Whoever Finds This I Love You...

This previously halfway completed blog sat for awhile before I could finish writing the hard part you will come to about Trevor, a friend.  

Yet what this contains is a message of how a song can have a powerful impact on us.  And holding onto hope.  

Especially for a thirteen year old Adelaide.

For you see had it not been for the sorrow which carved me from within...had it not been for my courage and finding the best friends when needed most, I would not have soared to attaining all the joy of living the very full amazing life I have had.  

Because of this you would not be reading about a Little Person galloping through the challenges of her life, or her horses, theatre, tough stuff, hilarious stuff, gratitude attitude stuff.  Someone who despite living with the most horrendous challenges and losses kept soaring anyway.  AND STILL IS.

My life at thirteen though was a dark time and filled with loss.  Dear friends from the Orphanage I stayed at were sent to foster homes, my Grandfather suddenly died.  I faced yet another new school with terrible ridicule.  And my childhood was filled with the unending violence and instability from my "parents" instead of having the love and acceptance of normal parents.

At this time the following song below, written and sung by the late Mac Davis hit the charts.  I not only embraced the song deeply, I did exactly what the child 

does by writing the same words with my name on lots of paper using crayons, then letting the wind scatter them everywhere to find a friend and believing I would.  I was that desperate for a friend then.

And someone DID seek Adelaide out.  A boy two years older than me who lived down the road who had a horse.  Trevor told me he too desperately needed a friend but never would have had the courage to do what I did to find one by way of wind blowing scraps of paper with heartfelt words written in crayon.

For a very brief time we became close friends and talked a lot.  We galloped our horses across fields and laughed.  Sadly though Trevor thought suicide would be the only way to deal with things.  My innate fighting spirit was too strong a force for me to ever take my life.  I tried so hard to help Trevor as did his loving parents but one day early that Fall he took his life.  It was I who found him. 

I was devastated.  Shattered.  

Yet like the child did in the song knowing she was alone again, she pressed forth by writing her heart in crayon on more scraps of paper with the same tender words as before. Only I went a step further to pressing forth by writing that poem of mine about the darkness of a life without hope in it and why hope needed to be held onto.  

As I shared in a recent blog, because of that poem my English teacher reached out and poured her love into me as her family did too.  Her love took me far beyond my sorrows enabling me to soar because having hope does this.  Three years later I found my four incredible mentor friends and I began my very amazing galloping life.

So never let go of hope out there, dear ones.

At the end of these lyrics below is the link to Mac Davis singing the sweet melody to these words that a young Adelaide too wrote in crayon on many scraps of paper long ago before scattering them with the wind to find a friend.

And I still am finding them.

   

    On a quiet street

    In the city

    A little old man walked along

    Shufflin' thru the autumn afternoon

    And the autumn leaves reminded him

    Another summer's come and gone

    He had a lonely night ahead

    Waitin' for June

Then among the leaves
Near the orphan's home
A piece of paper caught his eye
And he stooped to pick it up with trembling hands
As he read the childish writing
The old man began to cry
'Cause the words burned inside of him
Like a brand

Whoever finds this I love you
Whoever finds this I need you
I ain't even got no one to talk to
So whoever finds this I love you

The old man's eyes searched the orphan's home
And came to rest upon a child
With her nose pressed up against the window pane
And the old man knew he'd found a friend at last
So he waved at her and smiled
And they both knew they'd spend the winter laughing at the rain

And they did spend the winter laughing at the rain
Talkin' thru the trees and exchanging little gifts
They'd made for each other
The old man would carve toys for the little girl
And she would draw pictures for him of beautiful ladies
Surrounded by green trees and sunshine
And they laughed a lot
But then on the first day of June
The little girl ran to the fence to show
The old man a picture she had drawn
But he wasn't there
And somehow the little girl knew he wasn't coming back
So she went back to her little room
Took a crayon, piece of paper and wrote:

Whoever finds this I love you
Whoever finds this I need you
I ain't even got no one to talk to
So whoever finds this I love you

Songwriters: Mac Davis

Whoever Finds This, I Love You lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC

*Blogger is not posting this as a working link, so please copy and paste this.  It is a song worth hearing.    A.

https://youtu.be/P7KU7Zvjp0Y