Theatre Hilarity 2...

As touched on last week, one cannot work in Theatre for decades without witnessing or being part of some hilarious situations.  The following two pieces are too brief for a blog entire, yet hopefully are enjoyed...

For a small theatre production of "The Wizard 

Of Oz," Matt, the Director who came to town specifically to do this play had an attitude.  In fact he was downright rude and pompous as hell.

Matt was also determined to squeeze a Broadway production out of a little one despite the budget.  As the Dress Rehearsal was underway Matt suddenly jumped up from his seat in the House yelling, "This just isn't working!  We just can't do Toto using a stuffed Toto toy!  I won't have it!"

Our Artistic Director Carrie tried to reason with Matt, "But Matt, tomorrow is Opening Night!  Even if we find a dog like Toto too many things can go wrong using a live animal!  Let alone not having the time to rehearse using one!"

"I don't care!" bellowed Matt.  "We're using a real dog even if I have to go out and buy one!"

True to his word Matt arrived late the next afternoon with Wally, The Toto.  Unfortunately though Wally The Toto appeared a bloated.

I asked, "Uh Matt have you been feeding Wally 

anything?"

"Of course I have!  Two big slices of pizza loaded with cheeses and all the works!  You should have seen that little dog wolf it all down!"

This definitely was not looking good.

The House was packed that night.

At the scene after Miss Gulch has taken Toto from Dorothy and has Toto in her basket when he then escapes, Matt's plan was to be in the wings.  Then Wally The Toto would run to him thus exiting the stage...so said Matt.

However as Matt waited in the wing for Wally The Toto to make his escape, Maggie the Stage Manager tried to tell Matt of a rather urgent problem she had been made aware of from the Miss Gulch, Auntie Em, Uncle Henry, and Dorothy actors.  

Matt very rudely yelled at Maggie, "Can't you see I'm busy?!!  SHUT UP!"

So the moment came for Wally The Toto to make 

his grand escape from the basket.

Oh he did all right.  But not to Matt.  Wally The Toto was running all over the set.  Then Matt being the pompous idiot he was just totally lost it not giving a damn about rushing out on stage before a packed House to chase Wally The Toto down.

He really should have listened to Maggie though, because you see all over stage front Wally The Toto had been depositing these very stinking, very loose piles of "pizza loaded with cheeses and the works" all during Act I.

As we watched the following scene unfold before 

us from the wings we all began dying in helpless hysterics.

For Matt lost his balance when he slid into the mess at stage front.  Kept trying to get up but couldn't as things were so slippery you see.  Matt probably did not consider how fortunate he was at this point that the role of Toto had not been written for a Great Dane.

He had to CRAWL off the stage dripping in dog shit as Wally The Toto ferociously barked at him while the audience including the critic in attendance were drowning in laughter.

Sooo for the remainder of the brief run of this play Wally The Toto was replaced with the stuffed toy Toto as before.  Then we heard Matt The Pompous who was a bit less pompous skipped town with Wally The Toto never to be seen (or smelled) again.

If anything can go wrong during a play it usually 

is due to what we call a "momentary brain fart." This is when an actor suddenly cannot remember a line rehearsed and performed a thousand times without incident until that very brain fart happens.

However royally missing one's cue to come on stage can also REALLY set into motion some very trying, yet hilarious situations for the cast members already on stage desperately waiting for the one who is screwing up, which by the way usually happens before a packed House.

Act III of a play involved a death scene and Jeremy was the one dying.  He came very close TO dying when Andrew failed to appear.

Imagine this:  here's Jeremy's character about to 

croak laying in a lounge chair.  For the tender final scene Andrew is supposed to help the dying Jeremy return to bed.  But for some reason there suddenly is no Andrew!

Jeremy:  "Ohhh Andrew, where ARE you?  I'm dying, I mean REALLY DYING ALONE OUT HERE!  Shall I have to struggle putting myself into bed all alone too?  Andrew, how could you leave me like this?  I can barely make it to the bed!"

STILL no Andrew!  Everyone backstage was trying to find him.  

Meanwhile continuing on stage...

Jeremy:  "Ohhh Andrew, commom, where ARE you?  You were going to sing me a song!  How can I die without you here to sing me on my way?  I don't even know the words to the music you were going to sing to me because those were YOUR lines to learn!  NOT MINE!"

All Jeremy could think of were the words to, "Take Me Home Country Roads," and began belting them out as loud as he could forgetting he was supposed to be dying!  Only "Country Roads" had NOTHING to do with the play!  Even so Jeremy belted them out anyway!

By now the audience was drowning in laughter.  We in the wings were drowning in laughter.  Even Jeremy had totally lost it.

Then Andrew appears!

"Andrew, where the hell have you been?!!"

"Would you believe me if I told you my car broke down?"

"In the middle of this play?!!  Are you crazy?!!  No way in hell would I believe you!  By the way I'm going to die now."

Andrew REALLY got himself into some deep shit though.  And the REASON he lost all track of time?!!

It was because he was on the phone trying to teach his baby daughter how to say "Dada" before saying "Mama," so he wouldn't lose a bet he had with his wife.🙄

The Circle Of Friends...

 

A ball is a circle no beginning, no end

It keeps us together like our dear circle of friends.  But the treasure inside for you to see

Is the treasure of friendship

You've granted to me.

The Test...

The greatest test of courage on Earth, is to bear pain without losing heart.

                                            ~Robert Ingersoll 

                                     

Beginnings...

What we call the beginning is often the end, and to make an end is to make a beginning...this is to be the end where we shall make our beginning now.

                                                    ~T.S. Eliot

                                            2021

                                            2020

Theatre Hilarity 1...

One cannot work in Theatre for decades without witnessing or being part of some hilarious situations which usually unfolded NOT in rehearsal but before an audience.  The following two pieces for now are too brief for a blog entire, yet I hope are enjoyed...😃

There was in this play a character with the name of Mrs. DeMunderdum and Mike the actor tasked with nailing down this pronunciation most was having difficulties doing it.  For you see the consistency of pronouncing this correctly throughout the play was becoming far too elusive for our dear Mike to attain.

