very urgently directed their attention to this. 

By the time Oakey Doak's lead rope was safely 

back in my hand there was thankfully only one casualty.  A kid's RED T-shirt was missing a section out of it.  However no one minded because they said the goat and horses were SO entertaining and Rory and I so nice.  In fact they even invited us to join them for a barbecue dinner!  We politely declined as we thought it best to get Oakey Doak home before anything else happened.  Though they did insist upon taking pictures of the goat, horses and us with EVERYONE before we left!

So somewhere out there in the world may be a photo in an album of two horses, their riders, and a very cute little black goat with a section of RED T-shirt hanging from his mouth surrounded by a very lovely bunch of people.🐎😂🐎🐐

When Love Stepped In...

That which doesn't break us makes us stronger.

I have touched on briefly the horrors of my childhood, focusing more on the friends and bright aspects of my young journey instead.  Today I am opening that door wider.  Yet what this especially shows is not so much the sorrow of abuse but the sheer determination I had to not let it define me.  Also how the miracles of my four mentor friends being there when needed most to love me on my way.  And did they ever.

As a child the way my "missing" mother handled my being gawked at was to constantly "hiss" to me, "It's all your fault!  You're the reason they're staring at us!" 

What is a child in my body supposed to do with that?

I had to hear it constantly and have it pointed out to 

me how it was all my fault for something I had no way of changing.  I cannot begin to put into words the helplessness and humiliation I felt inside.  Later when my mentor friend Joseph came up with The Dwarf Card this is why I was able to free myself and rise above what was instilled so deeply in me.

As I touched on here previously my alcoholic father took me deep into a woods one winter when I was five with the intent to abandon me.  After he drove away he realized what he was doing and returned.  Yet I never forgot that terror and feeling of abandonment because 

I KNEW he was abandoning me.

The violence through the years was never ending.  Drunken beatings for no reason and I always felt the dwarfism was why.  Since I never knew the direction my father's rages would take, what may work one time to keep him from as much violence would not work the next, so I lived in constant fear.

When I was young and began crying his rage became worse so I made myself stifle my tears.  I was a young adult before my four mentor friends helped me learn how to cry and feel safe crying.  Eventually I could finally get all the painful sorrow of the years out.

They also had to show me what it was like to be touched GENTLY too for at first I would literally cringe when touched and pull back.  Yet at the same time I was starved for hugs and loving words.  Nora, the devil she could be at times really went out of her way to keep hugging me determined to free me from cringing when touched, and believe me she did.  Soon it was hard to believe I ever cringed when touched because I began making up for lost time hugging them!

I was seventeen when my father went into his last drunken rage badly injuring me.  The more I tried to fight back the worse he became.  As soon as I could I called Ella who immediately came to get me late at night and I left.  Since Ella lived out of my school district and I had yet to finish high school Jackie's elderly mother had a room available so I stayed there.

I believe in miracles because my art is what threw open the door to the dearest friends I could possibly have who were there when I needed help the most.  Just very special people who cared.  And loved.  They would say I am the reason miracles unfolded in my journey but I believe they are.

Gibran wrote, "The deeper sorrow carves into our soul the more joy we attain."

Though the often horrific sorrows of my childhood deeply carved into my soul, my courage and resolve with the miracles of four very special mentor friends 

are why I soared and attained joy.  

Oh, so much joy!🐎💕💫

Daddy Don't Leave Me...

Webster's Dictionary says the definition for forgiveness is:  the act of forgiving someone or something; the attitude of someone who is willing to forgive.

Briefly, as I have touched on here my parents drank, were insecure, did not know how to deal with my dwarfism, were violent, mean a lot, fought constantly, and very unhappy.  

Had it not been for my dear mentor/adoptive parent/friends and my fierce determination to rise above and beyond the horrors and sorrows of my childhood, I never would have been able to become who I am accomplishing all I have.  For the deeper sorrow carves us from within the more we may attain by not letting our sorrow define who we are and all we can be.

And sorrow carved me deeply.  Yet there is a touching story here.

I love music.  However, there is one song that ripped me apart when it came out.  "Daddy Don't You Walk So Fast," hit the charts in the early seventies.  Some of the words are, "Daddy don't you walk so fast, Daddy slow down some because you're making me run, Daddy don't you leave me..."

