Ah, my dear ones...there are two words that have been the catalyst of my having what I keep referring to as my enduring gratitude attitude, and I shall write about them today, because maybe, just maybe, they may be uplifting to you also during these trying events. I hope so.
The two words? "And yet." Trust me, these are two very powerful little words. And they carry hope spreading out like ripples on water.
Briefly for new readers, the severe and very painful spinal cord inflammation disease I have is shutting down my digestive track and weakening my legs as it moves up my spinal cord. In recent years I have had two major emergency abdominal surgeries due to this. Both my bladder and colon are barely functioning. Besides pain, I live with nausea. And nothing more can be done.
However, friends, doctors, and others are profoundly touched and inspired by my attitude. No one can imagine, including my doctors, the nightmare they know I am living. What they hear is this...
"I had a really hard week. Have another urinary infection. In terrible pain. Can barely make it from the bed to the bathroom. And yet...I am very blessed, for when I gaze out my windows all I can see are the beauty and vastness of hills, trees, and horse farms for miles. I have my music and my piano. And I have three funny, loving cats."
Recently, one of my doctors and I were talking about this...
"Adelaide, how do you keep from being depressed?"
"There are moments when I am sad and very weary, and yet, look how I have been blessed to gallop on horses I owned, had success with my art, theatre, was in demand as a speaker, loved and was loved, laughed a lot, rode in a hearse once ALIVE, and had a very full life despite being in the hospital so much. You see, I have all these things to hold onto I am so grateful for because I got to cram so much living into my journey."
"Still, don't you ever feel cheated to be where you are physically? I mean, I have never had another patient with as much wrong as you have, and yet you always come in here with a smile on your face, delighting everyone."
"Remember the Serenity Prayer? Accept the things I cannot change?" With the Serenity Prayer I learned decades ago to accept the body I am in and these daunting physical battles with it. Yeah, living in my body is terribly challenging, and yet I am grateful for the many things I still have been able to do. You see, if I were to keep focused on my glass as always being half empty, rather than keeping focused on my glass being half full, I would never be the person others would WANT to be around, or inspired by."
"By the way Adelaide did you know the Serenity Prayer is called the 'Acceptance' prayer?"
"Yep. It is also known as the Prayer Of Hope too."
What I am trying to convey here, dear ones, is no matter how challenging the circumstances are, there are still the "and yets," to embrace. I have been blessed with a friend who is a quadriplegic who tells everyone, "I am paralyzed, and yet can still see and hear and make a difference in the lives of others." There is another friend who lives in a war torn country who has lost everything, who says, "and yet I still have my family and we are safe."
Perhaps your challenges may be the worse you have ever known, and yet...
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