The way Sadie came into my life...

The deeper that sorrow carves into our soul, the more joy we may attain.      -Kahlil Gibran

As I have touched on what my childhood was like regarding alcoholic parents with terrible problems, I will share how my beloved Shetland pony Sadie came into my life.

Besides my parents fighting all the time, my drunken father would get very violent towards me for no reason.  Then when he saw the awful wounds the next day he would feel horrible trying hard to make up for the abuse inflicted.  Perhaps HE felt better yet as the still terrified abused one, MY feelings differed.  And I yet have all the physical scars of these.

There was one time after the wounds were especially bad he felt so terrible I was taken to see the man down the road who raised Shetland ponies.  Since we had over an acre of land we were allowed a horse so that was the day Sadie came home with me.  

This DEFINITELY was NOT the way to have your lifelong dream finally come true at all but there it was.  I then helped my father and a friend build a small shelter and a corral for her. 

I really needed this pony.

Sadie set me free.  Not from the abuse but in other desperately needed ways.  There were all kinds of trails and great places to ride back then and we soared across them all.  NO ONE ridiculed me or was mean when I was on her.  She was my separate peace...my freedom.

I took care of Sadie before and after school even if I

was sick.  And I constantly babysat using all the money to buy her feed, hay, and whatever else was needed.  Sadie was my responsibility and I wasn't about to have my parents ever say a thing about expense or anything else.  I made damn sure all her needs were met because I lived in terror she could be taken away.  In the horrors and uncertainty of my life then anything happened.

To an extent, with my dear Sadie I could escape those horrors some.  For as the drinking, fighting, humiliation, and violence continued, Sadie made all the difference to my being able to survive it.  

So yes, the deeper sorrow carves into our soul the more joy we can attain.  For a ridiculed child living in hell that joy came with four legs, brought love, hope, and the way to begin soaring.

Swimming with horses...

All I seek is Heaven above me, and a horse beneath me.

"Hey Adelaide!  Let's swim across on our horses!"

"Oh Rob," said Lacy to her brother, "do you think we should?  It could be deep."

"Yeah," I responded, "but it would be fun!  And besides, it's SO hot today!" 

"Aww common, Lacy!  Let's do it for the horses!" said Rob, as we both looked at Lacy with our pleading eyes which always worked.

Now this wasn't just any pond.  This was a HUGE pond, about the equivalent of a soccer/football field!  On my Shetland pony, Sadie.  With my best friends Lacy and her brother Rob and their horses I recently wrote about in my "Mustang Show Ring" blog.

Sadie was a dear, sweet black and white pinto, and she absolutely LOVED water!  We couldn't just cross a creek, you see.  Sadie had to splash in it until she got us both drenched...which is exactly why I never went anywhere NEAR a creek during winters.

Lacy's horse was a beautiful black Quarter Horse mare named Vandalla, and Rob's horse Havoc was a large black and white pinto pony.  They, like me, rode bareback and often barefoot too, during the summer months.  And there was not a trail or field for miles we hadn't galloped on with our beloved horses.  

As I touched on before, we three lived with alcoholism and violence in our homes, which not only made us profoundly grateful for our horses, but for each other too.

One bright summer day we discovered this amazing long trail that went through a forest, and then suddenly opened up into these vast fields with this HUGE pond.  It was when we took our horse and ponies to let them drink and Sadie began splashing, that Rob thought it would be great fun for us to swim across.  Something none of us had ever done before. 

All we did was give the three each a little nudge and they plunged in with no hesitation!  Since Sadie was a small pony, we began swimming immediately!  Rather, she swam and I swam beside her holding onto her mane and the reins.  Vandalla with Lacy, and Havoc with Rob, were soon swimming next to us doing the same.

We hadn't exactly planned the best way we should exit the pond though, which would have been a very good thing to have planned first.  Like should we try to be on their backs when we came out? 

