The Fog...

At the same large theatre I described what happened during the musical version of "Gone With The Wind," there was another hilarious event at the same theatre proving lightning can strike twice or three times or even...🎭

The following season we staged a very large scale production of "The Phantom," (not to be confused with 

a small production of the same I had designed for where we happened to have a very serious hilarious costume/candelabra malfunction😂🎭).

For THIS version of "The Phantom" a HUGE brand spanking new theatrical Fog Making Machine had been purchased to add finesse to the production. 

Oh it really added some version of finesse all right, however I am getting ahead of myself.

Joseph, in charge of the Special Effects had to visit the Fog Making Machine company where he was given extensive instructions in how to make the Fog Making Machine successfully work.  Which is exactly what Joseph managed to pull off with amazing finesse.  That is this finesse occurred all during rehearsals and Dress Rehearsal at least.😂

Did I mention yet Joseph and his wife were expecting their first child at ANY moment?

And that our contingency plan for this event to occur during our Phantom run was Joseph would have given Thomas the same excellent instructions he received?  No doubt this gave us all a sense of assurance The Fog Making Machine could have just as much success even with the baby coming.

So along comes Opening Night where if anything can go wrong in theatre it does on Opening Night.  This has been a proven fact all down through the many centuries of theatre and my career.

Three hours before the performance where everything backstage is crazy enough already, Joseph gets...THE CALL.  The one telling him, "IT'S TIME!"  So in a rush Joseph tore out of the theatre.  And in a rush Thomas prepared to run the Fog Making Machine.  Again, the rest of us took great comfort in the knowledge Joseph had taught Thomas with the same excellence in running the machine as he had been given. 

The time arrived for the-let-there-be-fog moment 

to happen.  

And oh how it happened. 

For you see there was just supposed to be enough fog to cover the stage AT THE FEET OF THE CAST for the atmospheric effect.  Well this atmospheric event did not get to happen because Thomas suddenly realized at this very critical moment Joseph somehow overlooked showing him the two part step of HOW TO SHUT THE DAMN FOG MACHINE OFF!

Should my dear readers not be aware of the fact I am about to share with you, I can attest with good authority fog machines, especially brand spanking new ones are quite capable of very rapidly covering a whole stage with fog.

If for any reason the Fog Making Machine cannot be turned off it may then FILL the stage all the way up to the Proscenium Arch with such massive amounts of fog the actors could be having an orgy and neither the audience nor theatre staff in the wings would ever know this was happening.🤪

The Fog Making Machine very soon showed us what more it was capable of doing by then filling up House Left, House Right, Center House, under the Balcony, then over the entire Balcony.  Soon all of Opening Night was shrouded in thick heavy fog that kept pouring out!

From the direction of where the Fog Making Machine was located as I stood in the wings I could hear the freaking out voices of our Executive Director, Artistic Director, and Stage Manager freaking out poor Thomas even more than they were.

"Now Thomas, THINK!  Surely Joseph told you what to do and you forgot!"

"Can't someone go drag Joseph away from what he's doing?!!  This should after all take precedence over a birth!"

"Do you realize what you're saying?!!"

"Does anyone know if the Critics are here?"

"We can't even see ourselves and you're asking if WE'VE SEEN THE CRITICS?!!"

By this time I not only thought our executives voices were loud enough to "reach the rafters," but something suddenly came to me.

All I needed to do was follow the sound of the rising voices of our illustrious staff.

"Who's that?!!"

"Adelaide."

"It must be Adelaide because the sound of her voice is coming from the floor."

"Thomas?"

"Yes Adelaide?"

"Have you tried unplugging the machine?"

"Uh no."

"Okay, do it."

As I expected the Fog Making Machine finally was stopped.🙄

The Executive Director started to ream Thomas out for not thinking of this when I reminded the Director he hadn't thought of it either.  Silence.

Audience members were asked to remain in their seats while all massive backstage doors were opened, all industrial size fans turned on, and all exit doors opened.  Soon the theatre was cleared of fog.

Dimitri, who had the Phantom role had a few words with the Orchestra.  Then took center stage.

This is when he began singing what is our beloved Theatre Anthem, "There's No Business Like Show Business."

And there were not any dry eyes in that theatre.

Even as I write these words my heart swells with the love for what had been my profession as a Theatre Scene Designer for many years as tears pour down my cheeks.  But these tears my dear ones, are very happy ones from my heart.