When I was almost five my father took me deep into a woods late one day.  I was struggling so hard to keep up with him and the faster he walked the further behind I was getting.  I remember screaming, "Daddy don't walk so fast!  Daddy slow down I can't keep up!"  Then after I got caught in a huge patch of brambles and couldn't get free I cried "Daddy don't leave me!"

There is a reason why I seldom revisit this and it is because I can still feel the terror and abandonment my five year old self was feeling.  He left me.  Years later he told me because he couldn't deal with the dwarfism and what people thought of him having a kid like this, besides wondering what my life would be like...he felt he had to make me disappear.  So on that day when he got really drunk he took me to this woods in winter with the intent to abandon 

me there.

I was screaming for him to return.  Then it began getting dark.  And cold.  I was terrified.  And I KNEW he had abandoned me.  I cried for my baby sitter I wrote about here earlier.

He told me he got in the car and was speeding away.  Something caught his attention.  It was my tattered stuffed horse I carried everywhere on the seat next to him.  Suddenly it hit him, "What the hell am I doing?!!"  

At first when my father reached the woods he didn't know how to find me.  Then he heard faint crying and followed the sound until he found me.  Though I was happy and relieved he came back that terror of abandonment never left.

Soon after from when I was six to nine, the fighting between my parents worsened.  And the drinking.  My father would avoid coming home and go out drinking while my mother was at home drinking and angry.  She constantly started fights.  I would beg her to please not start a fight when he came home but she never listened.  He would come home, there would be a violent fight, he would storm out of the house with me running after him crying for him to stop and to please not leave.  I would run after his car.  Again and again.  But he never stopped.  I had begun detaching myself from both of them anyway.  I began severing myself from them even at that age.

After I became an adult and lived quite a distance from where they did my father began showing up drunk and begging to talk.  This period is when he began pouring things out.  He had deep regret and begged my forgiveness.  The only thing was though, I had buried all the horrors.  I had to because I was struggling through spine surgeries, walking again, cancer wards, college, and working hard.  Suddenly I was faced with all the things I buried.

However one of my dear mentor friends helped me come to terms with my father.  Joseph, who helped me with the "Dwarf Card" (in "The greatest gift" blog) helped me focus on the positives regarding my father.  At first I thought he was crazy.  Positives?!!   But he was right.  There were.  My father was an incredibly gifted pianist for one thing.  Felix Mendelssohn is my great, great, great uncle.  His sister Fanny, my great, great, great grandmother who was also a composer, was married to Wilhelm Hensel, an artist.  Their father who some say I look alike was Moses Mendelssohn, the philosopher.   

My father's siblings and parents were all gifted musicians.  Joseph helped me take pride in my heritage.  He taught me to embrace what the sorrows of my childhood did by carving me into an amazing person because of my courage and determination.

Due to my father's years of drinking when he passed away at sixty he looked as if he were in his nineties.  I saw him for the final time a few months before he died and our talk was a good one.  We both felt sad though for all the things destroyed by the drinking, but at least we had made a peace.  I could forgive.  

Daddy don't you walk so fast.  My father had at last walked slowly enough so I could reach him and finally place my hand into his...

Flying Down A Steep Snow Covered Mountain...

WHOO HOO HOOOOOOOO," all twelve of us yelled after cramming ourselves together onto a large slick section of vinyl flooring we borrowed from the Scene Design Shop to plunge down the Mt. Everest of hills with perfect packed down snow.

Only there was a slight problem though.  Near the bottom one had to be very careful (assuming one had any control of what one was riding on) to aim going stage left because you see if one went stage right one would plow into a creek.  Plunging into a creek during winter is something most of us try very hard to avoid if possible. 

The other friends I was plunging down this huge Mt. Everest hill with were the ones I wrote about in my blog describing Dr. Sonderling's last ever elite Scene Painting class we had the honor of having been chosen for.

Since we had to spend so much of our time together painting assignments on MASSIVE canvas flats we nine young men and two young ladies became very close. Actually Dr. Sonderling was profoundly touched by just how supportive and close a group we were.  