Now in Theatre there is always a person known as a Prompter who is situated in what is often referred to 

as "The Hole," not seen by audience but located stage center front.  From the stage side one sees only the head of the Prompter.  The Prompters' duties are to cue the actors on lines if needed, where to be when, lighting, curtain, and more.

Doreen our Prompter had her hands full on this one yet came up with a way to help Mike.  On two huge pieces of poster board in big block letters had "DeMunderdum" written so Mike could get help from both stage left and right as needed.  

This worked quite well Dress Rehearsal as Mike started to say when asking Mrs. DeMunderdum to dance, "Mrs. DeDanceder...uh, DEMUNDERDUM, would you please have this dance with me?"

But the next night, Opening Night, Doreen's assistant could not find the poster boards and quickly made one.  Only instead of writing "DeMunderdum" on it she wrote "DeMonderdom."  

Not good, not good. 

All throughout Act I, poor Mike became so darn confused he literally was blurting out everything from "DeMancetron to DeMonderdom to DeCrapetdom 

to DeMuncerdeedum to DeMunderdrummer!"

Those of us who happened to be in the wings felt terribly for our dear Mike...we really did, but I must say this fact still did not keep us all from dying in hysterics backstage.  So was the audience too.

Of course Doreen had no idea WHAT had gone so wrong and was livid when Intermission came.  The Director was absolutely raving with fury too because the critic was there that night to review the play!  A critic can make or break a play with just their ink alone!😱

Doreen herself hastily made new poster boards for 

Act II yet it turned out SHE wrote BOTH wrong too!  Our  Mike was doomed!  

All kinds of hilarious mispronounciations came out during Act II!  One I still remember was"DeShitzerdom!"  

So what was SUPPOSED to be a light hearted romance had disintegrated into a hysterical farce with the audience laughing themselves silly!

Around 3 a.m. we all were gloomily gathered at the newsstand dreading to see what the critic had to say.  None of us could believe it.  The critic said he thought the term, "Light Hearted Romance," didn't do the play justice as HE found the play so charmingly hilarious, especially...ESPECIALLY the very BRILLIANT way the female characters' difficult name was mispronounced throughout the play.🎭🤩

So for the remainder of that plays' long run no more cue cards were needed for Mike...😂

In Theatre the Prop Manager picks up where the Scene Designer's job ends.  It is up to the Prop Manager to decorate the set in whatever time period it takes place in, as well as to furnish props the actors will use.

For this play my assistant and I built a partial staircase which included a landing.  Of course to the audience this appeared as being a full set of stairs situated by a living room.  On the outside of the beam which supported the landing I installed a heavy-duty hook to hang a large fern as required.

In one scene on the landing the young man home from college does what is often seen in such homes as he sideways leaps over the railing to avoid using the more traditional way of entering a living room where family is gathered.  This was also a time period when it wasn't odd for a young person to be wearing suspenders.

Remember suspenders.

The word we were hearing backstage was that Stephen, the young actor who played the college student had a cocky attitude.  Because he had been in one successful play prior to this Stephen apparently thought he was better than the rest of the cast.  He wasn't even a lead in this play.  Nevertheless the older cast still tried to be patient with Stephen.

Rehearsals went well.  Then came Opening Night.

Because the hanging fern was real and belonging 

to the Director he removed it to a sunlit area following each rehearsal.  It was then up to the Director to put it back.  In the rush of Opening Night this did not get done and was not discovered until it was too late.

Somehow no one thought it important to mention this fact to Stephen because after all, he never leapt over the railing near the fern anyway so what could possibly go wrong?

As Roddy and Sheila, the actors who played Stephen's parents were at their places it was time for Stephen to make his grand entrance.  Since Stephen was oblivious to the fact the fern was gone and Adelaide's excellent work of placing the plant hook into the beam that could stay there until the end of time was jutting out, he leapt high over the railing in the wrong place.

As Stephen came down his suspenders caught onto Adelaide's hook.  Oh did they ever!  

In rapid succession Stephen suddenly found himself in the rather humiliating position of helplessly hanging upside down before a packed House!  The reaction of everyone except for maybe Stephen's parents who were seated in the audience was to lose it.

However, being the excellent actors Roddy and Sheila were they began adlibbing as they laughed.

"Well son," said Roddy, "didn't you see we moved the plant?  Come mother, let's help our son down."

So with Roddy lifting Stephen up a bit, Sheila standing on the landing lifted free the suspenders as a very rattled Stephen landed on his feet.  

From there Roddy and Sheila successfully steered the play back to where it was with a more humble Stephen doing so too.  Because of this the audience assumed what happened was part of the play.

From then on Stephen was far more pleasant to work with.🙂 

And many years later I heard my hook was still very tightly embedded in that beam and holding.😂🎭

Hilarious Desperation...

So I was in the city of Lexington recently to see one of my doctors for us to determine how alive I still am, and with a bladder like mine, must use the restroom often.  Which then brings us to the paper towel dispensers found in public bathrooms.  You know, the one with the magic sensors which release a section of paper towel?  That is, assuming of course, one is tall enough for the sensor to recognize there is a hooman down here, which they don't.🙄

At this point one has three options:

1.  Not wash hands  (NO WAY!)

2.  Wash hands and leave dripping (then quickly assure the doctor who warmly grabs your hand to greet you it's not pee making it wet)😂

3.  Do the Adelaide Dance👇

The Adelaide Dance involves one having the ability to execute some serious dance moves because after all, the outcome is very important here.  While raising both arms in the air and waving them, dance wildly.  Move to the left.  Move to the right.  Close in on the sensor.  Back away.  Do a spin.  

