The Castle visit...

In my blog, "My Time Spent In Prison," I wrote about my dear friend Nora of many years.  We both were powerful speakers, and had been asked by the Warden of a women's prison to come speak, and were such a hit with not only the women, but the staff as well, we were asked to come back many times.

Apparently the Warden had been raving to his wife about us, because one week Nora got a call from a lady inviting us to come talk.  Days later Nora called me.  "Adelaide!  I nearly forgot!  We have a speaking engagement at some women's group!"

"When?"

"Today, at 4pm."

"Today?!!  How long have you known this?!!"

"Uh, about two weeks."

"Nora!!!"🤪

Kentucky was in the midst of one of its' worse droughts in state history during that time.  Everything was dusty.  Especially my car, since I was raising Patches from a foal and had to feed him twice a day.  I had no choice but to keep two bales of hay in my car, besides sacks of feed, and all his other stuff.  With a dress, fancy shoes, and makeup in tow, I rushed out to the farm to care for Patches, and got ready while he ate.

As Nora and I were driving to the address given, I heard rumblings coming from her body.  There is a beloved, well known hamburger chain throughout the eastern and midwest States, called White Castle.  The hamburgers are small, loaded with onions, cheap, and good.  Also open twenty-four hours a day.

"Nora, please tell me you haven't eaten at White Castle in the last twelve hours?"

"Adelaide, I ate at White Castle just before the sun came up this morning."

"NORA!  You know those cause you intense gas!  How many did you eat?"

"Uh, nine?  Ten?"🙃

"Nora, I have a bad feeling about this."🥴

We both did by the time we arrived at the address given.  This wasn't going to be just any little women's group.  We first arrived at the gate of a rich gated community with mansions.  HUGE mansions.  And we damn near didn't get in until Security verified with the Hostess, we were who we said we were.  It likely was the fact a Little Person with an African American woman in a VERY dusty Runabout filled with hay and horse feed that threw the guard off we decided.  Do ya think?!!🤣

"Oh shit, Nora!  Look at these mansions!"😱

So we arrive at the mansion belonging to a very wealthy CEO.  Valets were there to park cars.  You can imagine their faces when WE drove up in a VERY old dusty car filled with hay and horse feed.  NOT the kind of cars they were used to!

A nice butler dressed fancy, then escorted us through many large rooms to the one where the wealthy ladies were.  Each room we passed through, the carpet became deeper, and were more ornate than the previous room.  Obviously the Hostess knew immediately who we were, because we stood out you see.🙄

"Oh dahlings, you must be Adelaide and Nora!"  DUH.

There were about fifty or sixty women dressed to the nines in furs, dresses, gloves, heels, with expensive jewelry.  A fancy table with tea, coffee, finger sandwiches, and cakes had been laid out.  Since I was not the one who ate a huge amount of White Castles, and hadn't eaten all day, I helped myself to a few things, besides coffee.

The time came for us to speak.  I was first.  The butler had to bring me a chair so I could reach the podium and microphone.  As I spoke, I noticed Nora who was seated to my left, had begun to squirm uncomfortably.😱 

When I was done the women gave me a rousing applause.

Now it was Nora's turn.  Midway through her powerful story either the effects of riding in a car filled with hay or all the gallons of perfume these ladies used hit her, for suddenly she sneezed unleashing a chain reaction, because when she sneezed the loudest, longest, fart in history escaped the poor woman.😳  Oh, it didn't end there either, because she sneezed again and again and again with the same results each time.😱

By this time I was in my seat drowning in uncontrollable laughter with tears running down my face.🤣

Many ladies unable to endure the White Castle gas bombs, exited to another room, while maids opened windows and sprayed canisters of air freshener.  The kind butler said he never laughed so hard in his life showed us to a bathroom, which by then I was about to pee all over myself.  Thankfully Nora's "problem" had cleared up thanks to all the escaping gas bombs, you see.🥴

So if you're clamoring to know what happened next, because Nora was such a powerful speaker, and many ladies themselves had also experienced the White Castle gas bomb phenomenon, they insisted she finish.  In fact, we were invited to several other mansions for more tea time talks later!😃

Only I made darn sure from then on Nora never had any White Castles on the same day we were asked to speak anywhere!🤣