The last day of his last class Dr. Sonderling said to us as he kept choking back tears, "All of you have formed 

a very touching deep bond always looking out for each other, helping each other, having fun, laughing and hugging.  A camaraderie I have not seen like this ever before.  The eleven of you have become very special to me.  I could not have asked to end my teaching career with a finer group.  And all talented as hell too.  I feel so proud and privileged to know you.  Please keep in touch with me!  By the way, what in the world are you going to do with the vinyl you asked to borrow?  I'm curious."

Sooo, this is how seventy-two year old Dr. Sonderling wound up on this large piece of slick vinyl flooring with his eleven students careening down Mt. Everest at high speed.  From the top of this hill none of us could see how at stage left where we HAD to go if we wanted to avoid plowing into the creek, a very unexpected rise had been built in the snow for the purpose of becoming very airborne. 

Now I have a feeling my dear readers are wondering what happened, are you not?  I daresay you would really like to know how our flight landed.  So please hold on tight and keep reading to the end...the...very...end.😃 

All of my other ten friends in dear Dr. Sonderling's final 

Scene Painting class and I kept in touch with each other through the years (well now you at least know WE survived Mt. Everest anyway...sort of...😂).  And we all kept our promise to keep in touch with Dr. Sonderling the remainder of his life too (yes, he too survived Mt. Everest...kind of🙃).

Although my other ten friends and I kept in touch the last time we all were ever together was that plunge we made down Mt. Everest.  For as life often does when one's heart is in theatre, the roads we travel and places theatre takes us are many.  Two of my friends landed Scene Design positions at prestigious theatres in New York and Seattle.  Another in LA.  One continued his Scene Design studies all the way to Oxford in England.  Loved England so much he remained there many years (and where have those years gone so fast?).

Two of my other friends found living in many different places not what they really wanted yet to remain in theatre landed Scene Design jobs at a university because they married each other.  Another friend of 

the ten began teaching Theatre Scene Design at a performing arts high school.

One of our ten died in a theatre shop accident.  And one we have no idea what happened to or where he is.

And finally the last you have been following her journey here.

Our dear Dr. Sonderling lived to the young age of 

ninety-one.  I was able to see him one final time when he was eighty-six.  He was thrilled to see me and though he was having trouble remembering people he had no problem with knowing who I was.  

"Adelaide!  My amazing little Scene Painter who draws and paints from dark to light instead of light to dark!  And who dances with horses!"  

So assuming you have made it this far without giving 

up to see how Mt. Everest ended I will not keep you in suspense any longer.

I left you hanging as we were careening down Mt. Everest at high speed unaware a snow rise was built at stage left, the only way for us to go without flying into the creek at stage right.  And we had a seventy-two year old Dr. Sonderling who had been keen to join us but by now was probably wishing he hadn't. 

In very quick succession we suddenly saw the friggin rise built in the snow, then we reached heights no one else riding on a piece of floor vinyl with twelve people have surely ever attained before in all the history of hoomans. 

The guys thought we had to hit that rise doing 40mph but it had to be at least 90mph.  We hit that sucker and we went flying waaay high.

How high?  

Well Dr. Sonderling swore he saw a flock of birds flying below us, however I cannot attest to that.  I know we 

did pass through some clouds though.

Somehow after we returned to earth again we landed and for a brief moment it appeared our destiny was to take a plunge in the icy creek.  Though we never told Dr. Sonderling this fact we think his weight on the stage left portion of the vinyl miraculously shifted us away from those icy waters, and most of all, sparing him from that fate because we cared so much about him.

We still kept speeding down the rest of Mt. Everest 

until we at last hit a series of snowdrifts before finally coming to a stop.

All twelve of us cheered, jumped up and down and hugged each other.  Dr. Sonderling said this was the most fun he had in years!  It was indeed a thrill for us all.  The serendipitous spur of the moment events in our lives always are.  That's why we all need them.

During my visit with Dr. Sonderling when he was eighty-six, there was something else he remembered because it was one of the best moments of his life.

Dr. Sonderling asked, "Adelaide, do you remember that moment when we hit the snow rise and we became airborne so high I saw a flock of birds flying below us?"

"Oh yes, Dr. Sonderling.  If I remember correctly I believe you saw those right after we passed through all those clouds in the sky."😂💫🎭