I think you may find this and a few other road trips to hopefully be as funny as we did following the passages of time. That is after lawyer fees were finally paid off, the various restitutions made and all that stuff.😂🎭
Sometimes a theatre will either offer for sale or even give away items which are deemed quite useful to Scene Designers, Prop Managers, and even Artistic Directors of other theatres. Of course these items were far too many or far too large to be shipped by normal means thus necessitating the need for a road trip. And not always the people one would normally choose to take a road trip...with.🤣
When I was Scene Designer for a theatre in Michigan
I had a young Intern named Scott who was just beginning his career. The theatre also had a very pompous not too fondly thought of Artistic Director whose name was actually Edward, but he insisted everyone call him EduARD instead.
One day right smack in the midst of preparing theatre sets for the new season Eduard came bursting into the Scene Shop all excited.
"I have the most wonderful news!"
This tended to always be "wonderful news" only for Eduard and not the remainder of the world and certainly not for the Scene Designer and her Intern. But since Eduard came to us this meant he had already failed to illicit any enthusiasm from the Prop Manager Alyssa, or Michelle the Executive Director who really couldn't stand Eduard anyway.
"Okay Eduarrrd, Scott and I give up. What's your wonderful news and how come you're telling us?"
"I am SO excited! A department store going out of business in Chicago is getting rid of their mannequins!"
"And?"
"Well I successfully bid on them!"
"That's lovely. Uh Eduarrrd, could you move please so I can paint this section?"
"But Adelaide, I need to go pick them up!"
Since mannequins clearly fell under the Props Department I had a sickening feeling where this was going. For believe it or not I owned a pickup truck then which is how some of my horses went where I did pulling them in the horse van behind me. And often when one drives a pickup truck others tend to have uses for it.
"Adelaide we need your truck!"
"No problem, it's automatic."
"But I just won't drive a truck!"
"Well get Alyssa to go with you. Mannequins do fall under her department anyway."
"After the Detroit fiasco Alyssa refuses to travel anywhere with me ever again."
"We don't blame her. And let me guess, you expect me..."
"Actually Scott and you..."
"Uh Scott...I'll be right back. I need to urgently see Michelle a moment."
It turned out Michelle had been convinced having five mannequins on hand could possibly be quite useful for the theatre to have. Only there were six to pickup as Eduarrrd wanted one for himself for which purpose we did NOT want to know.
Michelle promised if Scott and I did this with Eduarrrd we would be well compensated.
"Oh crap! You mean Scott and I must to take Eduarrrd with us?!!"
So this is how Adelaide, Scott, and Eduarrrd were forced to be on a road trip together the next day. Assuming all went well we could get there and back by the end of the day.
But it didn't quite go as planned you see, otherwise I wouldn't be telling you this story.🙃
In Chicago Eduarrrd just couldn't have the mannequins lying down with a tarp tied tightly over them, oh no. Eduarrrd insisted that the two men and four women be in the sitting position. As if mannequins (with no clothes) are seen everyday riding in the back of a pickup truck flying down an interstate while seemingly having a tea party?!!
Scott and I knew something had to go wrong.
It did.
As we were flying down the interstate I suddenly felt the truck begin listing which could only mean one thing...a flat tire. I pulled over.
Sure enough. A flat tire.
To get to the spare the mannequins had to all be unloaded onto the side of the busy interstate. With Eduarrrd.
Thankfully I had Scott with me. Unfortunately the spare did not look good but we had to put it on. There was a town a few miles further up the interstate so I decided Scott and I would take the flat and if it couldn't be fixed have a new one put on.
Suddenly it hit Eduarrrd he was going to be left alone with the six mannequins. Knowing how distracting it would appear to drivers suddenly seeing a bunch of mannequins we moved them down a little hill before
we left.
"You're not leaving me alone are you?!!"
"Uh yes, Eduarrrd. We must leave you alone otherwise someone could take your mannequins you spent a huge amount of money for. And I need Scott's help with these tires."
"Adelaide?"
"What?"
"Can you bring me a coffee and pastry or maybe a sandwich with..."
"Eduarrrd! We're going!"
Before we took off I must say the sight of Eduarrrd sitting in the grass along with six sitting clothesless mannequins was quite a funny sight to see. But not like the sight Scott and I came upon when we returned two hours later!
You see, while we were waiting for the guy at the service station to put a new tire on the truck, Scott and
I began hearing a police exchange over the CB Radio the guy had. It seems reports were pouring in about some crazy dude surrounded by a group of nudists carrying out a ritual! Nudists! By the interstate?!!😱
As Scott and I soon were westbound coming back we could see a whole bunch of blue lights blazing on the eastbound side. When we slowed with the traffic we caught sight of the mannequins.
Only the mannequins were no longer sitting as we left them. Oh no. Eduarrrd decided to get creative while he waited. And what did the idiot do but position the mannequins in various stages of having sex! By the side of a busy interstate!🙄
For a brief moment Scott and I considered leaving Eduarrrd behind to extricate himself from his own predicament but being the decent hoomans we both were we just couldn't.😂
Once we got ourselves to the next exit we got back on the interstate heading eastbound again. Slowly we approached the scene. Unfortunately we added to it somewhat after a Little Person...THE LITTLE PERSON DRIVING A PICKUP TRUCK(?!!) appeared who was connected with the nudist colony all having sex on the side of the interstate!🤔
By now Eduarrrd was handcuffed and seated in the back of a police cruiser. We learned Eduarrrd had been busy doing something else too while we were gone, for Eduarrrd had been drinking! DRINKING?!!
Obviously unbeknownst to Scott and myself Eduarrrd brought along one very full flask of whiskey with him which he always carried. Then as soon as we left he began drinking away!
First he moved the mannequins back up the little hill. Then the more he drank the more creative he became with the mannequins. On the side of the interstate! It's funny now but none of us were laughing then. He could have caused an accident!😱
The officers were very intrigued to meet a Little Person who not only drove a pickup truck but had a horse and was a Theatre Scene Designer! So they decided to release Eduarrrd. Also the mannequins, but on their own recognizance. However, Eduarrrd would have to return to appear in court charged with disorderly conduct and a whole slew of other things.
After we were back on our way Scott gave the very less animated Eduarrrd the cold by now coffee and pastry we had gotten him.
"Are you going to tell Michelle about this?"
"Eduarrrd, YOU are. If you don't, I will. There is no way she will not hear of this."
And oh was I right too.
For you see a bunch of "nudists making love alongside an interstate" brought out the local newspaper photographers. Then those pictures found their ways into all the other local newspapers too.🤔
Let's just say Eduarrrd and his mannequin moved on to places unknown thereafter!😂
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