As we neared the shore, we instinctively floated over their backs, so when they came out, we would be on them.  Hopefully.  Only horses become very slippery when soaking wet.  And I am talking SLIPPERY.  VERY SLIPPERY.

We made a grand exit beneath a grove of trees when we came out of the pond.  Immediately our horses shook off the water, and then each of us too.  Laughing our heads off.  

AND THAT IS WHEN WE SAW IT.

Apparently older teenagers or young adults used the secluded place to have fun and romance.  And they were carrying huge amounts of loose change on them too, which had escaped their pockets unawares, for before us change was everywhere!

By the time we gathered it all up and counted it, there was exactly $6.30, which back in those days and to three kids who earned money to care for our horses, it was a hell of a lot of money to find!  Dividing it we each had $2.10 and were thrilled!

In those days there was a country store not far from where we were, called The Hitching Post, with an actual hitching post in front for their horseback riding clientele.  Only when we three were lucky enough to have Coke money, we took turns going in because we were so protective of our horses.

Immediately we rode to The Hitching Post.  We could have bought comic books and a bunch of candy, but we didn't.  We did each buy a Coke, candy bar, and a carrot and apple for each of our horses.  As we sat beneath a tree enjoying these with our horses, we were still marveling at both the swimming and finding treasure we wouldn't have found had we not gone swimming with our horses in the first place.

Soon it was time to go our separate ways and head to whatever would be waiting for us at our homes.  Yet we all three decided that no matter what happened or where our lives would take us, we had just shared the best day young friends may have that neither time, distance, or circumstance could ever take from our grasp.

Little bits...

These are little pieces not really long enough for a blog entire, yet funny and interesting (I hope) to share...🐎💫

In my blog piece, "To See A Doctor," I told the amazing story how Dr. Kopits, renown orthopaedic surgeon for Little People became my doctor.  What I didn't tell in the piece was how I nearly injured him...

Many of my doctors often ask me to press my hand 

or foot against their hands to determine how much strength or neurological movement I have, as all my surgeons did prior to seeing Dr. Kopits.  

So Dr. Kopits and I were seated in chairs close together, directly across from each other.

"Now Adelaide, press your foot against my hands as hard as you can."

"Uh, Dr. Kopits, shouldn't we do this with me on the table pressing down on your hands?"

"Don't worry, this way is fine.  Give it all you've got."

"Okaaay..."

Immediately Dr. Kopits came to the conclusion that 

with me being both a horse person and doing a very physically demanding job for decades, I was far stronger than many of his patients he was used to seeing.  For when he insisted I show him how much strength I had in my right leg, I gave it all I had as requested. 

Again, keep in mind we were seated very close directly across from one another...

Let's just say had he not reacted as fast as he did, my foot came extremely close to making contact with a region of his male anatomy, very highly unintended on my part I must say.😳

For a very brief moment Dr. Kopits, his nurse, and I were at a loss for words.  However, if you've been reading this blog for awhile, you will not be surprised by what happened next, because yours truly burst into laughter.  They burst into laughter.  All three of us dissolved into uncontrollable laughter with tears streaming down our faces.

"Well you TOLD me to give it all I had, Dr. Kopits!"😂

I know I was born with the soul of a horse, because I never remember seeing my first one, yet from as early as I can remember, I have had a passion for horses far too deep for words.  And my deepest passion has always been for wild horses, running free, living free, born free.  From the time I could hold a crayon, I began drawing them.  Never halters, bridles, or fences are ever in my equine art.  I am quite sure there must be some deep symbolism here, for though my soaring spirit has seldom been defined by being a Little Person, I still am trapped in this painful broken body which constantly gets ridiculed as happens to all Little People.  My most successful, longest selling print is entitled, "Breaking Free."  The drawing says it all, because this is what I have always done...lived a very soaring, daring, loving, and at times, hell of a fun journey regardless.🐎😃🐎