Jump up and down.  Repeat as necessary.  Usually successful, however this process absolutely 
will not work if one dissolves into laughter.🤣

Now then, Public Toilets.  You know, the many now designed for wheelchair users?  Believe me, for a wheelchair user these are a huge blessing I applaud.  For a still mobile Little Person these toilets are as high as the sky!  I am not kidding here folks, they nearly come up to my chest!😱

I have heard from other Little People some face these and climb on as one would climb a mountain.  But Public Toilets are very seldom 

clean ones.  NO WAY would I ever put my hands and clothing all over one to climb on like a mountain.🥴

So the only other alternative is to hopefully be a athletic Little Person capable of leaping from a car 
hood to the backs of her horses...only instead of leaping forwards, performing the hopping high to the sky leap of faith BACKwards.🙃

Quite often this endeavor was successful, however I imagine most of you probably do not realize just how large those seat openings are, do you?  Well I do, because those openings would come close to swallowing your Adelaide right up.  Rather, down, I mean.  Not good, not good.  Especially if the seat is slippery and the toilet paper dispenser one grabs before sliding into the abyss comes off the wall.🥴

Thankfully nowadays an ingenious item got created.  It's a easy to carry with a handle fold up step stool made now which I am never without when in public.  However it doesn't help with motion sensors.😱

Now we come to automatic doors.  Automatic doors come with sensors too, with serious design flaws failing to recognize there is a hooman down here seeking to get in or out.  So they refuse to open.  Discreetly trying to be recognized by these never works.  And usually these doors have huge lobbies nearby where lots of people are seated thus providing the hooman with an audience who are quick to take notice of the free entertainment being provided for them while they are waiting for whatever they are waiting for.  Trust me, few ever get up to actually assist the damsel in distress desperately trying to get in or out.🙄  

So at this point, one has three options:

1.  Scream and use swear words (NO WAY!  Not becoming if an audience is present!)😱

2.  Wait (assuming one does not have a plane to catch) for someone to come along going through the same doors

3.  Do a different version of the Adelaide Dance than the one reserved for Paper Towel sensors👇

This version of the Adelaide Dance became created when I discovered where many automatic door sensors are located, which is usually way higher than I am off to the right or left side.🙃

For this version of the Adelaide Dance one must execute some very good leaping towards the heavens and waving ones arms about facing to the right.  If this isn't successful it could either mean one failed to leap high enough, or wave ones arms correctly, or one needs to face left because the sensor is on the left rather than the right, then repeat the Dance.😂

If the Adelaide Dance fails and one has either a plane to catch, or is in need of a restroom facility very quickly, try doing #2 because eventually someone will come along going the way you are, allowing one to catch a ride on their height ability which activates the door sensor.  Should they become aware one is using said person's height ability to open the door, do exuberantly thank 
them.😃👏

This actually happened to me once catching a flight to Seattle, and the man whose height ability I needed and exuberantly thanked him for, wound up not only on the same flight, but was seated next to me!  We had a very delightful visit in which he discovered I owned and galloped on horses, then...wait for it...🤣

"How do you get ON your horses?!!"😂

So my dear ones, should you come across a height compromised hooman dancing and waving before anything with a motion sensor please kindly offer to extend your height abilities to assist them...🤣

READERS...

My Dear Twitter And Blogger Readers,

You have been reading this blog from many countries on the planet and I am profoundly grateful for this beyond words.  When I began this endeavour last 30 January 2020 I had no idea how putting myself out there like this would unfold yet as I always have had a tendency to do, I plunged forth anyway.

To date, an astounding (to me) 14,170 of you from 32 countries have been reading this blog.  Except for 5 days I have managed to put out a piece 7 days a week totalling 516 pieces thus far.  Of course a portion of these have been repostings along the way when too ill to write.

I am still trying to obtain the videos of Patches and I during our Ride saga to share here.  Both time and the virus are hindering this but I'm not giving up on obtaining these as I know it's possible.  When The Ride unfolded personal VCR's had just become available.  At the time though none of my friends, nor myself owned one.  I didn't even have a television!  So I didn't think then to press for copies of the videos during the time when having them would have been such a treasure to now have.

Inaddition the bulk of all my most treasured photos and artwork, including those of theatre sets I designed too, had to all be placed in storage two years ago due to damage here caused by a neighbors' negligence next to me (long story).  I carefully labeled all boxes and bags I placed these in but men moving them then put many of these in unlabeled industrial size bags, so I have no idea which bag has what now, nor have I had the health to go put my hands on them.

However I will eventually get my hands on all this to include here.

I am deeply grateful a few boxes did not get to storage containing some photos of my horses, copies of my prints.  Because best of all these also contained my many journals over the decades where I wrote in and stuffed many loose pages including my talks when in demand as a speaker.  These also contained some photos too along with all the written pieces of my journey in detail, enabling me to then write about here that otherwise could have been difficult to recall since my journey has been such a very full one.

Nevertheless, I am reaching a place where I will have gone through all contained in my journals.  Not before reaching the one year anniversary when this blog began next month if I repost a bit.  As touched on, other than opening a few windows I have refrained from writing about where I am currently here because it's not pretty due to my deteriorating health and I think it would be sad and boring.  So I made the decision to write only about my life when it was more full.

If anything happens to me I have arranged with a friend who is very happy to do this who will keep my blog up for as long as there is Blogger.  He also knows my desire to add the additional photos and hopefully videos too, and will complete whatever I may have not finished in this regard.

Several of you so very touchingly expressed concern about always being able to access this blog and feel it will continue to help and delight others who find it.  So this is why my friend Steven is dedicated to fulfilling my wish to keep it accessible.  He too understands the importance.

My journey is not over though due to my resolve.  And besides, I recently purchased a somewhat expensive 2021 Calendar so I have to be here to get the full benefit of having used it.😂

Again my dear ones, thank ALL of you for being on this blogging journey, enabling me to fulfill many promises made by finally putting my hilarity and inspirations into writing.  Having all 14,170 of you along has been such a gift...such a dear gift.  And I thank you with all my heart.

May 2021 please be a brighter happier year for all.

Hugs,

Adelaide 

                        Adelaide on her horse Havilla

Galloping In Central Park...

When I was still very young, daring, and crazy, beginning to forge my way ahead as a theatre set designer with promise, a grand opportunity presented itself for me to take part in a prestigious set design summer workshop in The Big Apple.🍎  So I applied for and was awarded a small grant to get to do this, which was a huge honor.

First, I am about to share with you a proven fact:  those who have the horse passion and/or those who work in theatre always, and I mean ALWAYS are drawn to one another even if there are a thousand other people around.  

