Wednesday, June 10, 2020

Bloopers with Patches...

As I have shared, as soon as anyone hears I own and ride horses, the first question I am asked is not what kind or colour but, "How do you get ON your horse?!!"  

So when television stations were featuring Patches and I during the time of our famous Ride, they wanted to film my getting on Patches, because our fanbase was keen to know this.  When I addressed this very subject in my funny blog, "How a Little Person gets on her horse," I touched on the fact horses cannot be depended upon to remain still for more than a few seconds so hilarious things can happen when making the getting on process.

First, what I used most, was my car hood.  All of my horses knew the process, which involved them standing next to my car, as I quickly climbed onto the hood, then got on their backs.  Twenty-four out of twenty-five times the process would go quite well.  And usually when that one time happened when it didn't go so well, there would never fail but be an audience on hand laughing hysterically.

Which happened when two television stations were filming their segments on how I got on Patches, got off Patches, and cared for Patches.  They had already done a segment filming how Patches came galloping to me when I called his name.  And that segment went quite well, because once and awhile, Patches in his excitement to come to me, could misjudge the stopping distance necessary at a full gallop, and slide into me.🙃

Anyway, I lined Patches up next to my car, then rushed 
to get onto the hood of the car before he moved.  Only 
he did just a bit.  No problem.  I knew I could still make 
the distance.  But the thing is, you see, I needed to really propel myself to do this, and had done it successfully many times.  However, if one propels oneself TOO hard, one goes sailing high in the air right OVER the horse to 
the ground with amazing aplomb.  Which is exactly 
what I did.  As the cameras were rolling.  And the crews were laughing.  Uncontrollably.🤣

Next, the crews wanted to get a clip of Patches and I galloping towards them from the fields.  We were doing quite wonderfully, Patches and I...until he decided to suddenly stop way before we arrived at the place where we were SUPPOSED to stop.  I promptly went flying over his head, but very heroically managed to somehow land on my feet.

THIS...was turning out to be one of THOSE days.🥴  

Next the television crews wanted to film me caring for Patches, like grooming him, and cleaning out his hooves.

To clean the hooves of a horse, one must balance their hoof in one's lap while squatting, then deftly clean and check each hoof.  Usually there very seldom is an instance where anything can go wrong during this process.  Perhaps it was because Patches' normal 
day was being interrupted to accommodate our being filmed, you see.  For as I was squatting with his right REAR hoof in my lap, I suddenly noticed his tail raising 
up, which can mean only ONE thing.  He was shitting.  
I managed to dive out of the way just in time.  PLOP.🤣

Then it was time to film me grooming Patches.  What could POSSIBLY happen doing THIS, right?!!  WRONG.

Patches absolutely loved whenever I groomed his back or scratched his back.  When I did, it felt so good he would completely relax with closed eyes loving it.  However, on very rare occasions, he would REALLY relax.  And I mean RELAX.  As in a certain organ of his anatomy dropping down.  THAT kind of relax.😱  

Well, Patches happened to get THAT kind of relax with television crews filming.  Oh, they really began laughing then.  I mean they just totally lost it.🤣  

Finally, they wanted me to get back on Patches again, and film us galloping away across the huge expanse of fields.  Now with THIS segment everything went right.  Beautifully right, as we galloped off without wings soaring away into the distance.😃

I made the television crews promise me to PLEASE not ever use those OTHER parts of the filming in anything.  They assured me they wouldn't THINK of ever doing such a thing.🙄 

Several months later, for our fanbase, a thirty minute piece was done all about our very touching story again.  And within the piece just happened to be this bloopers segment...🤣














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