My first claim to fame as an artist was at age ten.  Each year in the fall was The Fire Prevention Poster Contest sponsored by the local fire department.  The prize was a Stingray Bicycle for a boy and girl, and a feature in the local newspaper with the winners and their posters.  By the way, I had been riding bikes since age six, so to have a brand new cool one would have been really something.  However, my parents in typical fashion took one look at my poster and said it was terrible.  I was so crushed I almost didn't even try to submit it, after working so hard on it.  Apparently the judges really liked it though, because I won!  My poster was a very colorful matchstick with arms, legs, and a face which was in flames.  I had it seated on a pile of trash, and he was holding up one hand in a warning, with the words, "I'm burning up because YOU didn't put me out!"  The newspaper had a photo of me sitting on the bike, holding up the winning poster I came very close to not submitting because it was so "terrible."🙂

Years ago when I was working at a huge performing arts center complex, The Ringling Brothers And Barnum And Bailey Circus came for three sold out shows.  They arrived two days before to set up.  The arts center complex also contained shops and restaurants.  One day backstage I nearly ran into a Little Lady who was a clown.  As I approached her with my hand extended to meet her, she bolted away.  One of the average size clown ladies told me the Little Person had already been aware of me, but felt embarrassed because she was "only" a circus clown.  Apparently some Little People told her she was demeaning herself and all Little People by being a clown like her parents and grandparents had done.  I asked if her friend would give her a message for me.

"Yeah, sure honey, I'll be glad to!"

We went to a nearby coffee shop and as we had a cup of coffee, I briefly shared my journey as the lady jotted things down on napkins.

"But most of all tell your friend this...she has nothing to ever feel ashamed about.  She is not defined by her dwarfism or being a clown.  That if she is happy doing this (which she was actually), she has already attained far more than many in life do.  Tell her never to let others have the power to take away her happiness or make her feel less than what she is."

The next day the Little Person and I saw each other briefly as she was dressed as a clown rushing to do a performance, but she went out of her way to show me 

a very happy face and heart sign.  Then she gave me a very enthusiastic thumbs up I returned back to her with a huge smile and heart sign.😃👍💫

                          

Knowing that moment...

Though I majored in Theatre Scene Design, part of 

the curriculum also involved taking an Acting course, Costuming, Light Design, and Stage Management classes too, so one had a broad sense of Theatre.  Acting majors had to do this as well.  It actually turned out I was a damn good actress.  And a great Lighting Designer.  But for me, Theatre Set Design is where my heart was and always has been.💕🎭

There is a very important thing we were taught in acting, and that is knowing the moment.  This also applies to those knowing when to act or not to act moments in our lives we encounter.  Because we all have those moments of decision.  

Yet sometimes we plunge forth, only the timing isn't right.  Then if we wait for the right timing, the moment goes sailing right by us.  If an actor misses the cue or isn't prepared, the whole play can flop.  So just knowing there IS a moment that is THE MOMENT can help us learn when to act or not.👍

However we shouldn't plunge forth into a moment of huge decision making when we are right smack in the midst of overwhelming emotions like grief, anger, envy, impatience, fear, or resentment.  Step back, take a deep breath, and wait a moment.

Remember everything happening NOW determines 

the FUTURE.  So try to gauge the pros and cons of this decision or that one.  You see the same timing vital to show business is vital to our decision making whether we act or not.👍

In my recent blog, "When My Surgeon Cried," I touched on the story about my second spine surgery two days before Christmas, when everything went wrong during surgery (none of this the fault of my surgeon), and I was paralyzed.  Thankfully though, there was still movement in my toes, so with my determination and a hard won battle, I again learned to walk over time.  What I didn't touch on, was why I made the decision to have the surgery done the week of Christmas in the first place.  This was major spine surgery.  Even if everything had gone right, I was still going to be in hospital well beyond the New Year holiday too.

In theatre, decisions are usually made on which productions will be done a year in advance or longer.  Sets are typically begun in the spring or sooner, for the following new season beginning in the fall of that year.  Often Christmas can be a slow time for the designers.  Wanting to lose as little time as necessary from my work, I had to make a critical decision for what was best.  

