My Grandfather...

I have not yet written about my maternal Grandfather, for it is very hard because I was very close to him.  He was the ONE rock I had in a very unloved, and at times very violent childhood due to the alcoholism and severe instability of both parents.  My Grandfather was my rock.

Throughout my life those I have loved most have been ripped away by death.  Thankfully though I never let the fear of losing someone keep me from loving or being loved along the way.  Yet Aiden's sudden death, Jackie's, and my Grandfather's, have been three of the hardest for me.😭

My Grandfather was born in 1906.  Both he and his older brother rode ponies to school and the love of horses never left him.  This in itself was a reason why we were so close.💕

As a young adult he was a teacher.  Then after he married and the first of four kids began coming, he did other work to make ends meet.  Eventually, he had what became a very successful insurance agency.  It was the only one in town and since he sold life insurance too, he called the agency, Your Last Chance.  I loved his sense of humor.  For this reason alone, Your Last Chance Insurance Agency became a huge success.😂

If I wasn't at Lake Michigan when visiting him, I was at the office with him playing card games and talking. After closing time Grandpa would take me everywhere with him, even to the bowling alley where he played on 

a league.  

When I was finally blessed at age thirteen with my first pony, Sadie, Grandpa came.  He was so excited for me he drove eight hours just to see Sadie and me.  As the months passed Grandpa became very concerned because I got up at 5A.M. every morning regardless of the weather or if I was sick to care for Sadie and babysat to support her.

"My precious Adelaide, I'm really worried about the 

ways you're knocking yourself out to take care of and support Sadie like you are!"

"But Grandpa, I LOVE taking care of Sadie because she means everything to me, and I can ride her everywhere!  I have to buy her stuff!  I'm so afraid if I don't Sadie could get taken away from me and she's all I've got!  Well, I mean, besides you of course!"🙂

"I know.  It's just very hard for me to see what you're living with.  It's just not right!  And I understand why you feel scared Sadie could be ripped from you.  Damn!  I wish there were more I could do!"

"You do lots, Grandpa!  And you give me money all the time to help with the feed and hay I buy, and..."

"Adelaide, I tell you what, I give you my promise nothing and I mean NOTHING is ever going to happen to Sadie.  She will never go anywhere on MY watch, okay?"

"Really?"

"I promise!"

In a previous blog I shared the very bittersweet way Sadie came into my life.  Often when drunk my father would become very violent.  Then feel horribly guilty the next day when seeing my swollen battered little body.  After yet another round of this the results were terrible the next day.  He was horrified.  So horrified he finally took me to the man who raised Shetland ponies down the road, and that's how the profound gift of my dreams finally came into my life.  Not exactly the way to have one's life long dream come true, but there it was.

Grandpa either visited or took me home with him often because he knew what was happening and it broke his heart.  He was also terrified of the violence I lived with.  His last year he began seeking custody of me.

One time in tears I asked him why my parents didn't want me, and how could his daughter, my mother, not 

love me the way mothers are supposed to love their kids.  I told him I knew it was because I was a dwarf.  He burst in tears.  He held me and with tears pouring down his face told me how it broke his heart knowing what he knew I was living with.

Grandpa drove down for another visit soon after this conversation took place.  A few days after he returned home, when his neighbor's lawn mower quit on a hot July day Grandpa mowed his big yard and was nearly done with the neighbor's when he had a massive heart attack.  He was gone before he hit the ground.  As I write these words, as well as the words I have written about Aiden here, tears are pouring down my face.  I was only thirteen and the one rock of my young life, my Grandfather, was gone.😭

I either refer to my many journals or keep a list of blog topics to write about here.  Since the very beginning of this blog my Grandfather was at the top of the list with Aiden.  It has taken me all this time before I could finally put into words to share here the touching story of my dear, beloved Grandpa.💫🐎🌺🐎💫