I Never Imagined THIS...

I never ever imagined writing a blog like this...

As I was getting my mail today a man pickup truck with a "Make America Great Again" bumper sticker on it stopped and began yelling at me why in light of my being a "m*dg*t" I not just throw in the towel.  Why do I continue trying to live.  That I should get it over with because "ones like ME...need to," HE said.  

This pissed me off.  As I have shared here before when encountering this level of hate these days it is not safe for me to respond because we do not know what it is we're dealing with or how far they can go.  Or if they have a gun on them.  So I must stuff my rage.

Please bear with me though as I express it here.  

How dare anyone tell me to do away with myself to make the world better!  If I have never thought of doing it in sixty-five years, I sure as hell am not now. 

WHY? 

Because "throwing in the towel" is NOT...ME.  I was born with an indomitable fighting spirit which is all I have ever known and have fought like hell from childhood to keep rising above one challenge after another, never giving up for.  It is NOT in my psyche TO give up.  Even after Aiden died.  Even as sick as I am now.  Even with the ridicule.  "Throwing in the towel" is NOT...my...truth,

and never has been. 

WHY?

Because my indomitable spirit has always embraced an innate sense of courage and gratitude for the many reasons in my life TO WANT to LIVE.  To keep pouring everything within me to experience LIFE at its fullest.

Because despite any challenges I have endured, the beauty, goodness, wonders, and the joy of my LIVING have filled any places sorrow dare carved or the horrors of illness.

WHY?

Because I still have a right to be here.  I still have many reasons yet to BE here.  Because I am still making a difference in other lives.  By trying to finish art projects.  By writing this blog and keeping it going.  By still touching lives of people around the world I do not even know.  By still touching lives of people around the world

I am so blessed and so damn grateful TO know and care about who make my life worth fighting for each moment, each day.

WHY?

Because I also matter to those everywhere who make my life worth fighting for.  And they don't give a damn how my body is packaged.

WHY?

I will NOT be defeated by the ugliness in the world 

now either, nor should anyone else.  I embrace gratitude and kindness and so do all whose lives make mine worth fighting for.

My dear ones, how blessed we are.  We are love.  Never ever let go of that.  Walk in love and defy all hate.  Love is stronger than hate.  

And the love or hate we live defines how we are remembered after we are gone.