I had another concern too though.  Winters can be very unpredictable.  There was my dear Patches who at that time was only six months old.  During that same year we were in a severe drought, but I was bringing him through it.  I weighed my options.  Talked with other boarders, as well as both the Executive Director and Artistic Director of the theatre I was working for then.  

Thankfully I had their full support. 

So with the support of my theatre and my fellow boarders who assured me Patches would be taken care of as needed during the winter, my doctor and I went ahead and scheduled the spine surgery two days before Christmas.

I awoke in ICU on Christmas Day.  From there it took me nearly four months to get from bed to cane.  And to six months without a cane.  By the time sets needed to be prepared for the following season, I was able to do them, even while still using the cane at first.

Though things certainly did not go as planned during the surgery, because I had made myself step back and weigh everything before I acted, scheduling the surgery right before Christmas turned out to be the best decision for all, regarding timing.  I knew my moment.

We have to learn to trust our instincts and be patient with knowing the moment.  But patience is not easy.  Believe me, I know.  Especially when faced with huge decisions.  Yet what IS patience, but trying to be wise and to use some restraint for just a bit?👍 

Knowing The Moment takes stepping outside of ourselves TO know The Moment and focus.  This is what actors do.

This is also what a Little Set Designer learned on her challenging galloping journey too.🐎😃🐎💫

Hilarious charm event...

Though Kentucky is not considered to be a deep south state we nevertheless share some of the unique traits of the south.  Three important things here are charm, saving face, and loyalty (gossip does not apply to southern loyalty for one can gossip all over the place here and still be considered VERY loyal).

It is also important to know this region is very hilly.

Also here in the south, especially on many of our horse farms the main houses have huge verandas where families gather on nice Sunday afternoons.  There is another very charming thing about the south and this is the fact here ladies are still addressed as "Miss" with their first name, only it tends to get pronounced as "Miz" instead, such as Miz Adelaide.

My just-a-friend Danny exemplified southern charm and as I soon discovered, saving face.  Danny also tinkered on cars, but wasn't quite as good on them as he thought he was.  But he boarded a horse at the same farm I did, which is how we knew each other.  After I learned to walk again the second time, but hadn't been allowed 

to drive yet, Danny very kindly drove me out to the 

farm with him.  But for some reason he was always driving a different car though.🙃

Have I said how hilly it is here yet?  Believe me, it really IS very VERY hilly here.🤣

So one bright Sunday afternoon after Danny and I had been out at the farm and were heading back to town, 

as we were really flying quite fast down a very steep hill, Danny calmly said to me, "Uh oh, the brakes went out again."

Not so calmly I replied, "WHAT?!!  WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE BRAKES WENT OUT?!!"😱

"We have no brakes."🙄 

"OHHH SHIT!"

By this time we were careening down this steep hill, when Danny suddenly turned the speeding car into the driveway of the Higgins Mansion.  On the veranda were gathered all the Higginses and their iced teas.😳

The driveway had a loop which proceeded right in front of the verandah (southern spelling).  Danny wanted to drive around this loop a few times till we slowed down enough to proceed on our way.  However we #1, were not in a position to tell the Higgins family what was happening BECAUSE WE COULDN'T STOP TO TELL THEM, and #2, Danny was flat out determined to save face at all cost, as his passenger was wondering if SHE should save her life by making a leap from the speeding car.🤪

"Now Miz Adelaide, each time we go past the Higginses veranDAH, wave and smile, so they think what we're doing is normal."