So I was in the crowded waiting room to see my doctor one day a few months before going to NYC happened, having brought a book on theatre history with me.  Soon after I climbed into my book, a lady rushed over and sat down next to me.

"I knew it!  Before I saw your book I just knew you were connected to theatre!  My name is Annie, and I'm from New York starring in the play at Actors here!"

"Wow!  I'm Adelaide!  So nice to meet you!  I'm a set designer for the much smaller other theatre here and I love it!  How do you like it here?"

"Oh it's wonderful and people are really nice.  But I miss my friends, and especially my horse.  Will I ever be glad to get back to New York and see him.  I miss the city itself too."

"Uh Annie, you're SO not going to believe this, but I have a horse too!"

"You're kidding?!!  This is amazing!"

We exchanged phone numbers.  Then I invited Annie 

to go riding with me using my friend's horse Rory.  She jumped at the chance.  Said she hadn't been able to get out much.  So one day I took her to The Kentucky Horse Park which was new and then we even paid a visit to Claiborne Farm to see Secretariat too.  

Of course I was keen to know where in NYC one not only kept horses, but where one rode.  In the early 1980's there were still a few stables remaining in the city where one could board a horse located not far from Central Park, with bridle paths just for horseback riding.

Annie asked if I considered taking Selah with me.  At this point taking Selah with me hadn't even entered my mind, because you see only a crazy person would even THINK of taking their beloved horse to NEW YORK CITY too, right?!!

Right.  I wasn't THAT crazy.😂

Besides, board in NYC would be quadruple of what I was used to paying.  Yet more than anything, I had to put Selah first.  After all, I would only be away four months for one thing.  However, Selah had never been anywhere before to experience the massive amount of traffic and noise of the city.  She would be absolutely terrified.  Also she was used to being out in the wide open spaces of the farm I had her at.  In NYC she would be stuck in a dark stall for hours each day.  No way would I put her through any of this.

This didn't deter Annie and her best friend Heather, who also acted and had a horse at the same place Annie did.  A fellow boarder of theirs was to be abroad that summer and he was delighted to have me "adopt" Mugwamp (yep, that's what his name was!) the months I would be there.  So I had a horse to ride in NYC!

And friends.  Annie shared an apartment with two dear and funny as could be guys, and they all insisted there was room for me.  So I had a place to stay too!

Broadway during the eighties was exploding with the Andrew Lloyd Webber musicals, then there was the hit about Little Orphan Annie, and Chorus Line.  In addition, Joseph Papp, who revolutionized theatre, was doing extraordinary things.  It was a very exciting time to be in NYC working in theatre.

After I arrived one of the first things we did was go to the stables so I could meet Mugwamp.  Then Annie, Heather, and I went to Central Park for our first ride.

We had to go a few blocks in the midst of all the traffic, and waiting our turns at the lights.  It was astounding.

The amazement of being in NYC with the gift of having a horse to care for and ride never lost its wonder.  And I was only asked a thousand times, "How DO you get ON your horse?"😂

Mugwamp and I quickly became close.  Soon he would nicker when he saw me coming.  How fun it was to be connected to a horse in one of the most unlikely places in the world!  

The four months flew by.  I absolutely love The Big Apple🍎.  It has indeed been for me an incredible place to visit and work in through the years, but not to live.  For I too, need my open space.  Even so, I miss the camaraderie of all who make the performing and visual arts happen there as NYC is definitely at the very heart of these.

Now that I am living with such rapidly deteriorating health challenges, my chapters in NYC and even galloping on a horse in Central Park, are yet more chapters of my life I am grateful to hold in my grasp because theatre and horse people always, and I mean ALWAYS, find each other.🐎😃🐎💫

Another Funny Round Of Theatre Hilarity...

As my career as a Theatre Set Designer began winding down I was working for a small theatre.  We were doing a play which had a domineering mother.

Since the play had a scene where a full size bed was needed, Emily, the Artistic Director and I went to a local thrift shop.

"Adelaide, I like this one!"

"I don't know, Emily.  It doesn't appear to be sturdy enough for what we need it for."

"Well I think it is and Matt will like the price."

[Why do people want to drag you along with them for your expert advice and then not listen to it?]🙄

Matt was the Executive Director and we in the back could clearly see Emily had a thing for him.  This really has no bearing on the story aside from the fact the actors in the play always felt the bed was getting used for more than just being a prop and could have possibly contributed to the hilarious disaster I am about to share with you.

The big huge grand finale scene at the end of Act I involves the couple in the play who are madly in love with each other.  The man's very meddlesome mother though had other views about his love interest.  He also forgot about giving his mother a key to his apartment. 

So Mom just knows that "woman" has lured her son to bed.  Sneaks into the bedroom at a climatic moment and proceeds to faint, falling right smack onto the bed in-between our couple as Act I ends.

At least this is how it was supposed to go.

When Grace fainted and fell onto the bed between Ethan and Anna, the what Adelaide tried to tell Emily could happen...happened.  

The bed collapsed.

Oh did it collapse. 

The problem was the foot end of the bed remained intact up high while the head end sunk to the depths, putting these three in a helpless position of escaping. 

Not only that they became stuck in the sheets.

Worse than that even they were drowning in laughter as we all were aside from Emily and Matt, who were NOT laughing.  We didn't care.

By now the audience was drowning in laughter too.

The only thing we could do was dim the lights as the crew pushed bed and actors safely to the wings.

But you see this didn't quite work.

When they pushed the bed it broke apart more.

Normally the curtains would have been drawn but the bed was downstage near front and drawing the curtains couldn't help.

This is the moment when first Matt, then Emily rushed out to assist the crew by gathering up pieces of the bed like firewood behind the hysterically laughing actors, crew, then Stage Manager, Director of the play, and a certain little Scene Designer doing the same in the wings.

When Ethan could finally stand up backstage he had something very enlightening to share.

"Uh Matt, didn't you say someone had stolen your wallet the other day?"

"Yeah, what about it?"

"Well look what WE found when the bed collapsed!"