Because there IS no business like show business.🎭 

 

The Situation...

We have all surely had these moments in our lives at one time or another and then if we haven't we must not be opening our mouths or signing with our hands very much.😂 

Because I am talking about all those folding up with embarrassment moments and the opening our mouths and inserting our foot moments.  And yes, yours truly has managed to have quite a few zingers along the 

way too.😳  

As the show must always go on even if the Scene Designer gets thrown into a hospital for a unexpected long time, the theatre I would be working for very understandably needed to hire a replacement to finish the season.  Then after I recovered from whatever surgery and long recovery, I had no choice but to find temporary work which was never a problem.  During those intervals I have helped veterans obtain their benefits, made signs for small businesses, did framing, worked for (in the offices of) horse farms or equine veterinarians, and even worked for a architectural firm painting what a building would look like to give clients a visual rendering beyond the hard to visualize plans staring at them.🙂

So this particular open-mouth-insert-foot event happened when I was working at the architectural firm.

The somewhat small firm was owned by a very dear husband and wife team employing approximately twenty-five men and two women, aside from the owners who were not there often.  

One day out of the blue the owners suddenly brought in a new Marketing Manager and wouldn't you know it was their daughter in-law.  In the first place we didn't even have a Marketing Manager position to begin with.  

Some of the guys were uncomfortable with this.  

Soon we ALL were very uncomfortable.😱

Unfortunately you see, Ms. Donna brought along with her a problem which immediately began affecting us.  For dear Ms. Donna had a body odor issue.  An intense one.  While the rest of us dressed comfortably, aside from me who dressed like a hippie, Ms. Donna who was also extremely haughty, dressed quite impeccably.  She wore expensive business suits with matching high heels.  And she constantly worried about her appearance.  

One day when she needed a ride to pick her car up that had been worked on everyone suddenly had excuses as to why they just could not give her a ride...except me.  I got caught off guard.  So I had to give her a ride in my car which contained two bales of hay, horse feed, grooming supplies, bridles, lead shanks, halters.  Ms. Donna then worried and fretted to no end driving us crazy, fearing she smelled.  Like a horse.  To the point she rushed home, changed business suits and immediately took the one she had on to the cleaners.  

Believe me we would have all been very grateful IF SHE DID SMELL LIKE A HORSE after riding in my car but alas, she didn't.  No way.🥴

Something drastic had to be done.  Giving her perfume and fancy soaps on her birthday didn't work.  So all the guys, Miss Bailee, and I met after work one evening.  Right away the guys felt either Miss Bailee or I had to take this task on because we were of course women you see.  

Then the conversation went like this...

"Adelaide, we think you should be the one."

"ME?!!  Why ME?!!"

"Because you're so cute and the owners really like you.  Besides you have something in common with her."💫

"I don't have A THING in common with her!"🙄

"You're near the same age, and she nearly pees her pants laughing like the rest of us when you tell your funny horse, dwarf, or theatre stories!  She never even smiles at any of us."😱

"So please do it for all of us, Adelaide!  PLEASE?!!  We'll EVEN buy you a whole month's worth of horse feed if you do this!  PUH-LEEZE?!!"

They got me on the horse feed.😂

As soon as there was no chance of rain in the forecast so we could be outdoors for my sake, I reluctantly asked if Ms. Donna would have lunch with me at the park.

"Sure.  But I'll drive myself if you don't mind and you must drive yourself!"

"No, I don't mind!  Not at all!"🤣 

I wasn't about to tell the poor woman how badly she smelled if I didn't have my car with me!🙄

At the park as we were nearly done eating with 

Ms. Donna at one end of the long table and I waaay at 

the other, I asked, "Ms. Donna, have you ever had concerns expressed where you previously worked about body odor?"🤫

"No, why?  Are YOU having a problem with body odor, Adelaide?"  [Sometimes people are terribly slow about grasping what one is saying no matter how clearly one expresses it]🙄

"HELL NO!!!  I uh...ahem...mean NO.  But didn't ANYone ever express to you the fact YOU have a unpleasant smell?"😖

"Not exactly.  I never worked any place for very long.  I wear the best most expensive clothing yet people don't like me for some reason."🤪

"Uh, what do you mean by, 'Not exactly?'"🙃  

"Okay!  So I've been told I have body odor, can you believe that?!!  How rude people are!  After all I take my clothes to the cleaners each week and I bathe [once] every week too, so how could I possibly smell?!!"💥

"Ms. Donna, something is not working and there is no other way to try to put this.  You really smell.  And you smell downright awful.  You must be a very lovely person but it is so difficult to be around you no one can find this out.  Miss Bailee is getting calls from those you visit to promote the firm begging to please not have you ever return."😱

"How dare you talk to me this way!  I don't believe you!"