"WHAT?!!  THIS ISN'T NORMAL."🤣

"Please just do it?  I don't want the Higgins to think I have screwed up another car."🙃

So we ended up making FIVE loops all around the Higgins' driveway, politely waving and smiling to all the Higginses each loop we went around like nothing was wrong, as all the Higginses very politely waved and smiled back to us each loop we made with the most startled looks upon their faces.🥴

"Uh Danny, aren't they wondering WHY WE'RE NOT STOPPING?"🤣

"Probably.  But southern charm means if somebody comes down your driveway making five loops around your loop while very politely waving and smiling as they go by in front of your verandah each time without stopping, you respond with sincere politeness back without questioning their reasons."🙄

"BUT DANNY, THEIR FACES HAVE 'QUESTIONING OUR REASONS' WRITTEN ALL OVER THEM!"😂

"Yeah, well maybe being a little mysterious about exactly why we're making these five loops around their loop is a good thing."

"Danny, you know they're going to be talking about this for decades, right?"

"Maybe."

By the time we made five loops and headed safely on our way with the brakes miraculously working again somehow, Danny and I left all the Higginses with one final series of very polite smiles with waving and then even a toot on the car horn too after a charmingly successful saving face event.👍

And yes, nearly everyone in the region soon heard about the Sunday the charming Danny and Miz Adelaide made a social call FROM A MOVING CAR TEN LOOPS (it became exaggerated in the MANY retellings through the decades, you see) while happily waving and smiling at the Higgins family as they all sat on their veranDAH with their iced teas very happily waving and smiling back.

I began driving again immediately afterwards...🤣

A race of change...

Those of us who boarded and cared for our own horses at Blue Heaven Stable were on the "wrong" side of the road outside Wildwood.  On the other side of the road were people driving Mercedes and BMW's with close access to the vast trails, fields, and lake.  These were horse owners who rode expensive horses they paid others to care for.  And though they looked down their noses at us, you will see one day something very special happened which opened their hearts and changed some attitudes.😃

Each summer the town of Wildwood held a horse show for the elite.  After the Danny & Renegade fiasco I wrote about recently, the townspeople of Wildwood realized (aside from Danny, that is😂), there were some REALLY very nice horse people on the "other" side of the road.  

So one day the Mayor of Wildwood asked if we would participate in Wildwood's Cross Country Relay Horse Race.  Though we agreed, we were not crazy about doing it.  That is, until we were not so nicely challenged by the Elite group, who claimed they would leave us in the dust "where all of YOU belong."🤔

To them, we politely accepted.  To each other, we were determined to leave THEM in OUR dust, where we thought THEY belonged.  We had enough of their rude attitude.🤨

The Relay Race would be a mile and a half long, no jumping, but some sharp turns, shallow water, and small hills.  Judges would be stationed throughout.

There would be six participants on each team.  We decided our team would include Ben, John, Margie, 
Lucas, Rory, and me, on my horse Bashum.  Since 
Bashum and I could REALLY gallop fast and I was as daring as hell, it was decided Bashum and I would do 
the final stretch to help make up for any time lost during the previous stretches.  Our intent was NOT to lose any time if we could help it.🙂  

On the day of the event, it appeared the whole town was there.  And EVERYONE from our barn came to support us.🤠

Soon after we arrived, a member on the other team 
LOUDLY yelled (for our benefit) to his teammates, "Hey look!  They've got the midget riding on their team!  How crazy is that?!!  These losers haven't got a chance!!!"  Some of their supporters also joined in on the ugliness.

Just before Ben, John, Lucas, and Rory were about to go DESTROY the idiot, I made them (#1) know that if I could handle it, they could too, (#2) he was doing it on purpose to upset us, and (#3) yes it was mean but let it go.🤫

The time arrived for riders to mount their horses, and 

take their places on the course.  

Of all things, I discovered I was riding against the Idiot himself.  With the judge present though, he remained quiet.  In the distance a huge crowd had gathered at the Finish Line.

Ben on his horse Rory (yes, we had a human Rory and a horse Rory!🤠) was doing the stretch before mine.  In the far distance I could see John approaching Ben who was ahead of their rider.  

Suddenly something happened!  

When the rider facing off against Ben stood up in his stirrups to reach for the baton the same as Ben was doing as John approached, the right stirrup strap of Ben's opponent snapped.  