Then Grace, who had a wicked sense of humor held up a bra.

"Emily, I believe this must belong to YOU then."

Ohhh those two were screwed.  Really screwed.

You see the Director of the play just happened to be Matt's wife.😱

Only by now though SHE WASN'T LAUGHING.

Soon after Emily disappeared, Matt had to get new digs in town...AND a new job while his Ex became the new Executive Director of our theatre.

She even kept part of the bed as a memento.😂🎭

Colliding With Leonard Bernstein...

Leonard Bernstein not only was a gifted composer, 

but a very brilliant conductor.  Besides being a very passionate person about things that mattered most to him, he had one hell of a sense of humour. 

When I was in New York for a summer Theatre Scene Design workshop in the 1980's I was very briefly at Lincoln Center during this time where The New York Philharmonic Orchestra also had its home.

As I have shared before, sometimes being a Little Person can throw wide open doors the non-height challenged hoomans may not get to experience.  I was in my usual plunging-forth-walking-tall rush down a back hallway when who did I collide with as I rounded 

a corner but dear Mr. Bernstein who suddenly found himself with this Little Person he didn't expect to find down here who became somewhat wrapped around 

his legs.😳

After we disentangled ourselves from each other as 

we both began apologizing, all at once in mid-sentence it suddenly dawned on me just who I was standing before.  Something dawned on Mr. Bernstein too at the same time.

"Of all people for me to embarrass myself by colliding into it would be you Mr. Bernstein.  Someone I have so adored watching conduct through the years!"

"Aw, you're a Little Person!"

"Oh shit, is it really that noticeable?!!"

Well that sure cracked him up.  He wanted to know if I worked at Lincoln Center.  I quickly explained I was a Theatre Scene Designer attending a summer workshop.

Mr. Bernstein asked if I enjoyed being in New York.  Told him how I loved the Workshop I had been chosen for.  Then briefly told him I couldn't bring my horse with me but how friends with horses in the city had one I was often riding in Central Park and how much I loved this.

"A horse?!!  You have a horse?!!  How DO you get ON them?!!"🙃

So I explained my leaping through the air way of landing on their backs...most of the time.  Then I asked HIM a very important question.

"Mr. Bernstein, I love watching not only how animated you become when you conduct but how you have a blast doing it.  I even read once for fun you conducted by only using your eyes!"

Then not wanting to take anymore of this dear man's time I thanked Mr. Bernstein expressing how much it meant to become entangled with him.

"How would you like to see me do that?  Conduct with my eyebrows for a few moments?"

"Are you kidding?!!  Oh my, I would LOVE to!"

"We're in rehearsal right now.  Come with me and I'll show you!"

Mr. Bernstein grabbed my hand and off we went!

"Uh, Mr. Bernstein, your legs are waaay longer than mine.  Can you SLOW down just a bit!"😂

He introduced me to the orchestra and had me sit on a empty chair in their midst so I could watch him.

"What's one of your favourite pieces?"

"Fanfare For The Common Man."

There are no words in the Universe to express how      incredible and fun and enthralling it was to be given this brief gift of watching LEONARD BERNSTEIN conduct The New York Philharmonic not using a baton but only his very expressive face.

I had to keep reminding myself I wasn't dreaming!

As The Philharmonic needed to rehearse and I had to be on my way too, I bid farewell to Mr. Bernstein.

"Please, I ask that my friends call me Lenny." 

"Why thank you, Lenny!  I ask that my friends call me Adelaide."

We hugged and I knew this would be a visit I would never forget.

Several years later soon after the Berlin Wall came down I saw in the news Lenny went over organizing both the East and West German Orchestras to play together in peace for the first time ever with Lenny conducting.

In October of 1990, Leonard Bernstein passed away at the age of seventy-two.😢 

I put on my record album of Leonard Bernstein Conducting The New York Philharmonic performing

"Fanfare For The Very Gifted, Uncommon Man."

Thank you, dear Lenny.💫

Is The Ghostlight On And Other Amusing Theatre Facts You Need To Know You Didn't Know You Need To Know...

Today's blog which I do hope you enjoy, contains some highly informative and very amusing bits [following the first amusing bit I wrote touching on the Language Of Theatre] which really are all why "there IS no business like our beloved show business."🎭💫

The other day in my blog "Funny Adelaide Bits," I described how my ten fellow Scene Painting classmates, our seventy-two year old Professor Emeritus, and I serendipitously dared to ride down the 

Mt. Everest of hills following our final class.  Until I had posted that blog I hadn't caught a huge gaffe I made in the piece.  Because the language of theatre is so ingrained in me it comes bursting out of my mouth 

or here on these pages unexpectedly.  For you see I actually had described in that blog piece how if we had the misfortune of speeding down Mt. Everest heading [stage right] we would plunge into a icy creek.  Thus we needed to go [stage left] down Mt. Everest.  Who else but Adelaide describes flying down a snow packed hill where [stage right] is creek and [stage left] is becoming airborne?!!  Which by the way we became.😃  And avoided the creek.🤩

In the end I chose to leave the gaffe I made of having fallen into using my theatre language by allowing it to remain.  I decided there was a charm of my having innocently used a language I not only spoke for many decades but forever hold dear.  That life, the very unique life of show business and its language will always be a special part of Adelaide you too, have now come to know.🎭💫

Theatre is bursting with traditions, rituals, and yes, superstitions too that we who were born with theatre in our souls have been known to take very seriously down through the centuries which makes the mysticism and magic of theatre even more profound.

As my life has been steeped with all this vast treasure

I thought you may just enjoy being enlightened with a little of this wealth too.

Saying "break a leg" instead of saying "good luck"...

"Leg" in theatre is actually the curtains hanging in the wings stage left and stage right masking the backstage.  Breaking a leg means one has broken past this barrier and made it successfully onstage.  Some believe this phrase was born in early vaudeville when performers waited backstage and it was decided in the moment if their act would go on, so if they were sent on they had broken past the curtain leg.

Others believe theatres have many ghosts from our vast past hanging around who have nothing better to do than cause mischief by making the opposite of what you want to have happen.  So by wishing for something bad like breaking a leg will bring something good like a performance or successful play instead.