"Ms. Donna, I'm trying to tell you in the nicest way possible you flat out stink to high heaven.  Worse than cow manure.  Perhaps dog shit.  Even rotten eggs.  Probably not as bad as a skunk though..."

"I've never been so insulted, you...you..."

"Midget?  You've got to admit..."  

"I'm calling my in-laws!"

"...at least I'm not a stinking midget!"💥

I really tried so hard to use my best tact.  I really did.  Yet I think it all fell apart when I mentioned the shit, rotten eggs, and skunk bit to her.  Especially the skunk bit.🤫

Not surprisingly I received a call the next day from the owners who wanted me to come visit their home right away.😱  As I left, my comrades in arms were preparing to revolt on my behalf.😃

I went to the mansion overlooking the river where the owners lived.

When they told me they were absolutely thrilled with me, I was speechless.🤣

The gist of it all was first, their beloved son blinded by love was immune to his wife's odor issue.  It was destroying the family.  They didn't know what to do.  Besides the woman couldn't hold any jobs due to this "problem."

But the owners had explicit faith in their employees.👍 

After Ms. Donna lost yet another job they created the "Marketing Manager" position [the sneaks] as a way to put Ms. Donna in our midst hoping WE could somehow put things into motion for what THEY were too afraid of trying to do themselves.  So in effect I then became THEIR catalyst.💥 

As they listened to the very excellent "tact" I used to make Ms. Donna aware of the situation the owners couldn't stop laughing.  Gave me a huge raise!  Said they were going to give the rest one too.😃

"Uh, may I please make a phone call right away?  I need to stop a revolt from happening!"🤣

The owners had a long talk with their son and daughter in-law who finally acknowledged she had a problem.  Somehow it all got resolved, she got a brand new job and the last I heard was still working at the same place after many years odor free.👏

Amazing.  And all because of the very excellent tact I used...😂💥

In The Distance...

I have always loved T.S. Eliot's quote, "What we call the beginning is often the end.  And to make an end is to make a beginning."

Oh how my life has been filled with a thousand ends to beginnings!  Many scattered throughout this blog.

I have shared my friends Lacy, her brother Rob with you, and how we soared upon our horses to escape the horrors of violence with alcoholism we had to live with, making us adults way before we were supposed to be adults.  The bond we three shared was deep, wrapped in our even deeper loving devotion to our horses.

One day beneath the same tree where we found all that change after swimming with our horses a year earlier, we spread out a map of the United States on the ground in desperation.  We had decided to take our horses and ride to a place far away in the distance where we could finally be free of the violence and hate.

I will never forget this moment beneath our comfort tree.  

"Adelaide, look," said Rob.  "There are too many towns jammed close to each other all the way till Colorado, Wyoming, Montana, and Nevada!  We've gotta go where there aren't any people around for miles."

"I know, but we have to make sure we choose a green area on the map in those states so we have grass for the horses, and water for us all to drink."

"I wonder how many miles we'll travel on our horses each day," thought Lacy outloud.

Rob enthusiastically said, "Well at least fifty or even a hundred!"

Suddenly, on the map I noticed a huge wide open area with lots of green in east central Wyoming.  "Hey look!  The ONLY little town in all THAT space is this tiny Sweetwater Lake!"

Lacy and Rob really liked the sound of the place too, and we decided with a name like that it just had to be our shining light in the distance.  So Sweetwater Lake, Wyoming would soon be our new home...our beginning of the ending we sought hard to free ourselves from.

With an ink pen we mapped out our route for riding our horses on backroads to keep anyone from finding us.  

Oh, did we ever come close to leaving too!  

How close?  At 3am one morning we met at our comfort tree on our horses carrying everything we could in backpacks.  We were DOING it.  Only none of us had considered checking the weather first.  

Just as we were ready to leave on our beginning, a very intense thunderstorm with high winds struck.  Out of concern for our horses we realized for their sake we had to get them back to their stalls.  Sadly, we had to return.  No one even knew we had ever left.

Eventually, it was due to the deep abiding love for our horses we reluctantly decided the long journey may bring harm to them, and this was just something we would ever risk doing.  Sadly we had to cast our dreams for our beginnings aside.