We would have immediately been declared the winners, but dear Ben did a very noble thing.  He asked if the judge would allow the rider who just finished to give one of his straps to the rider with the broken one.  The judge said it was very kind of Ben, and allowed it.  So the strap was replaced, and the two riders lined up again, with Ben placed the same distance ahead as John was when the strap snapped.👍

Meanwhile, MY very rude, impatient opponent began swearing and complaining.  The judge told him if he didn't shut up he would give us the race.  He shut up.

Ben and Rory (his horse) were off!  They easily held onto their lead, as my vile opponent screamed at Ben's opponent to whip his horse.  Ben reached me at least three lengths ahead of the opponent, then handed off the baton to me, as Bashum and I BURST into a fast gallop.💥

When the baton was handed off to my opponent, he 
nearly dropped it.  Bashum and I were a good distance ahead, yet with Bashum being a smaller horse than the opponent's horse, I didn't want to lose any ground.  I tapped Bashum on the rump with the reins, which was 
all I needed to do, and he knew what to do.  He poured it on.🐎💥🐎

We crossed the Finish Line far ahead of the opposing team!  Soon all my teammates on their horses were surrounding us as we all hugged and were being cheered.💫🤩💫

It turned out many there were actually hoping we WOULD win!😃

Yet the best part of all of this is the reaction of the Elites, for they heard what Ben had done.  All of them except the very RUDE one whom they were shunning afterwards, came up to us wanting to apologize for the ways they had treated us, and to congratulate us!

From that moment on, The Attitude they once had vanished, and the change was beautiful.💫

Sometimes in this crazy world magic still happens.  But you see, I have always kind of known this...especially if there are horses. 💫🐎🤠🐎💫

Leave them laughing...

I have always tried to find ways to keep humor in situations.  And since I spent a huge amount of time in hospitals with doctors, they often were on the receiving end...😂

When I had the spine surgery that came very close to permanently paralyzing me, I had a orthopaedic surgeon with a sense of humor as wicked as mine.  We would often humorously banter back and forth with each other.  This is same dear surgeon who was operating on me when thirteen hours in I suddenly began bleeding out during surgery, which was not his fault.  And who cried two days afterwards in ICU when we discovered I could only move a few toes, because he felt so bad for me.

This is also the same surgeon who came to the emergency room when I had my first ever accident with a horse.  Bashum and I were galloping across a field when we disturbed some huge grasshoppers, and one suddenly flew into Bashum's eye.  He stumbled west, and I went flying high east...with my tailbone taking the brunt of my landing.  

As I somehow managed to drive myself to the emergency room, I feared two things:  that I either seriously injured my spine which surgery had been scheduled for at Christmas, and/or my dear surgeon was going to kill me.

He came into the room laughing.  Hard.  Very, very hard.  

"I heard you went flying and had a rough landing!"

"Well the flying high in the air part really wasn't 

too bad."  

Still laughing hard, he said, "And you fractured your tailbone.  In TWO places!  Most people only fracture their tailbones in one place, but you tend to go the extra mile."

"Well, I like to think BIG, you know?!!"

Though he obviously always had concerns about his unique patient flying across fields on her horses bareback, he loved how I wasn't defined by the dwarfism...and was one hell of a fighter.

Anyway, prior to the Christmas spine surgery, I had made a sign and laminated it.  I wanted to have a moment of fun even though I knew I would have already been knocked out.  So on the morning of the surgery, I attached the sign I made to my back with surgical tape hidden by the hospital gown.  No one knew it was there.  

It wasn't until after I was on the operating table all knocked out that they turned me over.  My surgeon opened the gown only to suddenly see in these huge block letters: 

"REMEMBER, DON'T SCREW THIS UP."

I was told later it took everyone several long moments before they could quit laughing and regain their composure.  

I heard my now retired surgeon kept the sign and treasures it.🐎😃🐎💫