Merde...

Merde actually translates to "shit" in French.  You see the orgin of this tradition traces back to 19th Century Paris when attendees of the Paris Opera Ballet would pull up to the famed Palais Garnier in horse-drawn carriages.  The more merde the more audience members, thus success with a sold out House.

Do not whistle in the theatre...

In the 1600s theatres began to employ mechanisms to  raise curtains, scenery, props and even actors.  The rigging of these theatrical "fly systems" was very similar to that of many sailing ships then.  So it was only a matter of time before sailors were finding work as  theatre crew.  On the seas sailors communicated to each other through a code of whistling.  When they began working in theatre this means of communication followed.  A certain combination of whistles could mean instructions to raise or lower scenery.  

The huge problem with this though was if a actor just happened to cross the stage whistling the sailors working the fly system would very easily confuse that whistling to be THEIR ditty for a cue.  This then would place in grave danger anyone far below on the stage who became terribly crushed by a wrong scene change brought on by the errant whistling.  

Of course now centuries later theatre technology has drastically changed.  Yet our penchant for keeping our superstitions alive and thriving still means no whistling.  Period.  Nada.  Zilch.  Never.  Ever.  

You see we take our long held embraced traditions very seriously. 

Wing it...

This phrase of ours has now been incorporated into the greater colloquial lexicon these days, but when actors would "wing it" they were going on stage unprepared.  Like partying hard because they got the role in a play whose lines they were supposed to have memorized but didn't...get...memorized.  This is where "winging it" comes in you see by having the audacity to come on stage unprepared to play a part without memorizing any lines and THEN...either relying on the prompter in the wings or have pages of the script precariously taped to the Theatre Set, props, or...the...wing...flats.  Thus "winging it."

In the limelight...

Limelight was the first gas lamp alternative for lighting theatres.  Invented in the early 1800s limelight was generated by heating calcium oxide with a blend of oxygen and hydrogen.  Theatres began using limelight in the 1830s for what became our early spotlights.  

So now we continue our grand cherished traditions we devotedly keep by saying, "Those in the limelight are the center of attention" when they are actually in the spotlight shining down upon them.

Never ever mention "Macbeth" in a theatre...

Even just WHISPERING the name of one of William Shakespeare's bloodiest plays inside of a theatre is a most egregious taboo.  In fact if one were to commit such a terrible act this will send most of us who have given our lives to theatre into a high state of panic.  I am talking terror here folks.  

Now there are a variety of speculations as to why saying the play's name in a theatre is considered such bad luck setting aflame fear in our hearts.  One possible reason for this superstition passed down through the centuries comes from the incantations of the three witches in Macbeth.  It is believed that Shakespeare either adapted these very spells from real witches or actual books of black magic.  This then opened the play up to the forces of darkness which are rumored to plague productions of what most now refer to as "The Scottish Play."

So if anyone DOES make the dreadful mistake of saying "Macbeth" in a theatre, we theatre people have some countercurses we believe will keep the doom from occurring.  One must follow these instructions exactly or shit happens.

First, rush outside the theatre.  NOT walking mind you but RUSHING.  Got it?  Then you MUST spin around in a circle THREE times, NOT four.  You do NOT want to screw this next part up.  After you spin THREE times, you MUST spit.  Do NOT forget to spit.  This spitting part is very VERY important.  How important?  So important I shall tell you again.  Spin.  THREE times in a circle.  Spit.  You MUST get the spitting procedure exactly correct.

Never ever place a peacock feather onstage...

So why is a beautifully ornamental bit of plumage bad luck in a theatre production?  The pattern on a peacock feather creates an eye or according to legend an evil eye, which brings REALLY bad juju to a production.  And we're talking BAD juju here too.  The idea of the evil eye hidden in objects extends back as far as the Ancient Greeks in their theatre productions.  

Peacock feathers were also feared by early Europeans as they were part of the ornamentation of the Mongol hordes who invaded parts of the continent during the Middle Ages.  So for a long time peacock feathers were looked upon by Europeans as part of a sinister dark and bloody history.  Much like the Macbeth curse you SO do NOT ever want such savagery and evil associated with a production.  Especially one you happen to be the Set Designer for.  Thus please keep your peacock feathers from entering any theatre you intend to visit.

Be sure to turn on the ghostlight...

Never EVER leave a stage entirely dark.  Trust me on this.  Turning on the ghostlght is a very important thing to do.

Practicality might be part of it since there is always a plethora of obstacles like furniture, trap doors, a well constructed theatre set, and orchestra pits which tend to create accidents.  

Theatre people all down through centuries of our proud history strongly believe our theatres are inhabited by theatre ghosts who need the ghostlights too.  

Commom sense may be another explanation for our ghostlights.  For when theatres were first lit in the early 1800s before electricity and the lights were powered 

by gas which as you know gas is combustible and could build up pressure within the gas lines.  Running the flame of a ghost light in a theatre during non-performance times burned excess gas eliminating the pressure that might result in an explosion.  And though we no longer use gas to light theatres with anymore our superstitious tradition still remains fully intact passed down from one generation to the next.

So now my dear ones I have opened up some of Theatres' vast superstitious treasures for you.  I hope you may enjoy having been enlightened by my wisdom.

Now do NOT forget to spit after spinning THREE times and LEAVE THE GHOSTLIGHT ON.

😂And then there was this one Christmas💡...

Long ago and far away one year my dear Aiden, an architect, had to be in Cheyenne, Wyoming for a project.  It was to wrap up on 22 December, then he would fly home.  Only Mother Nature and Wyoming weather had other plans by unleashing a huge snowstorm.  Flights were cancelled.  Suddenly it was beginning to appear he wouldn't be able to get home for Christmas.

We did not have major plans for the holiday other than spending time with friends and his parents.  Yet the prospect of him having to spend Christmas either in a airport or a hotel room alone was not a happy one.

When we talked the morning of 23 December Aiden said, "Adelaide honey, I found something here I just 

HAD to get you for Christmas and I got it shipped out

before the snowstorm.  It will get there sometime tomorrow but probably late.  Please stay home to be there when it arrives, okay?  The package is kind of large."