Often as we rode together, we wondered if the distance beyond our shared sorrows could ever shine a light into our lives.  Would we each ever attain peace, love, and happiness?

Regardless what happened to us though, we promised to stay close and be best friends forever.  Only all our beginnings and ends soon took us far away from each other, yet never can take away the shining treasured memories of what we shared in the very dark midst of hell.  

When I was staying at the Orphanage, my fellow 

"adults before our time" in kids bodies due to what our adults did to us and I would lay in our beds imagining if the distance beyond the living hell our adults kept us in would ever mean one day love could be ours to actually hold in our grasp and keep.  We younger kids even dared to believe in finding love and happiness oneday.

Of course the older kids said we younger ones were filled with shit because THEIR hearts had been shattered so they no longer held hope anymore.  Soon we all were shattered when the kids were all sent to foster homes, and the Orphanage...our separate peace...closed forever as all were scattered away forever with the wind.

Thankfully I came packaged with an indomitable spirit and an irrepressible sense of hope my intense losses could really one day be my beginning.  

Like Gibran said so well, "The deeper sorrow carves into our soul the more joy we attain."

And trust me, this is true.

The ends were my beginning, for I found my mentor friends who poured their sweet love into me and I began my surviva-soaring, loving and being loved.  I had at last reached the bright shining distance beyond the darkness.

My end will be a beginning beyond the distance too one day.  A beginning like no other, for this beginning will be when I finally soar to Heaven, for I will at last be free of all the pain and suffering with my life of physical challenges.  And you know what?  I may just be waaay taller than I have ever known, and even able to get on my horses easier.🤣

You see, my dear ones, our lives are many beginnings and endings, with love, sorrow, happiness, and laughter interwoven throughout, like a rich, wonderful tapestry, weaving the threads into something beautiful on top.  But the chaotic sorrows of our many beginnings and ends woven beneath makes all the treasure happen.

So keep your head held high, my dear ones, and hold onto faith, hope, love, and optimism, for you see, there is always, ALWAYS...a bright shining distance to reach beyond the darkness.  And you know what?  It's beautiful.

The stars shine bright because darkness is what makes stars shine bright.

The chaos of the beginnings and ends of our most shattering challenges beneath the tapestry of our lives is what makes living the tapestry of our lives into such beautiful creations above the chaos...in the distance, until at last our tapestry is complete.  And that end is just the beginning.

Mustang Show Ring...

"An' now we have Miz Adelaide on Sadie enterin' tha ring, folks, fer tha Pony Flat Race!  Ya an' Sadie ready, Miz Adelaide?  Okay!  On tha mark, git set, an' GOOOO!!!  Lookit them agallopin', folks!  In a cloud of dust!  Why, they is aflyin' those two!  Aroun' tha barrel they goin'!  Tearin' fer home now!  WOW!!!  Miz Adelaide an' Sadie 'ave dun broke tha record by aclockin' in at an astoundin' 9.2 seconds!  Let's us all give Miz Adelaide an' Sadie a roun' of applause 'ere, folks!  Come on back in tha ring an' git yer trophy muh dear!"

Mr. Lockey and his wife owned and ran The Mustang Show Ring for years.  It was nothing fancy.  Just a kind of broken down place with strands of light bulbs around the dusty ring.  Yet for some of us kids and adults it was the best place ever to be each Saturday night from May through August.  There were about fifty of us regulars and often others came now and then.  Some came just to watch.  Hamburgers, hotdogs, chips, and cokes were for sale and the restroom facilities were behind someone's horse van.

My best friends Lacy, her brother Rob, and their horses, Vandalla, and Havoc always came too.  The three of us lived with the sadness and violence of alcoholism in our families.  And we knew how lucky we three were to have our horses who were everything to us.  Since we didn't have horse vans we three rode our horses a few miles to the show ring each week as the summer sun went down.  We also would bring bags to carry the trophies we hoped to win, and often had one or more to carry home along with many ribbons too.

Out of concern for us though, after the show when it was very dark either the Lockey's or other participants would follow behind us till we safely got to our homes.  We were always so touched they cared that much to do this for us!  They had to wonder where our parents were but I suspect they had a feeling our home lives were not easy.  And why our horses meant so much to each of us.  To pay the fifty cent entry fee for each class we showed in, we each babysat and did odd jobs besides paying the upkeep for our horses.

