The Accident...

Since I understandably have been asked what happened to Aiden's horse Sierra after he died, 

and about the accident too, I shall touch on these today.  

It is still very emotionally hard for me to revisit the accident even after all these years.

Aiden loved scuba diving.  Like roller coasters, scuba diving was also something we could not do together due to my lack of height, though I so would have loved to do these.  Yet we did snorkel together when we could.

While on a business trip to Florida Aiden stayed an extra day so he could go scuba diving at a place he had been to once before.  He had taken his scuba diving suit along, but of course needed to rent an oxygen tank.

Alone, Aiden was diving not far offshore.  Because he failed to return after the oxygen tank would have become empty, divers immediately went out looking for him in the area he was diving.  

We will never know exactly what happened, but something went wrong with the oxygen tank and apparently he became incapacitated before he could surface and died.  Tears are running down my cheeks writing this.  It's the not knowing what he went through and the terror he must have had. 

Because we were living together the coroner in Florida contacted the coroner in the city we lived, who came to break the news to me, in addition to needing more information.  The worst moment of my life.  It then fell upon me to inform his dear parents.

Aiden's parents lived in another town.  Because 

it was after 10pm and I was alone and not in any shape to make the long drive, I had no choice but 

to call them.  Until I got them BOTH on the phone, 

I tried to sound as normal as I could.  Yet they immediately knew something was wrong by a 

catch they heard in my voice.

It was one of the hardest things I ever had to do.

We broke down.

Somehow in the midst of profound sorrow with 

the blur of days, arrangements were made and a Memorial Service was held.  

Aiden's parents then drove to Florida because they wanted to see exactly where he died and talk to all who were there that day.  And to be taken out in a boat to spread rose petals where he was found.

There was no question BUT that Sierra would remain with Patches and under my care.  Sierra was nineteen at the time.  One day when she was twenty-two I called their names as usual, and only Patches came.  Immediately I knew something wasn't right, and got on Patches to find her.  

I found her laying on her side.  Thankfully Sierra appeared to have gone peacefully, with no signs of struggle, colic or other things.  The vet said her heart just stopped.  She even had a mouthful of grass she had been chewing.  I could envision the two galloping across the stars, and that FINALLY, Sierra was letting Aiden catch her to ride.🤩💫

Obviously Aiden's death was the most devastating on his parents and myself.  Especially when I had to cancel all our wedding arrangements.  The day of what would have been our wedding day a month after he died was especially hard.

Though I remained very close to Aiden's parents, and we would talk each week for the remainder of their lives, soon after Sierra died a theatre needed me, and off Patches and I went for what became my last theatre job and final move due to my failing health.

Aiden's father really had a difficult time with losing his son and as I later learned, grieved terribly for me and the lifetime together Aiden and I were to share now gone, knowing how happy and in love we were.  Four years after Aiden died his father had a massive heartattack and passed away.

Aiden's mother sold the house and moved into an independent care type home.  Later she was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and although 

she gave it a hard fight, lost her battle.

My heart still aches with the intense deep sadness of losing the one I loved so deeply and always will.  I am so grateful for the time we had.  

Some have often asked why I don't feel cheated by having had so many heartbreaking losses and challenges my whole life, besides all the physical ones too.  They say I could easily be excused for feeling anger and bitterness.  Perhaps, but I saw at a very young age how anger and bitterness destroy people, causing terrible pain, fear, and anguish for a innocent child and resolved to never let these have power to destroy me too.

And I haven't.  As my journey hopefully attests, no matter what I have lived through and continue to I have borne my pain without losing heart.  May you all find the inspiration and strength to do the same.  

One thing I have learned most on this journey of mine is courage must be held in our grasp to not lose heart, my dear ones.😍💫 

             I looked and suddenly he was gone.