"Let me guess...it's a wild horse?!!"😂

"Well, not exactly...but knowing you I'm sure you will find the gift great fun!  You will love it!  I can't believe what the guy was asking so I got it for you.  I just couldn't resist!"

"My you sure have intrigued me!"🤔

"I want you to be sure to open the shipping box after it arrives just to make sure the inner gift box is in decent condition so I will feel at peace knowing my gift for you is okay."

"A MINIATURE HORSE!"😂

"Not exactly." 

"All right, my dear one.  I'll give you a call right away to let you know the package arrived.  Do they know if there is any chance of getting a flight yet before Christmas?"

"Doesn't look like it at all.  But I'll be okay.  Not exactly the way we expected to spend Christmas this year."

"I know dahlin, I know.  My heart aches for you.  The Four Wheeler we've been talking about getting?!!"🤔

"You crack me up so much!  Uh no."

"You're really not going to spill the beans on this are you?!!"🙄

"Not if I can help it!  By the way the food is great here."

"Well I am sure glad of that!  Especially if you're stuck somewhere during Christmas away from my cooking."

"I know!"

"IT'S A HOT AIR BALLOON!!!"😂

"A HOT AIR BALLOON?!!  NO!  By the way, how are Patches and Sierra doing?"

"Missing you too.  While I'm thinking of it be sure to 

call your parents.  If I let you win at Scrabble for a month will you tell..."

"Very tempting...but...NO."🤣

"Okay.  I give up.  I know when I'm defeated...

...uh...

...mini bikes for us both?!!"😂

"I love you to pieces!"💕

"And I love YOU to pieces, my dear!  A piano?!!"🤣

Sooooo, on Christmas Eve evening as it began to snow heavily the package Aiden sent arrived.  It suddenly  made me miss him terribly.

I put on Christmas music then finished wrapping packages for his parents we were giving them.

Finally I dutifully began opening the outer package as promised.  There was a hell of a lot of paper packing in this thing.

And then, AND THEN, THE FRIGGIN PAPER BEGAN MOVING!😱

IT...WAS...

[DRUMROLL PLEASE]

...AIDEN!💫💕⭐😍⭐💕💫

But he scared the hell out of me!  He always claimed I blurted out not an "I love you," or not a "I'm so very happy and excited to see you," either.

No, he says I very lovingly instead blurted out... 

"AWW HELL, HOLY SHIT!!!  IT'S...IT'S...YOUUUUU!"😳

Well any of YOU would have been shocked too!!!🤣

After we hugged BIG HUGE HUGS AND KISSES I managed to calm back down from shock to sheer bursting joy.  Now THIS was Christmas Magic!👍💫

Aiden explained the snowstorm eased and there was a window when he could get a flight out of Wyoming to Maryland. 

While waiting he had an idea.💡  He thought what a way it would be to surprise me. (It worked!😂)

Aiden had a buddy who owed him a favor who just HAPPENED to work for one of the national delivery companies who really got caught up in the joy of getting to help pull off the Christmas Surprise of a lifetime too.

Tim picked Aiden up at the airport then they put together the package with air holes.  Not far from our house Tim sealed Aiden inside.

Aiden wondered if I ever was going to open the box!

THEN, it hit him I may need something long and sharp to open the box with!  Something he hadn't thought about!🤣

And I did need to use something sharp but thankfully grabbed the small pair of scissors I was using to wrap those gifts with.😃👍💫

So this became the very special Christmas Gift of a lifetime.🎄⭐😂💕💫

But alas...not a HOT AIR BALLOON!!!😂

My Kentucky Home...

[Photos are at the end of this blog.]

Here in the heart of the Kentucky Bluegrass horse country the miracle and delight of foaling season takes place each year, as it has here since the 1790's.  Foaling season begins in January and usually goes through May.  Everything is all about the horse here.  And everything abides by the rhythms of the seasons with the horses.  Almost anywhere in this region mostly outside of Lexington, there are endless farms and pastures with mares and their foals, then weanlings, yearlings, and stallions in all their many pastures.  Nothing is hurried for one cannot help but to be immersed in the equine rhythms.  During the summer months mares and foals can be seen quietly sleeping beneath the shade of trees.  The tranquility in itself is such a treasure, for this...is our separate peace here.  And this...is our Kentucky horse country.  How I hope you may enjoy this glimpse of my Kentucky home.

Many have heard of Mammoth Cave, the second largest cave system in the world.  Kentucky is sitting on a massive amount of limestone vastly rich in nutrients found in our grass and water.  And yes, we do have BLUEgrass.  You see, the limestone nutrients contribute to this effect.  Those nutrients are also why we are known as the Horse Capital Of The World too.🐎💥🐎

Kentucky became a state in 1792.  Daniel Boone's grave is not far from where I live.  But during the years before we became a state wherever people bet their horse could run faster than another's horse here and throughout New England, they soon discovered it was the horses from THIS region in Kentucky winning all the races.  People didn't know why back then so decided this region in Kentucky had something very magical in its' grass and water.💥🐎 

Actually, there IS magic in our grass and water because the "magic" was later confirmed to be the rich, high concentration of those nutrients in our grass, mostly calcium which helps create horses with magic.  But horse racing lovers in the 1790's and after didn't care what it was.  All they knew is there was something magical having an astounding effect on horses here.💥Rapidly horse showing and racing enthusiasts flocked to this region establishing farms.  And the rest is our proud history in the Bluegrass.  Some of these very farms are still in operation by the descendants of those who came to this region establishing their horse farms for the sake of raising Kentucky bred horses.

Colonel Matt Winn who owned what eventually became our iconic Churchill Downs in Louisville, began the Kentucky Derby.  The first Derby was in 1875 and is the oldest sporting event in the United States.  It has been running ever since on each first Saturday in May, except for two.  One time it was delayed until June as WWII ended.