Since I never used a saddle I was somewhat limited on the amount of classes I could participate in, but there were several I could.  Usually it was the Halter Class, Bareback Class, Pony Flat Race, Egg Race.  The Egg Race was keeping an egg on a spoon as one galloped around the ring.  The last rider with an egg on the spoon was the winner.  A few times I was actually the last one who still managed to keep the egg on my spoon!

The rest of the classes were Western Classes, calf roping, and Barrel Races.

Never once in the three years we showed there was I ever called midget or ridiculed in any way, so The Mustang Show Ring is a bright chapter of my childhood I hold dearly.  I still have some of the trophies and ribbons too.

After the third year we showed there the Lockeys had to retire due to health issues and everyone kind of just scattered away in the dusty wind.

But never the sweet memories of those summer nights at The Mustang Show Ring "agallopin'" as fast as the wind.

Those Labels...

As I have touched on before, ever since I held a crayon in my art my horses are all free, without halters, bridles, and fences.  It didn't take long for me to understand the deep meaning as to why.  As a Little Person with a HUGE spirit or force of life bursting from within, I have always had to strive to break free of definitions placed upon me, and all of us.  

We become defined by our physical appearance, where we live, what we believe, our race, sexual preference, wealth, on and on.  As I continue writing today on The Label as it has affected MY life, I am writing on behalf of all who are affected by The Labels. 🏷

This morning the song, "I Am Woman," was playing.  Suddenly I was reminded of The Labels. 🏷  For when I have played the song on the piano somewhere, or mentioned it, I will get, "Now wait a minute, YOU are a LITTLE woman though."  

"What?!!  WHY CAN'T I BE JUST A WOMAN TOO?!!" 

After all, I was engaged to a wonderful, HANDSOME 5'11" man who fell in love with me for being an amazing WOMAN who changed his life, for he had despaired of ever finding the woman of his dreams.  I just happened to be packaged in a unique body HE thought beautiful.  Actually he loved my sense of humor too.  And oh, did I love him.  (For anyone new Aiden died in an accident just before we married, however I still wear the rings and always will).💕

I have often shared how as soon as I leave my home, I encounter the RUDE, mean Label Givers, and have all my life.  To Little People the word midget is as deeply offensive to us as the "N" word is to African Americans.  Yet many could care less.  It is the more insidious, demeaning Label aspect I/we endure.  Though I have refused to let it define me.  If I did, I never would have become who I am.

Many years ago I spoke to a very nice lady (on the phone at least) about an apartment she had for rent.  She was quite impressed with my job and the fact I also owned a horse.  Was keen to meet and show the apartment to me.  When she opened the door to have Adelaide standing before her, she immediately changed.  SCREAMED at me, "What gives YOU the right to rent my apartment, you MIDGET!!!"  And slammed the door in my face.😖  

I have never had a problem getting a job...that is, until I changed my tactics when I was young.  I quickly found if I mentioned to interested theatres that I was a Little Person on the phone BEFORE meeting them, even though highly qualified the set design position could suddenly become UNAVAILABLE.  So I quit playing The Label game by NOT saying a thing about being height challenged on the phone.  No more problems ever getting work.  Especially after I became known for my talent. 

When I was sought after as a speaker, it was because I was known as being a powerful speaker who inspired.  The Little Person negativity Label didn't even exist in people's minds.

Obviously I am physically a Little Person, there is no denying this.  However, it's when "Little Person" morphs into societies' Label with all its negativity, that IT becomes dehumanizing.  And THIS is the problem with what The Labels🏷 are.  The humanity with respect is lost.  That is, aside from the part of society who is NOT concerned with these insidious Labels.

Unless The Labels 🏷 ever change, it is up to us who are Labelled to become strong in self 🙌 respect, to love and to believe in ourselves.  And to also be darn sure we have those around us who embrace us free of Labels.

One thing for certain though, in my whole life, I have never ever had ANYONE say anything negative about me when I am on or with one of my horses!  No Labels there!  

And THAT is sweet...oh, so sweet, because my horses always break me free.🐎😃🐎💫

Alive...In A Hearse...

One of the many serendipitous things I have been blessed to do along my galloping journey was to ride 

in the back of a hearse once...ALIVE...

When one is this somewhat crazy dwarf-horse-artist-hippie-theatre-wandering-adventurous-fun loving hooman, one can gather a very amusing assortment of friends and really keep quite busy getting into all kinds of activities with them.😂

Two of my dearest best friends from Theatre were John and partner Martin.  We had a large circle of both gay and straight friends who all did a lot together.

Now then, I did not have a problem when I turned thirty as some do because I'd already had two spine surgeries which I had to learn how to walk again from...twice, besides hospitalized on a Pediatric Oncology ward for months to receive a new bone marrow treatment for life threatening problems with my blood counts.  So I was just thrilled to have even MADE it to thirty!😃

However, by the time I was about to turn thirty-five was another story.  I had just been diagnosed a month before my birthday with the severe, extremely painful inflammation disease within my spinal cord and given a terrifying prognosis.  No one knew exactly what to expect when, other than things would begin horribly shutting down as the terrible disease made its way upward.  And the pain would worsen aside from 

all my other orthopaedic pain as well.

Since I was still so young and full of life this diagnosis  was very hard to take.  I knew I had to keep fighting because that's what I know...what I do.  Yet it was quite hard to think of celebrating a birthday in the midst of where my body was taking me.

But John and Martin knew just what to do.  Since they knew what I was dealing with and also what a wicked sense of humour I have, to work they went.

You see they wanted to help me meet my future head on and felt what better way to help a friend who was just handed a terminal prognosis than to rent a HEARSE for a birthday surprise?!!🤪  To just meet this thing head on with laughter and love, you know?!!😂💕

Somehow John, Martin, and the gang managed to keep the birthday surprise a secret from me.  Like a Theatre performance everything was perfectly planned and orchestrated.  And my birthday just happened to be on a Saturday. 

That morning John called me.  

"Sweet Adelaide, dahlin,' Martin and I are picking you 

up at 5pm to take you out to eat and we absolutely will NOT accept "no" for an answer!"

"But what if I have other..."  

"WE know you don't yet dear, so you just be ready at five and DRESS UP!  And honey, be sure you wear black!"

It didn't occur to me as to HOW those two knew I hadn't made any plans yet or why I HAD to wear black!🤣

At 5pm precisely I heard a very strange sounding horn tooting for me.  

I stepped out the door to find a long black old style hearse waiting at the road festooned with black balloons, and both John and Martin dressed up in very fancy black suits at the side laughing.  Hysterically.🤣

So was I.😂

Of course when everyone else on the street heard the strange horn, they too came out shocked to see such a strange scene unfolding!🤔

The hearse had been remodeled thankfully.  The area which once held the coffin now had seats of which I was flamboyantly escorted to.

Martin could not contain his excitement, "Oh are WE going to have SO much fun tonight, dear!"

Then both together, "Happy Birthday dahlin'!  We love you!"💕

There was room for six more and the first stop was to pick up five friends waiting for us.  Soon we were all in and heading out to eat.  One might have thought the plan was to eat somewhere snazzy, right?!!  Not with these guys!😂

They wanted to have as much fun with the hearse as possible so we went to...wait for it...👇

A car hop!🤣

Oh my gosh, you should have seen the looks on the faces of staff and other customers when we pulled up in this hearse festooned with black balloons!  At a car hop!😂

Sasha and the guys had gathered a bunch of hearse, funeral, and yes, even death jokes, then began pouring them out with gales of laughter as all of us were in hysterics while trying to eat.

We then made a stop at a small Theatre to see...wait 

for it...👇

A funny play about someone DYING...who was trying to cram some fun in before going!  The whole cast was in on the festivities too.  So after the Theatre was finally empty we all gathered on the stage as the house lights were dimmed.

Suddenly from stage right came the lead cast member carrying a lighted birthday cake with black candles as everyone sang loudly "Happy Birthday" to me!  Such fun, camaraderie, and laughter!

Then it got serious for a bit.  I was asked what things I would yet like to do before things got worse, by Jason who played the dying one in the play.  I could think of two things at that moment.  One is something that has eluded me in being able to do which has been a burning desire to gallop a horse on a beach.  Yet I have galloped everywhere else.🐎😃🐎💕

The other?  

"To always...ALWAYS...continue to have these magical serendipitous moments like this with friends, laughter, creativity, fun, and horses filling my journey to the very end if possible."💕

The next stop was to our favorite bar, City Lights, which had an amazing rock band whose lead singer Priscilla, was a lady we all knew and loved.  Priscilla was in on the birthday festivities too and was the sixth one to join us after we closed City Lights down.