The second time was in 2020.  Due to the virus, the Kentucky Derby had to be either cancelled altogether or moved, and a date was decided.  The Derby was held 

on 5 September 2020 without spectators.  Our two beloved sister races making up the historical Triple Crown races, The Preakness in Baltimore, Maryland, and The Belmont in New York, had to scramble with changes too.  The Belmont was held on 20 June, the Preakness on 5 October and both also held without spectators.

Here in the Bluegrass in Lexington, is another beautiful racetrack surrounded by horse farms...Keeneland, that is as historical as Churchill Downs.  This year, 2020, Keeneland was host of the world renown Breeder's Cup Classic in November...without spectators.

Not far from where I live is the very famous Kentucky Horse Park which began in the late 1970's.  I was actually a part of the team that helped to create some of its' logos back then which was a huge honor and fun too.  

Each year in April the prestigious world renown Rolex Three Day Event is held at the Horse Park.  Also the World Equestrian Events are too.  Of course the Rolex Three Day Event understandably had to be cancelled in 2020 besides all other activities.  So did the Spring and Fall Meets at Keeneland as well.😭

This is very touching:  many from around the world come here throughout the year, especially during foaling season just to visit our farms and all their favorite famous horses.  Obviously due to the virus 

trips planned for a year or more suddenly had to be cancelled.  Besides the farms had to close their gates to visitors anyway.  However, our amazing farm owners came together, and with the help of a wonderful organization here called Horse Country Tours, began doing live virtual tour visits of the many beloved farms here not only including all aspects of each farm but its history.  Our incredible Mill Ridge Farm here has been especially instrumental in doing this, touching deeply the many throughout the world who come here for the love of Kentucky horse country.  Dear Mill Ridge Farm personifies everything we treasure most here.  As with a number of our farms their history dates back into the 1800's and earlier.  Farms like Mill Ridge make me very proud to be a Kentuckian.  Anyone here interested in taking these virtual horse farm tours may access them via Horse Country Tours on Facebook.

Anyway, back to more tidbits about this place I proudly call home.  Another benefit discovered after Kentucky began due to the abundant limestone in our water, is our Kentucky Bourbon.  There are numerous historical distilleries throughout the region.  One is not far from me and if the wind is just right I can smell the mash being boiled which is a sweet smell.  About two years ago one of our distilleries lost a warehouse filled with bourbon whiskey as it was aging due to a huge fire.  After the fire I learned just how important our bourbon whiskey really is around the world even more than I realized.  I soon discovered I was getting more news and updates on what was happening regarding the loss of this warehouse on the BBC than our local news!  One thing the BBC did was speculate on how the loss of this warehouse could affect the amount of bourbon we produce.  The BBC then even focused on what our wildlife officials were doing about trying to save the fish in the river all the bourbon poured into!  There wasn't anything in the local news about THAT here!  Though fish were lost, our wildlife officials were actually able to avoid a huge loss of our catfish and carp industry, by neutralizing the effects of the bourbon in the river.  A fact I learned from the BBC in the U.K. providing all these updates for its listeners about this fire having an impact on our bourbon whiskey output!!!🤣

Another product Kentucky is very famous for, and also one benefiting from the limestone here too, is tobacco.  We are the leading state in tobacco.  And hemp too.😃

Not surprisingly we lead the world in horse sales too.

Kentucky is of course also famous for Kentucky Fried Chicken.  In my blog about the famous people I have met I wrote about my friendship with Colonel Harland Sanders himself and his wife Claudia, whose home was not far from the farm where I boarded some of my horses.  I used to join them for tea on their veranda.  They both were up in their eighties by then, and so dear and charming.  I am very grateful to have had that time visiting them at the Colonel's insistence when he discovered me on my horse one day.🐎🤠🐎

There are many more wonderful things about Kentucky, like Bluegrass Music, our theatres, and uniquely beautiful natural wonders.  Yet it is our equine culture I am most proud to be a part of.  Since so many famous horses reside here our evening news broadcasts often have news pieces featuring their births, fame, retiring here, and when they pass away.  When Secretariat was euthanized due to laminitis it was the only news here for days.  The same with Seattle Slew.  After the birth of American Pharoah's first two foals the world couldn't get enough of seeing these two as they each found their legs and stood for the first time, then nursed.

When Secretariat retired here arriving at Bluegrass Airport, local and national news teams were there with 
live news updates, even following the procession to Claiborne Horse Farm, and there as he stepped off the van.  Many years later it was the same thing for American Pharoah.  So many of our local television programs and commercials here are related to the horses and farms too.  And our state license plates are always with horses.

Back to foaling season.  Those making sure all goes well during the wee cold hours of winter/early spring in barns throughout the region during foaling season often have been doing their job for decades.  They all say the same thing too...that each foaling never loses its' wonder and magic, and they're right.  The miracle never ever ceases to amaze us here.😍💫

Then what a delight it is to see all the many playful 

foals trying out their legs in fields of bluegrass on a misty Kentucky morning!  Or when they encounter 

their first snowfall.  These joys and wonders never 

lose their magic. 

I have been blessed to live in many and travel in forty-seven other states and Canada, each with their very unique beauty and wonders.  Yet this, my dear ones, 

IS my beloved Horse Country Kentucky Home.😍🐎

                                  Kentucky Sunset

                                     Snow Soaring

                                     War Emblem 

                                      Winter Foal

Sunset In Kentucky 

                               The Soul Of A Horse 

                               Spring In Kentucky 

            Early Morning Bath At Keeneland Racetrack

Kentucky In Early Spring

Secretariat Soaring Without Wings

                             Playing In The Snow

    Waiting For The Miracle Of A Foal Born With Magic

Horse Country Road

Summer In Kentucky 

Engraving Of 1800's Bluegrass Scene

 

Mill Ridge Horse Farm

                          Snow Gallop In Kentucky 

                         Early Summer In Kentucky 

                          Peaceful Kentucky Sunset

                                      Curious Foal

                            Soaring With The Wind

                   The Beautiful Grave Of Man O War

      Man O War And His Longtime Groom Will Harbut

                Rolling Hills Of Kentucky Horse Farms 

                  Early Morning Fog Scene In Kentucky 

              Early Kentucky Spring Gallop To The Sun

                  Another Day Is Ending In Kentucky