Our next stop was to all pile into a Waffle House for breakfast.  Imagine the shock when everyone saw a hearse pull up!😂

Finally, as the sun began coming up I was brought back home with fanfare to where the birthday of a lifetime all began.  It certainly WAS the birthday of a lifetime!😃

So this, my dear ones, is how Adelaide had the once in 

a lifetime experience of riding in a HEARSE...  

...ALIVE.🐎😂🐎💕💫

The Dance Of Adelaide...

So I was in the city of Lexington recently to see one of my doctors for us to determine how alive I still am and with a bladder like mine must use the restroom often.  Which then brings us to the paper towel dispensers found in public bathrooms.  You know, the one with the magic sensors which release a section of paper towel?  That is assuming of course, one is tall enough for the sensor to recognize there is a hooman down here, which trust me they don't.🙄

At this point one has three options:

1.  Not wash hands  (NO WAY!)

2.  Wash hands and leave dripping (then quickly assure the doctor who warmly grabs your hand to greet you it's not pee making it wet)😂

3.  Do the Adelaide Dance👇

The Adelaide Dance involves one having the ability to execute some serious dance moves because after all the outcome is very important here.  While raising both arms in the air and waving them, dance wildly.  Move to the left.  Move to the right.  Close in on the sensor.  Back away.  Do a spin.  Jump up and down.  Repeat as necessary.  Can at times be successful however this process absolutely will not work if one dissolves into laughter.🤣

Now then, Public Toilets.  You know, the many now designed for wheelchair users?  Believe me for a wheelchair user these are a huge blessing I applaud.  For a still mobile Little Person these toilets are as high as the sky!  I am not kidding here folks, they nearly come up to my chest!😱

I have heard from other Little People some face these and climb on as one would climb a mountain.  But Public Toilets are very seldom clean ones.  NO WAY would I ever put my hands and clothing all over one to climb on like a mountain.🥴

So the only other alternative is to hopefully be a athletic Little Person capable of leaping from a car 
hood to the backs of her horses.  Only instead of leaping forwards, performing the hopping high to the sky leap of faith BACKwards.🙃

Quite often this endeavor was successful, however I imagine most of you probably do not realize just how large those seat openings are do you?  Well I do because those openings would come close to swallowing your Adelaide right up.  Rather down, I mean.  Not good, not good.  Especially if the seat is slippery and the toilet paper dispenser one grabs before sliding into the abyss comes off the wall.🥴

Thankfully nowadays an ingenious item got created.  It's a easy to carry with a handle fold up step stool made now which I am never without when in public.  However it doesn't help with motion sensors.😱

Now we come to automatic doors.  Automatic doors come with sensors too, with serious design flaws failing to recognize there is a hooman down here seeking to get in or out.  So they refuse to open.  Discreetly trying to be recognized by these never works.  And usually these doors have huge lobbies nearby where lots of people are seated thus providing the hooman with an audience who are quick to take notice of the free entertainment being provided for them while they are waiting for whatever they are waiting for.  Trust me, few ever get up to actually assist the damsel in distress desperately trying to get in or out.🙄  

So at this point, one has three options:

1.  Scream and use swear words (NO WAY!  Not becoming if an audience is present!)😱

2.  Wait (assuming one does not have a plane to catch) for someone to come along going through the same doors

3.  Do a different version of the Adelaide Dance than the one reserved for Paper Towel sensors👇

This version of the Adelaide Dance became created when I discovered where many automatic door sensors are located which is usually way higher than I am off to the right or left side.🙃

For this version of the Adelaide Dance one must execute some very good leaping towards the heavens and waving ones arms about facing to the right.  If this isn't successful it could either mean one failed to leap high enough, or wave ones arms correctly, or one needs to face left because the sensor is on the left rather than the right, then repeat the Dance.😂

If the Adelaide Dance fails and one has either a plane to catch or is in need of a restroom facility very quickly, try doing #2 because eventually someone will come along going the way you are allowing one to catch a ride on their height ability which activates the door sensor.  Should they become aware one is using said person's height ability to open the door do exuberantly thank 
them.😃👏

This actually happened to me once catching a flight to Seattle, and the man whose height ability I needed and exuberantly thanked him for wound up not only on the same flight but was seated next to me!  We had a very delightful visit in which he discovered I owned and galloped on horses, then...wait for it...🤣

"How DO you get ON your horses?!!"😂

So my dear ones, should you come across a height compromised hooman dancing and waving before anything with a motion sensor please kindly offer to extend your height abilities to assist them.🤣